Climbing Weight
When it comes to weight and body dysmorphia, we cyclists can go toe-to-toe with any thirteen year old tween who has done their time flipping through the pages of Vogue and Sixteen. However fit and thin we might be, at some point it dawns on us that we’re not as light as we could be. The obvious solution is to buy lighter parts for our bikes, but eventually we will run out of parts to buy or money to spend. At that point, we’ll have no alternative but to start losing weight.
On the surface, this is a fairly simple matter; calories in minus calories out is the magic to any weight loss voodoo, right up to the point where it stops working because the “calories in” part deviates from our lifestyle or our metabolism decides we’re old and that since everything else is slowing down, it should too.
It is at this juncture that we ask ourselves how we can lose those kilos that seem unwilling to melt from our bodies. The answer varies depending on your lifestyle, body type, how loud your Awesome is, and your ideal riding weight. (By the way, similarly to the number of bikes to own, your ideal riding weight is one kilo less than your current weight, or weight ideal = weight current – 1). But assuming that you enjoy eating, alcohol, or anything else that doesn’t suck, it will require doing something drastic.
My journey through weight loss started with doing everything the same but riding more until that program stalled, and then I started doing sit-ups and leg lifts, both of which meet the aforementioned suck requirement. And then I cut back on beer and wine, which sucks even more, but that’s when things really started happening. A surprising side-effect of cutting down on booze, by the way, is that although you get less charismatic, you feel better in general and sleep better in addition to losing weight. It turns out that alcohol is a poison or something. Who knew?
But now that my V-Jersey isn’t stretched like a balloon on a pumpkin, I’ve moved on to worrying about my upper body, which is bigger than a typical cyclist’s thanks to 15 or so years of nordic ski racing. Which brings me to Ullrich’s sleeves. I have always had it in my mind that Jan and I are of similar physique, aside from the quads and calves and the devilishly good looks. But my stupid sleeves are always tight, and his were always loose. I take off my jersey, and sure enough, there’s that little mark that the sleeves made on each of my arms. Infuriating. The only solution is to focus completely on wasting my upper body into nothing.
Since I’m not doing anything outrageous like routinely lifting weighty objects or doing pushups, the only conclusion I can draw is that I’m carrying too many groceries into the house at once. I’ve therefor moved to a strict regimen of only carrying one gallon of milk at a time. It takes twice as long to unload the car that way, but all that walking is good for my cardio, you just have to push through the pain. I also alternate hands every few strides if I’ve parked more than a hundred meters from the house in order to avoid becoming lopsided.
Finally, if this latest program doesn’t work out as well as I expect it to, I’ve also realized that while carbohydrates are an athlete’s friend in terms of providing easy energy to burn during a workout, they are heavy on the fork, and repetitively lifting forkloads of pasta into my mouth may be what’s causing my shoulders to bulk up unnecessarily. I’m therefor on the lookout for a healthy food source that can be drank from a straw or something in pellet form that I can peck out of a bowl.
It’s drastic, sure, but drastic times call for drastic measures, and I’m determined to get there eventually.
as an ex swimmer and competitive surf lifesaver( but never a triathlete) i know how you feel. my arms don’t fit into the correct sized jersey or skin suit.
i’ve decided to be a track sprinter, and not a climber. it’s a better fit for my cycling body shape
This is the goal that you speak of?
Oh to be climbing weight! My natural build, like you Frank , is to have too much muscle. But I have no desire to be a sprinter, I want to be a grimpeur! I live near mountains! Unfortunately, I like beer and my wife gave me a meatloaf sanwich for lunch and lasgna for dinner. No wonder I’m fat….eff it! Eating has to go! Call it “project schleck” or “the grimpeur method” but this chubby american is going to become a 63 kg spanish climbing specialist! Consider it declared….starting tomorrow.
@unversio how did he do that? I mean retire and get more fit and mean looking vs Lemond or sorry to say it….the prophet and their retirement physiques. Whatever, Eddy can do what he wants.
I have the latest issue of Velo and it has a recent picture of Der Kaiser in it. He’s riding some kind of contraption that has cables coming out of the brake levers and he looks like a cow.
my climbing has improved this year, but I’ll never be a pure climber. that said, my upper body finally fits into size large, race fit jerseys. Ullrich was always one of my favorites, and perennial pick to unseat LA..
@Cyclops oh, jan…..
@wgwalmsley
@graham d.m.
Let’s keep in mind here that one does not necessarily need to be at climbing weight AND be a good climber. These two things are mutually exclusive. Merely being at climbing weight has enough of an ego boost and placebo affect on your riding mates to matter. Good climber or not, either way, you look good at climbing weight.
