Categories: Accessories and GearDefining MomentsLa Vie VelominatusNostalgia

Defining Moments: Dust Caps

Rollin' Dirty

I genuinely miss the eighties. Funny Bikes, which I say without thinking this though. Then again, time trial bikes today are basically road bikes with a position for tuned for “more speed”. In other words, switching to your TT bike today is like switching from your road bike to a slightly less comfortable road bike, with your arms sticking out. Back in the 80’s and 90’s, switching to your TT bike was roughly the same as swapping out your warmblood for a dragon.

There are many more reasons I miss the 80’s, for the record. Black shorts, off the top of my tiny brain. Also the adorable electrical tape patterns mechanics made over the valve stem hole on disc wheels, for more speed, as generously modelled by little Andy H. Also those Lycra covers on the hairnets they used to wear, also for more speed.

I don’t have to tell you that the shades back then make my heart go pitter-patter. I still have a pair of Factory Pilots/Eye Shades; I also rushed out to the store to buy a pair of Jawbreakers last week, just because they look so old school. Also because they are orange and white and I am a sucker for orange and white.

Everyone has a “shades sponsor” these days, but if you lacked one back then, it was all-in on the sweatband sponsor. “Wow! You make a double-tall sweat-band? These ‘roids make me sweat ‘double-tall’ so…YES PLEASE.”

Then there were the gears and chainsets. The first version of a “compact” was introduced in the 80’s; it was a 52/39, downgraded from the usual 52/42. Which was a downgrade from a 44 which was the smallest chainwheel my 70’s-era Raleigh’s Wiesmann crankset accepted.

But my favorite thing about the 80’s was the missing dust caps on cranksets; Andy doesn’t have one here, and I didn’t have one either. The day I realized I could shed 0.0032 grams by pulling out the dust cap was the day I became a Velominatus.

Fuck Yeah Eighties. Fuck yeah.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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Chris says:

May 26 2015 at 1:54 pm

@gilly

Certainly wouldn't want to turn it into pedant's corner (note the apostrophe), but who the fuck are we talking about? David Millar (Le Dandy) debuted with Cofidis in 97.

Mengoni in '85. Millar would have been eight.
Teocalli says:

May 26 2015 at 2:19 pm

@Chris

@Teocalli

Non-indexed go faster leaver for the big ring was easier to trim, lighter and used so rarely it didn’t need to be cluttering up the brake lever?

Yeah and the trouble with friction levers is that from the photo they slip.............(refrains from an emoticon).
gilly says:

May 26 2015 at 2:20 pm

@Chris

@gilly

Certainly wouldn’t want to turn it into pedant’s corner (note the apostrophe), but who the fuck are we talking about? David Millar (Le Dandy) debuted with Cofidis in 97.

Mengoni in ’85. Millar would have been eight.

Hampsten of course, hence "80's David Millar." Nice apostrophe though!
wilburrox says:

May 26 2015 at 7:25 pm

Alas I was too clueless to know how much faster I'd have been up the hills had only I'd removed 'em... and yes, that's a metal up your A** Metallica sticker on the seat tube. Operation Ivy on the down tube.
Dean C says:

May 26 2015 at 7:51 pm

@wilburrox

Operation Ivy....now there was some music to go do some crimes to.

Had an old Orange Schwinn Varsity that I saved up for probably a year throwing papers that I am sure still had a dust cap left on there and hope it stripped off or caused a wreck of some horrible kind for the thieves that stole it later that summer.

But on the other side of that coin, that bike was the gateway drug to the point of my life where I happily find myself here.

ride safe everyone....dustcaps or not

Dean
McMaster says:

May 26 2015 at 8:28 pm

@pistard. If memory serves Hampsten's Giro winning "Huffy" was a Landshark frame built by John Slawta.
Oli says:

May 26 2015 at 8:52 pm

@wiscot

@Bruce Lee

Hinault was such a bad-ass, dustcaps or not he was going to beat the living crap out of his 753 frame and anyone who dared to sit on his wheel. Moser, on the other had, knew that the only way to keep up with the Badger was to show up with a set of disc wheels, a swim cap, and drop the 42t chainring off the bike to save weight. Moser’s frame, outweighs Hinaults twice over with all the extra tubing. But both are running bitchin’ cool Campy aero brake levers, so with aerodynamics properly equalized the pair dealt out a drubbing to the rest of the Barrachi Trophy field.

The 80’s ruled.

Moser won the Baracchi Trophy twice – once with Hinault (1984),and once with Hans Henrik Orsted (1985). Both top-flight TT men. Even though this was a bit of a “superstars” type gig, the top names ALWAYS rode with someone of equal value. No-one wanted to be shamed by riding with a sub-par partner.

Moser actually won the Baracchi five times, holding the record for most victories; 1974 with Roy Shuiten, '75 with Gibi Baronchelli, '79 with his arch-nemesis Giuseppe Saronni (!?), this '84 win with Hinault and his final win with Hans-Henrik Oersted in '85.
WarioCipollini says:

May 26 2015 at 10:23 pm

@asyax

No, that's a Landshark painted over to appear "sponsor correct."
tessar says:

May 26 2015 at 11:36 pm

@frank

In other words, switching to your TT bike today is like switching from your road bike to a slightly less comfortable road bike, with your arms sticking out. Back in the 80’s and 90’s, switching to your TT bike was roughly the same as swapping out your warmblood for a dragon.

Dunno. I've ridden an '80s funny bike (complete with Campag disc) and it didn't feel that different from a road-bike of a similar period, just with stupid-low bars. Modern TT bikes place you pretty much over the front wheel and tuck you where you can't steer properly. It's improved in the last few years - more relaxed steering, longer wheelbases make for calmer bikes - but a '00s-era TT bike is a rodeo bull to ride, and unlike the '80s, you don't have a bar to grip.

Now, '80s track funny bikes? That's some insane shit.
RobSandy says:

May 27 2015 at 12:49 am

@Oli

@wiscot

@Bruce Lee

Hinault was such a bad-ass, dustcaps or not he was going to beat the living crap out of his 753 frame and anyone who dared to sit on his wheel.

This. Don't know what it is about Hinault, I've only really seen him on the bike in pictures but I find something compelling and terrifying about him. Guess he's a true badass in a way few are.