To Look Good is Already to Go Fast

Its no coincidence he looks as fast as he is. Photo: Pedale.Forchetta

To look good is already to go fast.
-Paul Fournel, Vélo

My approach to research is pretty straight forward. First, I develop an opinion – usually in a cognitively compromised state. This is the first step in the process for the simple reason that it avoids the bulk of the hard work involving things like reading and thinking. Next, I cherry-pick evidence from my experience and what few materials I have read on the subject in order to support my opinion. Finally, I defend myself with whatever dirty tricks or facts I need to invent in order to maintain my position.

It is only on rare occasions that I will be unable to guess at the evidence I need to support my claim, but in those cases I already know I’m right, so not finding evidence that contradicts my position is almost the same as finding some that supports it. I consider those circumstances validation of my opinion and thus fortify the resolve that I’m right.

Over the lifetime of The Rules, numerous bright sparks have popped up out of the ether like some sort of internet Whack-A-Mole to point out that many of them are all about aesthetics. The point is true enough, but the Velominati have always understoodd that Looking Fantastic is the fundamental building block to finding the motivation to get out on the bike day in, day out – Rule #9 or shine. The fact that the hard work of training is what actually makes you faster is glossed over when you get excited about kitting up in your Flandrian Best, echoing the summoning of Flemish hardmen who have come before you, and using their image to inspire you to get out and lay down the V. Its basic, really.

Despite how certain I’ve always been that this is Truth and that The Rules have been handed down by Merckx from high on Mount Velomis to inspire the masses, an Austrian professor, Dr. Erik Postma of the University of Zurich, recently conducted a study to see whether Looking Fantastic really does indicate athletic prowess.

The results confirmed that Science is unnecessary when you’ve already guessed the truth, but nevertheless it is handy to have a scientific study support my assumptions in case I can’t make up facts as quickly as I need to during an argument. It also strikes me as interesting that the study found that women on the pill are about as good at identifying attractive males as men are.

Thanks to Shaka Mitchell for sending this validating study along to us.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

unversio says:

Feb 13 2014 at 10:00 am

@Harminator

@wiscot

@Teocalli

@wiscot

@frank

@Chris

I'm sorry, Chris. Were you saying something about V-Caps?

Not to be too nit-picky, but when the brim is down, shouldn't "Obey the Rules" read left-to-right? It reads correctly if the brim is up . . .

Pic 2 is from the back!

D'oh! (slaps forehead while blushing.)

Not nit picky at all. Listen Fronk, this is just your target market re-defining the brief a little.

All we want is a cap with 3 simple words on the underside of brim, oriented so the wearer can read them when the brim is down, and the viewer can read them when the brim is up? Capiche?

You're the designer. We don't want to hear "impossible" we want solutions.

Just remember it without having to read it. Reading on a brim is a bad design choice anyway.
Nate says:

Feb 13 2014 at 11:15 am

@frank

@Nate

@frank and I can't believe that tumblr wasn't already in effect. Well done.

When a bull wanders by, seemingly hopped up on sedatives, grab it by the horns. You can have it if you want; I just grabbed it while I could.

You have already set too high a standard for me to take over the tumblr.

Do sedatives have an inverse reaction in bulls?
G'rilla says:

Feb 13 2014 at 3:16 pm

Some research in the other direction...post-ride beer hampers recovery.

But is that really a surprise?

http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0088384
PeakInTwoYears says:

Feb 13 2014 at 3:25 pm

@G'rilla

Some research in the other direction...post-ride beer hampers recovery.

But is that really a surprise?

http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0088384

For Merckx's sake, people. There must be limits to this kind of talk.
PeakInTwoYears says:

Feb 13 2014 at 3:27 pm

In the interest of karmic balance:
Nate says:

Feb 13 2014 at 5:31 pm

@G'rilla

Some research in the other direction...post-ride beer hampers recovery.

But is that really a surprise?

http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0088384

What a load of bollocks. That study is trying to replicate team sport binge drinking -- the protocol is for the subject to have 12 +/- 2 vodka drinks after. We, in contrast, are cyclists, not barbarians or Russians, and have far more refined drinking habits.
frank says:

Feb 13 2014 at 5:41 pm

@G'rilla

Some research in the other direction...post-ride beer hampers recovery.

But is that really a surprise?

http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0088384

You can't believe everything you read, and conducting a good experiment is really hard.

@Nate

@G'rilla

Some research in the other direction...post-ride beer hampers recovery.

But is that really a surprise?

http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0088384

What a load of bollocks. That study is trying to replicate team sport binge drinking "” the protocol is for the subject to have 12 +/- 2 vodka drinks after. We, in contrast, are cyclists, not barbarians or Russians, and have far more refined drinking habits.

This. There's a reason you've got that badge, mate.

@G'rilla, I blame that useless 13" MBP you just told me you're using. The resolution is way too low to be able to comprehend this sort of Awesome.
The Pressure says:

Feb 13 2014 at 5:57 pm

@Weldertron I think POC doesn't like cyclists. Their helmets for skiing and motocross look pretty slick but their cycle helmets look like brain-injury protection.
Minnesota Expat says:

Feb 13 2014 at 6:23 pm

Photo: pedale.forchetta

You know, I like looking at VeloKittens, Vanderkittens and Liz Hatch's thighs as much as the next red-blooded American (or British, Italian, Aussie, Kiwi and any others on this site) male, but I really want THOSE calves. Well, not THOSE calves, rather, calves that look like THOSE calves.
andrew says:

Feb 14 2014 at 1:18 am

@unversio

@Harminator

@wiscot

@Teocalli

@wiscot

@frank

@Chris

I'm sorry, Chris. Were you saying something about V-Caps?

Not to be too nit-picky, but when the brim is down, shouldn't "Obey the Rules" read left-to-right? It reads correctly if the brim is up . . .

Pic 2 is from the back!

D'oh! (slaps forehead while blushing.)

Not nit picky at all. Listen Fronk, this is just your target market re-defining the brief a little.

All we want is a cap with 3 simple words on the underside of brim, oriented so the wearer can read them when the brim is down, and the viewer can read them when the brim is up? Capiche?

You're the designer. We don't want to hear "impossible" we want solutions.

Just remember it without having to read it. Reading on a brim is a bad design choice anyway.

Not sure you quite got the 'impossible' element in there. That, or you're operating on a level of irony well above what I can detect.