Categories: Accessories and GearDefining MomentsLa Vie VelominatusNostalgia

Defining Moments: Dust Caps

Rollin' Dirty

I genuinely miss the eighties. Funny Bikes, which I say without thinking this though. Then again, time trial bikes today are basically road bikes with a position for tuned for “more speed”. In other words, switching to your TT bike today is like switching from your road bike to a slightly less comfortable road bike, with your arms sticking out. Back in the 80’s and 90’s, switching to your TT bike was roughly the same as swapping out your warmblood for a dragon.

There are many more reasons I miss the 80’s, for the record. Black shorts, off the top of my tiny brain. Also the adorable electrical tape patterns mechanics made over the valve stem hole on disc wheels, for more speed, as generously modelled by little Andy H. Also those Lycra covers on the hairnets they used to wear, also for more speed.

I don’t have to tell you that the shades back then make my heart go pitter-patter. I still have a pair of Factory Pilots/Eye Shades; I also rushed out to the store to buy a pair of Jawbreakers last week, just because they look so old school. Also because they are orange and white and I am a sucker for orange and white.

Everyone has a “shades sponsor” these days, but if you lacked one back then, it was all-in on the sweatband sponsor. “Wow! You make a double-tall sweat-band? These ‘roids make me sweat ‘double-tall’ so…YES PLEASE.”

Then there were the gears and chainsets. The first version of a “compact” was introduced in the 80’s; it was a 52/39, downgraded from the usual 52/42. Which was a downgrade from a 44 which was the smallest chainwheel my 70’s-era Raleigh’s Wiesmann crankset accepted.

But my favorite thing about the 80’s was the missing dust caps on cranksets; Andy doesn’t have one here, and I didn’t have one either. The day I realized I could shed 0.0032 grams by pulling out the dust cap was the day I became a Velominatus.

Fuck Yeah Eighties. Fuck yeah.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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Chris says:

May 26 2015 at 5:19 am

@wilburrox

@Nate

No thread about American cycling in the 80s is complete without this.

What a hoot. The cat’s wearing clogs ffs… My grandfather had a Buick wagon like this minus the stripes we’d load up with hunting and fishing gear and head off to really cool places. Cheers

Was that shortly after America stopped making that sort of car out of wood?
Chris says:

May 26 2015 at 5:20 am

@Chris

@wilburrox

@Nate

No thread about American cycling in the 80s is complete without this.

What a hoot. The cat’s wearing clogs ffs… My grandfather had a Buick wagon like this minus the stripes we’d load up with hunting and fishing gear and head off to really cool places. Cheers

Was that shortly after America stopped making that sort of car out of wood?
Ron says:

May 26 2015 at 5:48 am

Andy looks damn good on a bike! I miss the 80s too, but mainly because I don't get to anticipate the new Guns 'n' Roses album, or the new Public Enemy album, or the Beastie Boys album. And Friday nights aren't the same without putting up with a week of school for the reward of Crockett and Tubbs.

Frank - ahh, the Jawbreakers. Did you go with the Prizm lenses? Curious to see if they can up the awesomeness of their already excellent lens optics. Can't decide which model I'll go with next, intrigued by the M2's and also the Radars are just so damn incredible, hard to move away from them.
Chris says:

May 26 2015 at 6:52 am

@wilburrox

@Nate

No thread about American cycling in the 80s is complete without this.

What a hoot. The cat’s wearing clogs ffs… My grandfather had a Buick wagon like this minus the stripes we’d load up with hunting and fishing gear and head off to really cool places. Cheers

Not only is Cheech Marin wearing clogs but Tommy Chong is looking furtive in the back.
Erik says:

May 26 2015 at 7:40 am

@Nate

@asyax

A fucking Huffy?

Were they once a “serious” bike?

I was so stoked to hear about the 7-11 team when they were announced and equally horrified they were riding “Huffys.” I believe the team bikes were Serottas.

@Fred

the only thing on that bike that was actually made by Huffy was the decal…

According to Rule #57 the Huffy label would be a “sticker” possibly unless you are on a team issue rig.

I might be mistaken, but my faulty memory says that Serotta made the bikes and Huffy printed stickers.
gilly says:

May 26 2015 at 7:41 am

@Ron

Andy looks damn good on a bike! I miss the 80s too, but mainly because I don’t get to anticipate the new Guns ‘n’ Roses album, or the new Public Enemy album, or the Beastie Boys album. And Friday nights aren’t the same without putting up with a week of school for the reward of Crockett and Tubbs.

Frank – ahh, the Jawbreakers. Did you go with the Prizm lenses? Curious to see if they can up the awesomeness of their already excellent lens optics. Can’t decide which model I’ll go with next, intrigued by the M2’s and also the Radars are just so damn incredible, hard to move away from though

Andy just WAS cool on a bike, 80's David Millar. Beasty Boys, Public Enemy AND Guns 'n Roses @Ron, that is some seriously eclectic musical taste you have there.
Chris says:

May 26 2015 at 8:23 am

@gilly

Le Dandy was a thing of the '90s
Nate says:

May 26 2015 at 9:28 am

@Chris

@wilburrox

@Nate

No thread about American cycling in the 80s is complete without this.

What a hoot. The cat’s wearing clogs ffs… My grandfather had a Buick wagon like this minus the stripes we’d load up with hunting and fishing gear and head off to really cool places. Cheers

Was that shortly after America stopped making that sort of car out of wood?

I had an '85 Buick wagon in college. Lots of plastic "wood" trim inside. It had been my moms car; I was always disappointed that she didn't get the Estate trim option, with vinyl "wood" on the sides. '85 was quite possibly the last model year that trim option was available.

It it was a great car, I drove the snot out of it.
DeKerr says:

May 26 2015 at 9:38 am

The batshit awesomeness that exudes from all these photos is beyond measure. I couldn't craft 1000 words for each of these that would do any of them justice. Lo Sceriffo and Le Patron laying down so much V I think my screen is going to melt.

@Ron

... Friday nights aren’t the same without putting up with a week of school for the reward of Crockett and Tubbs.

This. I can hear the theme in my head even now. This.
soxfan04 says:

May 26 2015 at 10:50 am

The dust cap thing went well into the 1990s. My first season as a real road rider was as an American living in Austria in 1994. Helping me put my Specialized Allez (lugged steel frame, a back to the future classic) together after shipping it across the ocean the proprietor of Fahrrad Franz (a former pro mechanic) pried the dust cap off and threw it away (Weg dammit! Gewicht, gewicht!). I did not question. He proceeded to readjust brakes, derailleurs, cables in a flurry that took about 2 minutes and had my bike (previously maintained by me) running like never before. He was the real deal.

That bike still sits in my basement -- collecting dust around the crank bolts.