I’ve lost 9 kilos since Xmas and 5 since the Keepers Tour. I’ve been cultivating the Yates look above and trying to get back there-haven’t been in 6-7 years since I was a fully time Outward Bound instructor. I’m at 74 kilos now and would say I’m at my climbing weight. That said, I’m, as Frank aptly points out, figuring on ways to drop another 2-3 kilos. That terrifies me as school is starting next week (cafeteria food) which also means work (less riding) and winter is settling in (at least I’ve got skiing)
Okay, I just saw tonight watching the Pro Cycling Challenge that Tommy D is 5’10” and 129lbs. I’m a 5’4″ female and weigh 120lbs. (115 after an 85mi. ride with the guys). So depressing. Anyway, I did a juice cleanse last week, and I felt fantastic afterwards and lost 5lbs. in 3 days. Totally flushed out my digestive tract. I keep my arms slim by swimming and running my azz off when I’m not on my rig.
@graham d.m.
Was thinking that he might have “learned” to take supplements during his racing days and has started taking supplements.
He probably eats right, has the right DNA, and has retain a level of badassery too.
@Marko good point, mate! Climbing really can be done by a fatty. But looking good is enough of a bonus on its own. It’s like Fournel says: to look good is to already go fast. Unfortunately, I’m neither right now, but as my ranting above alluded to, inspired by this article (and Jan’s face) I’m getting after it from here on out! Well done on your weightloss this year, and its a tricky combo: eating out and more work but sure you’ve got it covered.
@unversio
Note that he is not actually eating that horrorshow excuse for food. He’s been carrying it around for a week or so in an attempt to fool the press into beliveing that he’s a Pro Team DS and not an extra from Trainspotting.
@Brett. What was that Rule drafted over a skinful of Amstel?
“Drinking beer must never be sacrificed on the alter of cutting weight.”?
Porsche or Jaguar dealer should just bring Sean Yates onto the showroom floor (just as he is pictured above) and instantly start selling autos to women — and men.
@unversio true story, Yates seems to reek of toughness, testosterone, and Sex Panther….
@harminator
So the food is probably just a rubber squeaky toy — decoy.
My first year & a half of riding seriously had some rather encouraging results.
Late 2010, after a year or so of limited activity after giving up aussie rules due to injury, I was beginning to nudge up towards the century mark, which is clearly ridiculous on a 181cm frame in my late 20s. Nearly 18 months later I was down over 15 kilos to the magical 80kg mark in February this year.
No good deed goes unpunished and just over a month later a spill & a busted collarbone led to 2 months off the bike leading in to winter. The fact that a majority of those two months (and if I’m honest, quite a bit of winter as well) was spent in a state that Frank might describe as ‘charismatically poisoned’ might have reversed this process a little.
Slowly but surely as I’ve been getting more consistent riding time back in, the sprinter’s muscle is once again starting to reduce.
Climbing weight? who needs it? Even when racing, there aint that many hilly races for nuffies like us. Keep a bit of muscle up top so you feel better in life generally (ie you can rake leaves without doing your back) and to keep the leydies happy.
When I have been close to being a skinny cyclist (certainly not right now), non-cycling friends asked weird questions. One chick, who i used to dig back in the day, asked a mate, “Has Marcus shrunk?”. Unless you get paid to look like a biafran with a shit tan, the pros of climbing weight might not outweight the cons.
So frank, keep both pairs of your guns in good shape. You never know when you will need to push a skinny climber off his bike before a climb starts.
@Marcus
See now this I like. I can continue to enjoy food and drink with Marcus’ method. I mean in all honesty what’s the difference between me finishing 17th or 47th at the big Cat 5 throwdown in the middle of New Hampshire? I would like to stop sucking at cycling, though and that is the mindset of my weigthloss goals. But at my current size I could simply knock over the skinny guys. Well played, sir!
@Marcus there’s nothing more motivating in terms of getting slim than riding with two best mates who happen to be 160cm, 65kg grimpeurs & seeing the bored look on their faces when they’ve been waiting for a minute or so at the top of each climb…
Sorry, but I thought this entire article was pointless because the lessons it seeks to provide could be persuasively dealt with – as most of life’s problems can – by reference to the Rules.
Here’s all it needed to say:
“Observe Rule #91 and repeat. End of lesson.”
@Mikael Liddy
You hang out with midget twins?
@graham d.m. fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son.
@Mikael Liddy
Just tell your jockey/coxswain buddies that 65kg/160cm gives them a BMI of 25.4 which makes them overweight. Guess you like them that size?
