White Lightning Shades

Ian Stannard crushes gravel and pulls the mortals in his wake of Awesome. Photo: Pedale.Forchetta Ian Stannard crushes gravel and pulls the mortals in his wake of Awesome. Photo: Pedale.Forchetta
Ian Stannard crushes gravel and pulls the muddled masses in his wake of Awesome. Photo: Pedale.Forchetta

I like definition, to place things in a box and tightly seal the lid. It makes me feel comfortable, like another of life’s little mysteries has been stored away for safe keeping. I also love ambiguity; it is the space wherein all interesting questions are asked; the unknown is life’s greatest beauty. You might say that makes me a hypocrite but I prefer to think of it as a paradox.

The subjective choices surrounding aesthetics are an obvious target for this peculiar neurosis of mine, and therefor I am bound by blood to draw hard lines by which I judge with a harsh and heavy gavel. These are lines that may never be crossed until such time that I change my mind, in which case there will be a loudly articulated logic tree defending the change.

And so it is with the choice of sunglass frames which, obviously, should always be white.*

The first mistake the Pedalwan makes when trying their hand at Looking Fantastic is to overmatch their kit. Everything the in monochrome from tops to tails, throughout with the same dominant colors. It isn’t the worst place to start, much better than an uncoordinated hodgepodge for certain, but the eye needs some balanced variety; some disruptions to give it something cling to.

Cycling has a lot happening from an aesthetic point of view; bicycle frames, wheels, tires, shoes, socks, gloves, bar tape, saddles, bidons, helmets, jerseys, shorts, whirring guns…each offering its own shape, design, and color palette. Geometrically, we have variety covered. But when it comes to colors, the sky’s the limit (so long as the shorts are black). We are free to get creative and let different color combinations play off each other. But in the midst of all that noise, the eye needs a lightening rod, something neutral to to take the charge off all that Awesome. This is where white sunglasses come in: they offer a neutral contrast point to the technicolor delight that is the Elite Cyclist.

Looking Fantastic is an art. There is no user guide, no App for That. The choices you make are your own and are in themselves less important than your confidence in them. But never underestimate the grounding power of White Lightning Shades.

* This applies strictly to cycling-specific activities and does not include being shirtless on the beach wearing obnoxious square white shades to try to impress the babes. Also, in case you’re that guy and you’re reading this, the girls at the beach who are sunbathing with their bikini top untied are onto your plan to play frisbee right next to them in the hope of startling them and getting them to sit up quickly. Seriously, its not their first rodeo; try something else. Like not being such a dingbat.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • As ever, there's an exception that proves this rule. Step forward, Weight of a Nation.

  • On to this way back in the 80's. Got a pair of Oakley Factory Pilots as a gift, (from my Cycling Sensei if I can recall) and they were red framed. Next day I painted them white and the white paint is still hanging on!

    Bike frame was red at the time and it would've been red overkill.

  • Interesting your article on fashion aesthetics is lead by a photo of a rider wearing black socks....

  • @Puffy

    Interesting your article on fashion aesthetics is lead by a photo of a rider wearing black socks....

    probably a concession to the poor swannies that have to wash the kit after that much gravel work.

    On a personal note I'm a black glasses kinda guy for two reasons. First, I'm already wearing a white helmet so it could be a little too much white up top. Second, the Keepers hadn't released the Witte Kitte when I got these custom babies made up.

  • My white lightning shades are oakley fast jackets. A mate recommended them as he used to wear them for mountain biking. They look incredibly pro and they are the best eyewear I've ever owned, including my RayBans which, of course, have never been worn on the bike

  • Heavy gavel? He come tha judge, he come tha judge...

    I have been spending too much money on nice shades since I was 12 and put about twenty lawns towards a pair of Oakley SubZeroes. Those things were odd, but lovable.

    As I write, I'm contemplating another pair of shades. Do I need them? Nah, I have some White Lightnings, I have some Black Thunders, I have some Overcast Oranges, just so I don't have to swap lenses, though the whole point of some models is...swapping lenses. But, the right shades for the job, plus either matching or contrasting shades to helmet/kit (all black, all white, white/black) keeps me young at heart. Oh, and Looking Fantastic!

    Strong work, Frank! Especially after wrasslin' the site this week, then putting it in a fackin' DDT so we all could get back to shoutin' about Le Tour!

  • Love my white Serfas shades. Great size and shape for the face and good lenses. Not the best in helmet vents, but oh well . . . I have other pairs (including a vintage pair of Bolle Razor Edge) ones which are still serviceable. First pair of cycling specific sunnies? Knockoff Rudy Projects like Charley Mottet's. Bought in southern France in 89. Long gone.

  • Talk about a paradox: white sunglasses while appearing fantastic when worn on the bike, open the door to douchedom off of it.

  • Was it not more than a year or two ago when Frank was stressing over multiple variations of Velominati color-matched custom Oakley Jawbones in hues of orange and grey?

    I agree that white sunnies are the tits and would argue that if you want to color match (as I often find the need to do) get lenses with a mirrored coating in the featured color of your kit.

  • @Ccos

    Talk about a paradox: white sunglasses while appearing fantastic when worn on the bike, open the door to douchedom off of it.

    True. Wearing bike sunnies off the bike is like wearing trainers with a suit.

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