Climbing used to be all about disco; in Flanders, it still is.
I’m not a good dancer. I’ve come to this conclusion not through study but through ridicule and injury. Apparently it demands the ability to exhibit control over your limbs in some rhythmic capacity where “rhythmic” is defined both as “not chaotic” and “not stationary”. To make matters worse, this extends to all your limbs, not just one or two; you aren’t allowed to just wave one arm about because that’s all you can concentrate on. Like most men, I function with a two-item queue; I’m not a multitasker. This, I believe, is the reason why women are better dancers than men are.
The seventies is when male dancing went mainstream in the form of “disco”. If you look closely, you will notice that disco moves involve moving no more than two appendages at once; most moves can be done with half that. Convincing women that this is “dancing” is the Male Gender’s most significant accomplishment since Einstein discovered the Theory of Relativity. Male dancing has not evolved since, if the local pub is anything to go from.
Prior to the invention of the compact crank, climbing was good practice for disco dancing: if the gradient was anywhere near respectable, you could ponder long and hard about the one leg that was doing all that pushing right at that moment. Even the climbers like Charly Gaul who were accredited as “spinners” came nowhere close to modern climbers’ cadential sensibilities where cols are gobbled up at 110+ rpm.
For the book signing event we held for The Rules in NYC, @Gianni loaned me his trusted steed, Bella, whom he keeps back on the East Coast. This lovely lady is clad in old school Campa and the gritty 42×23 low gear to go with it. He giggled as he watched me rise out of the saddle to do Le Disco over the stout ramps along the hills of New Jersey.
At the risk of sounding like an old grumpopatamus (the slightly less charming relation to the hippopotamus), climbing for us big blokes used to be about breathing and pushing on the pedals (that’s our two-item queues at capacity) until the eyes went dark, at which point you kept breathing and pushing until you got to the top and went down the other side like you trusted your tires more than you appreciated physics. Now its all about “cadence” and “heart rate” and “wattage” and “not being fat” and probably a few other things that I disagree with that I haven’t even thought of.
Not that I have anything against spinning; I used to be a “spinner”. Back in the 80’s and 90’s, I was always the spinner in the group, riding along at 80 or 90 rpm. These days, I’m the “masher” in the group, riding along at 80 or 90 rpm. This is one more reason why I love Flanders; I’ve never seen a Flandrian spin, unless it was the 53×11. On the one occasion I caught Johan Museeuw riding a compact (testing it, he was), his only remark was that the 50T wasn’t big enough for climbing.
The Flemish riders are all about doing De Vlaamse Disco as they mash a monster gear up some unimaginable cobbled grade. I am given to understand Boonen trains by riding the Koppenberg in the 53. That’s my kind of climbing; more stubborn than brains, more burnt cartilage than knees.
That’s what Merckx invented Advil for.
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@eightace
Yeah, Britain had some great pros with a lot of potential that I feel was never properly realized. Books could be written on why, but McLaughlin, Darryl Webster, Graham Jones, Brian Smith and Obree all come to mind. Whether it was just not clicking with the Euro scene, not wanting to do drugs, not being on the right team, the debate is endless. Lord knows Obree had the talent to do great things; Millar could have been ever better if he hadn't been on shitty French teams who misused him, Jones was huge class and wasted. I knew Obree and Smith, met Webster once and knew of Millar and McLaughlin. All had particularly distinct personalities to put it mildly. Smart and bloody minded might be more accurate. Had ANC Halfords been half as well organized/funded as Sky, Britain could have had a team in the 7-11 mold at least. As it was, ANC was pretty much an omnishambles, particularly in the Tour.
@Ccos
You got that right: taking anything Bez of the Happy Mondays might offer you would be a very big mistake. How fucked up were the Happy Mondays? Watch 24 Hour Party People. Lordy, lordy, lordy, what crazy lads they were.
The lead pic is McLaughlin for sure, but is the Lotto rider Van Hooydonck? He's a big lad, but not tall enough I think. Might have to do some research.
@wiscot
I wonder if the tendonitis had anything to do with what he's attempting in the photo?
@oldensteel
Not to mention the cycling cap and the reminder that Assos used to make team-issue kit.
@Bruce Lee
This whole 1x micro drive thing on the MTBs these days boggles my mind. I'm sure it makes sense somewhere some how but I'll be fucked if I have any clue why.
@Hagueman
Yes yes yes. Its a serious burden, being this dumb.
@tessar
Oh, and there we have it, right on cue.
Back to the good part of your post though, Nys is such an animal. I love his bunny hopping of the barriers. I'm seriously considering learning how to do that, but only because my remount sucks. His remount rules and he still does it just because he's cool
@gilly
I stuck to my 53t today just to prove a point to myself. Its good punishment, if not good common sense.
@Pedale.Forchetta
You make me hate my life a little bit. An Italian Keepers Tour has to happen.
@wiscot
I definitely think so, but I've been wrong before so it could happen again.
@wiscot I'm starting to think its not him now; not sure that team kit makes sense if its him. I've never seen him on anything but a Colnago and I've never seen him with Lotto logos on his kit.
The rider in question must be one of these:
http://www.firstcycling.com/team.php?l=883&hva=normal
@wiscot
Christ, I remember seeing the Mondays supporting fellow Mancunians James in 1988. I was there to see the vegan popsters, and was assaulted by a mess of ecstacy and heroin.
Nine years later, I got back on the bike... at least I was thin
@Pedale.Forchetta
This made me smile. Thank you.