Flies and dogs, two things that we don’t need on a climb.
I had descended down this street many times, but I had never before ridden up it. I even said hello to the two excited pitbulls on the other side of the driveway gate. I like dogs. I like them until one of them squeezes under the gate and I’m going uphill slowly. Pitbulls aren’t the fastest breed out there but they can haul ass when they have incentive. He was under the fence and closing the distance to me in seconds. Yelling and sprinting uphill; this could be a new speciality in the sport of cycling. I can shout curses, commands and climb at the same time, a skill the professionals never show off. He was right next to my rear wheel yet I escaped. The damage to my heart and nerves may last forever.
There was an older pitbull on our Sunday ride route. It always added a frisson as we approached the slight uphill bend. Sometime he was waiting for us, sometimes not. Luckily by the time I joined the rides he was a little more bark than bite and a watery blast from a bidon backed him off. Then he was down to three legs. Last time I saw him he was relaxing on the side of the road, he picked up his head and watched us ride by, and put his head down again. Score one for the cyclists.
It’s always a climb when some dog needs to chase me.
In New Mexico, on a rural highway, two dogs saw me from a house above the road. The dogs flew down into a deep gulch between the road and the house. I shifted up and started Hornering (must add to lexicon) my ass up the long hill, hoping they couldn’t get through the gulch. Please baby jesus don’t let them get through that gulch. They must have had a well worn path through that gulch as they were quickly coming up my side with only a guardrail between them and me. Again, I had just enough time to get body and bike flying before they got under the guardrail. Fuckers.
The bidon squirting is a good method; it surprises dogs completely. But it’s hard to do when gripping the bars tightly and crushing the pedals whilst cursing at beast. Pulling a bidon out and spraying a dog in the face requires one let a dog get his face in spraying distance and I’m not that guy if I can help it.
Having your legs spinning in a blurred motion might be a deterrent for the close-in dog. It’s harder to bite a blur.
Stopping? Who dares to stop and put the bike between shaved leg and dog? No, I’m not that guy either. If there is nothing to chase, they won’t bother you. Really, what single breed of dog is that? Most nasty dogs can’t believe their luck that you stopped; it nearly takes the fun out of it for them. What, I can just bite you now? So you stop and do not get bitten, dog just sits there and dares you to ride off. It is a standoff, hoping the owner eventually comes out to see why his dog is barking? The owner is at work, he should be home by 5:30pm.
I’m a bad sprinter and a bad climber but when chased I can do both at the same time. Maybe I just need a canine coach. It would produce my best hour record on the track; a slavering German Shepard who can run 40 km/hr for an hour. In some damaged atavistic part of my brain I actually appreciate this seemingly life or death sprint. I don’t enjoy it but I appreciate it. In cave days we had a rock or spear to make sure we made it through the day. Now we have a big chainring and ergo-shifters to assure our survival.
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@roger
I can't figure out what kind of drugged up zombie lets a fucking centipede sit on his dead arm? These things are most horrible to watch move across the floor (our floor!). Even with heads cut off, they just keep moving. Paradise has a small price.
@Mike_P
I think you'll find that's a thing we used to call a "watch" - although its possible (but very unlikely) that he's kept an old festival entry wrist band on.
@Gianni
Scarily I've learned a little about iaido over the years although I'm sadly out of practice. Side draw is all I know and you need both hands so difficult on a bike although not impossible for an experience professional who can put on a cape whilst riding in the bunch.
What would be impossible would be keeping one's hakama out of the chain.
Given the choice I'd go for the Pattern 1908 Cavalry Troopers Sword - ideal on a bike although the law enforcement professionals in civilized countries may not be best pleased.
@Mikael Liddy
What about when you posted a photo of your horrendous bike setup?
@the Engine Yes! Well thought out plan.
I have practised Taekwondo for 21 years now but I also meddled in iaido for 3 months one time before I had to move yet again with the miltary and I have not yet found another instructor.
I LOVED iaido. Had an amazing instructor out near Ft Lewis, WA. Really miss it.
This summer while training on the HHH course in WI I was accosted by a mid-sized farm dog. I saw some movement in the grass to my right, and then the pint-sized bastard was on me. Never seen anything like it. I'm pushing 40 kph while the canine is running sideways trying to latch onto my brand-freaking-new DA carbone composites. Yelling NO or BAD DOG only served to increase his determination. But when he went after my wheels something snapped deep within me, and I uttered a primal Rule #4 roar. The dog abruptly skidded to a halt and disappeared into the grass. I heard laughter and applause behind me from my mates in the paceline.
@gregorio
We need a video, or it didn't happen. ;-) Actually, I think I would have loved to have seen this.
@the Engine
This is a bike watch
Damn, a week away from home and this perennial crops up! This is one of those light the blue touch paper and stand back articles that you bear baters like to circulate from time to time. If I recall last year we had everything from people carrying pepper and anti bear spray to those carrying guns!
The resulting animal love vs animal slaughter posts in the end incited @frank to come out and issue a formal warning on peace love and the human condition.
Here in the UK we are pretty blessed...irresponsible dog owners get bought to heel (forgive the pun I could not resist it) pretty quickly and the end result of a dog bite is inevitably the destruction of the animal...some would consider this unfair or cruel but that is the law and over time the danger of dogs on rides has diminished to probably a few odd localised areas (in my limited experience).
We Brits are dog lovers and so the tendancy has been for people to gravitate to less aggressive breeds so that they don't get the police destroying their hard paid for pets when they misbehave...(excepting ofc drug dealers and ner do wells who buy their breeds as angry as they can find them...but tend not to set them on cyclists because as a community, we are not their target audience and also not really much of a threat to their revenue streams)...
@unversio
I think you'll find that's a stop watch - the gentleman in the picture being accosted by the large feline is using a V meter and therefore has no need of such fripperies. Put it this way - he knows when he's not going fast enough.