Categories: Accessories and GearDefining MomentsLa Vie VelominatusNostalgia

Defining Moments: Dust Caps

Rollin' Dirty

I genuinely miss the eighties. Funny Bikes, which I say without thinking this though. Then again, time trial bikes today are basically road bikes with a position for tuned for “more speed”. In other words, switching to your TT bike today is like switching from your road bike to a slightly less comfortable road bike, with your arms sticking out. Back in the 80’s and 90’s, switching to your TT bike was roughly the same as swapping out your warmblood for a dragon.

There are many more reasons I miss the 80’s, for the record. Black shorts, off the top of my tiny brain. Also the adorable electrical tape patterns mechanics made over the valve stem hole on disc wheels, for more speed, as generously modelled by little Andy H. Also those Lycra covers on the hairnets they used to wear, also for more speed.

I don’t have to tell you that the shades back then make my heart go pitter-patter. I still have a pair of Factory Pilots/Eye Shades; I also rushed out to the store to buy a pair of Jawbreakers last week, just because they look so old school. Also because they are orange and white and I am a sucker for orange and white.

Everyone has a “shades sponsor” these days, but if you lacked one back then, it was all-in on the sweatband sponsor. “Wow! You make a double-tall sweat-band? These ‘roids make me sweat ‘double-tall’ so…YES PLEASE.”

Then there were the gears and chainsets. The first version of a “compact” was introduced in the 80’s; it was a 52/39, downgraded from the usual 52/42. Which was a downgrade from a 44 which was the smallest chainwheel my 70’s-era Raleigh’s Wiesmann crankset accepted.

But my favorite thing about the 80’s was the missing dust caps on cranksets; Andy doesn’t have one here, and I didn’t have one either. The day I realized I could shed 0.0032 grams by pulling out the dust cap was the day I became a Velominatus.

Fuck Yeah Eighties. Fuck yeah.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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frank says:

May 28 2015 at 1:22 pm

@WarioCipollini and others

@asyax

No, that’s a Landshark painted over to appear “sponsor correct.”

Nailed it; lots of the Huffys are reported to be Serottas but Andy's was a Landshark.
frank says:

May 28 2015 at 1:30 pm

@Ron

Nate – ’84 Chevrolet Caprice Classic wagon with a maroon-on-maroon color scheme. Considering I went to a $ private college, I was a top oddball. Mercedes, Range Rovers, Audis…and a big old station wagon. We’d ride around campus 3 in the front seat, three in the middle, a few in the back.

The sad part was when my parents finally got rid of it by donating it to Salvation Army. Every few months I’d see it go by on the road. Argh, seeing it still out there but it was not longer mine, so tough.

Mine was a 1980 Cutlass Cruiser I called "The Brownie". Diesel. Sprayed starter fluid of some kind into what I thought was the carburetor (Diesels don't have those) on cold days to get to ski practice. Could through bikes, skis, whatever into and I was off to the races.

Like the dog in "Mr Bojangles", it just up and died one day and I still mourn for it.
Nate says:

May 28 2015 at 1:42 pm

@frank

@Ron

Nate – ’84 Chevrolet Caprice Classic wagon with a maroon-on-maroon color scheme. Considering I went to a $ private college, I was a top oddball. Mercedes, Range Rovers, Audis…and a big old station wagon. We’d ride around campus 3 in the front seat, three in the middle, a few in the back.

The sad part was when my parents finally got rid of it by donating it to Salvation Army. Every few months I’d see it go by on the road. Argh, seeing it still out there but it was not longer mine, so tough.

Mine was a 1980 Cutlass Cruiser I called “The Brownie”. Diesel. Sprayed starter fluid of some kind into what I thought was the carburetor (Diesels don’t have those) on cold days to get to ski practice. Could through bikes, skis, whatever into and I was off to the races.

Like the dog in “Mr Bojangles”, it just up and died one day and I still mourn for it.

Holy shit. I remember those diesel Oldsmobiles. We had a beige on beige '80 or 81 Cutlass Cruiser wagon (3.8 L gas V6, not an oil burner) before we got the Buick. It had those cool pod shaped sport mirrors GM featured back in the late 70s-early 80s. Those were my favorite feature of that car.
frank says:

May 28 2015 at 4:19 pm

@Nate

This, but hangover brown.

Every care I've own since, barring the car I named the Jolly Green Giant, has been a station wagon or a Landy which is kind of like a station wagon but can go off road like a mutha.
Nate says:

May 28 2015 at 5:08 pm

@frank

@Nate

This, but hangover brown.

Every care I’ve own since, barring the car I named the Jolly Green Giant, has been a station wagon or a Landy which is kind of like a station wagon but can go off road like a mutha.

Yup, that is like the one we had. Beige/beige with brown pinstripes. Sadly, neither of the 80s GM wagons that went thru our family had the faux wood paneling on the sides.

Finally, those mirrors ARE the droids we are looking for. If you follow my meaning.
frank says:

May 30 2015 at 10:43 am

On the subject of the badass Jawbreakers I picked up, I am loving them especially in the Witte jersey with a white helmet.

Unrelated but relevant, black and orange socks are for Fall, Winter, and Spring. Its summer, and its back to white.
tessar says:

May 31 2015 at 5:37 am

@frank

Colour-matched Bonts! Too good.
ryan says:

Jun 1 2015 at 4:17 pm

@Teocalli
I recall seeing a set up like that on Bjarne Riis's rig in the '95 Tour. It seemed then that he must have liked the idea of shifter-hoods only so far. It only caught my attention when I saw him reach for his downtube shifter to drop the chain on the little ring on an ascent. I gather the convenience of shifter-hoods hadn't outweighed the risk of accidental mis-shifts. I'd hate to accidentally put it on the plate as I'm creaky up the Galibier. I'd fall over.
chuckp says:

Jun 1 2015 at 5:05 pm

@Teocalli

Andy Hampsten. Alpe d'Huez. 1992.

@chuckp

No dust caps. F**k yeah!

What’s the story with the left shifter/lever?
chuckp says:

Jun 1 2015 at 5:09 pm

@Teocalli

@Chris

@Teocalli

Non-indexed go faster leaver for the big ring was easier to trim, lighter and used so rarely it didn’t need to be cluttering up the brake lever?

Yeah and the trouble with friction levers is that from the photo they slip………….(refrains from an emoticon).

No problems with my front downtime shifter lever slipping. FWIW, I run full STI on my Felt FC carbon bike but still love being able to "manually" trim my front derailleur when I ride my Hollands.