@James
Yes, that would be good reading…
Post for today for your consideration;
Refer Rule #1, #5, #33, #89 and #91. Discuss.
I have the opposite problem at school, trying to shovel in enough of the garbage from the cafeteria so I don’t get too scrawny. I have like no chest, but somewhat large biceps for how small the rest of my upper body is. Absolutely demolished the one 20% but short hill in front of my school today. Two gears up from what I normally ride it in, standing most of the way en danseuse as far as I can tell. Then I got to the top and there was a red light, and my legs were screaming from the lactic acid that I couldn’t clear.
Nice one, Frank! Calories in/out is a curious one; so simply, yet so complex!
A lifetime ago I had the perfect physique for climbing. Unfortunately there were no mountain races in my part of the world (barely any mountains, in fact, and none wihtin easy riding distance). Nowadays, *ahem* significantly heavier, I am working towards developing speed for a return to the velodromes where the only uphill is if you swing up the banking too quickly. Would be much happpier in this endeavour if I wasn’t living on top of a short but very sharp hill, perfectly placed to be too close to home to recover before the front gate – collapsing in a gasping heap is not a good way of maintaining The Look.
@mouse I’ve no idea of their actual measurements (160 may have been an under-estimation, they’re not as short as @Marcus), but it’s depressing watching them disappear up the road as soon as it points upward.
@Mikael Liddy Ha! I have a good 15 centrimetres (and unfortunately right now 15 kgs) on your oompah loompah fuck buddies.
@Marcus of course you do, like Frank has said many times, everyone’s 2 feet taller on the interwebs.
@Mikael Liddy and when you are on the internet you aren’t in Adelaide.
@Mikael Liddy actually, just to save some time, click here. My favorite thing on the internet
@Marcus I’ll save that one til after the boss leaves for the day but I’m assuming that’s where most of your inspiration comes from?
On a slightly more civil topic, any chance you & a few of your Melbournite friends are trekking over here for the TDU in Jan? Daccordi Rider & I are in the early stages of putting together a bit of a Cogal for the Sunday before the race starts.
@Marcus
That was beautiful. Full Metal Jacket was in there three times.
@Marko
You have lost weight? God damn it. You are already a skinny bantam rooster fightin’ wiry mongoose. You will take Mac Mark to the cleaners in Belgium. You, losing weight, fuck off.
@Frank, you have opened a real can-o-worms here. Cyclists and their weight. Have you seen these guys in real life, they look like shit. As Marcus so aptly put it, Biafrans with a shit tan. That’s funny stuff.
@Marko
I guess you can read into my hostile response…I have not lost weigh.
Timely article!
Is there anything to be said for a happy medium which is not just an excuse for being fat? I am talking about a more well-rounded appearance, perhaps more Boonenesque than Contadorian.
I’m currently sitting at 175cm and 69kg, which I’m fairly satisfied with, but I am bothered that my stomach could be a little flatter. To that end, I have been working on my upper body in the gym. The reasoning behind this approach being that increased muscle mass burns fat more efficiently during exercise, which should help to cut down the visceral fat hiding behind my abs. And besides being preferred by most ladies, a little muscle looks better in the jersey, and more intimidating to other riders, be it moreso in the way of a rouleur than a true grimpeur. Also, I definitely noticed that cessation of alcohol consumption resulted in a marked improvement in my belly-bulge-to-pectoral-protrusion ratio.
The rule of thumb cited by Le-Grimpeur and others concerning cycling weight seems sensible to me: 2.1 – 2.4 lbs per inch of height being optimal, with sub 2.1 being the true grimpeur’s territory. Boonen is around 2.36, and Contador 2.01. Somewhere in the middle of those two would seem to be a sweet spot. My 2.2 looks good on paper, but the ratio of muscle-to-fat is what needs work.
@Mikael Liddy I would love to and thanks for asking, but am unlikely at this stage…
@Velosophe 175cm and 69kg and you are working on your upper body? What are you working on? Its location?
@Marcus
Hah! I suppose so. Ideally a relocation of some ‘equatorial mass’ a bit more northward, along with an increase in strength. Perhaps it will make for a more impressive Millarcopter when the time comes…
@unversio
The black wristband is the secret of his success – although now I have one it doesn’t seem to be working quite as quickly as I’d like
Well, Thor is my height and 79 kgs, so I’ve set that as an arbitrary target weight. I’m more roleur than grimpeur any day… and more slug than roleur…
Climbing weight? Racing weight? Winter weight? Pah. All year long at 66kg, 1.88m – haters gonna hate.
My metabolism is insane (as is everyone’s in the family), and I’ve always been a skeleton. In fact, since I took up cycling some 18 months ago, I bulked up significantly. The extra 4kg are mostly muscle-mass in the legs, but my torso and arms also gained – they are now defined by muscle, rather than bones and the contours of internal organs.
I’ve confessed elsewhere that I’m a Sandwicher, but the extra time spent swimming and running helps to create a more balanced physique – while my shoulders are not Scozzoli’s, they do look slightly more proportional to my quads compared to last year. Cattlebells, while too embarrassing to ever be used publicly, are also a very effective training tool.
Gave the BFGs a fresh coat of paint on my birthday:
There’s nothing better than seeing Peaking Dimples on your quads. 2500m of climbing over three calm, relaxed days, alternating between cycling, eating fine cheeses, and escaping the desert heat into the pool.
You need to be careful of “pecking” pellets from a bowl, this will likely bulk up the neck muscles leading to a neck something in the range of a “Sir Chris Hoy”.
Better to drink a virgins blood through a straw, this I believe was the preferred method of Pharmstrong and his crew. The blood has to be fresh though so you have to be careful not to exert the muscles too much during the struggle!
I’ve been wondering about this for a while, and have been trying to figure out what my ideal climbing weight actually is – and with the exception of @Velosophe and @Tessar, I’m none the wiser as no-one has given their height (real, not Internet) to get an idea of build.
I figure at 183cm and 75-76kg I’m probably not far off at least Rouleur weight, and my build tends to putting muscle on my legs rather than ending up with Wiggo-esque spindles made of steel hawser, so I’m never going to make 2.0 lbs per inch (should be 0.35 kg per cm for rule compliance, surely?) anyway. What degree of emancipation should I be aiming for here?
On a related note, we were entertaining friends last night which involved pie, wine and a filthy chocolate dessert. I had to go outside and birch myself afterwards.
@Fausto
What degree of emancipation should I be aiming for here?
@Fausto
Dur, forgot to do my own typing before submiting. What I meant to say was ‘not sure anyone gets a vote on here’. Certainly not pedantic noobs like me. *shuts up*
Hadn’t spotted that – damn iPhone auto correct!
Emancipation = emaciation
i’m not sure Jan’s jersey in the lead photo actually fits him very well. its bunching round the back and at the waist. The rider behind has similar sized arms, if not smaller, but his jersey fit is better.
@Velo Kitty what does a juice cleanse involve?
Not that anyone has asked but I stand at 183cm and i’m 79kg, which I know isn’t too bad. I was 84kg in January and the difference in riding at those two weights is massive.
However, I’ve somehow convinced myself that 75kg should be my target weight. This isn’t based on any sound principle, the number just sounds right in my head and its probably just about acheivable without having to live like a freak.
I’ll probably still climb badly but seeing that the closest hill that I can ride to is less than 150M I’m not too bothered.
@VelosopheI’ve never heard that one. Mine is 2.2229 currently. If I can keep it there until Keepers Tour I’ll be happy.
@Gianni OMG you catty bitch! ICB U just got all up in my face about losing weight. I thought we were besties. Fatty.*
*: Gianni is not a fatty. He is a tall skinny fucker and will rip my legs off with his magnificent stroke.
@Cyclops Oh, dear!
Not that this has any relation to us normal human folks, but here is some data from the 1997 tour that I think is interesting. No surpirse why Pantani was such a great climber why you look at the BMI figures:
TOUR DE FRANCE RIDERS 1997
height (m.) weight (kg) BMI
Pantini Marco 1.72 56 18.9292
Virenque Richard 1.79 65 20.2865
Leblanc Luc 1.73 62 20.7157
Zulle Alex 1.86 72 20.8117
Riis Bjarne 1.84 71 20.9712
Cipollini Mario 1.90 76 21.0526
Rominger Tony 1.75 65 21.2245
Andreu Frankie 1.88 77 21.7859
Ullrich Jan 1.83 73 21.7982
Jalabert Laurent 1.76 68 21.9525
Boardman Chris 1.75 68 22.2041
Zabel Erik 1.76 69 22.2753
Ekimov Viatcheslav 1.76 69 22.2753
Abdoujaparov Djamolidine 1.74 70 23.1206
Average for 1997 TDF
1.79 68.75 21.4701
original article here: http://www.afpafitness.com/articles/articles-and-newletters/research-articles-index/fitness-assessment/what-is-body-mass-index-bmi-and-what-is-its-practical-application-in-terms-of-endurance-performance/
Anybody else notice the poor tape job on Uli’s bars? It’s wrapped in the same direction on the tops. Compare that to Derhoggz tape over on the Bikes page. Chapeau, Derhoggz, for getting it correct.