Flies and dogs, two things that we don’t need on a climb.
I had descended down this street many times, but I had never before ridden up it. I even said hello to the two excited pitbulls on the other side of the driveway gate. I like dogs. I like them until one of them squeezes under the gate and I’m going uphill slowly. Pitbulls aren’t the fastest breed out there but they can haul ass when they have incentive. He was under the fence and closing the distance to me in seconds. Yelling and sprinting uphill; this could be a new speciality in the sport of cycling. I can shout curses, commands and climb at the same time, a skill the professionals never show off. He was right next to my rear wheel yet I escaped. The damage to my heart and nerves may last forever.
There was an older pitbull on our Sunday ride route. It always added a frisson as we approached the slight uphill bend. Sometime he was waiting for us, sometimes not. Luckily by the time I joined the rides he was a little more bark than bite and a watery blast from a bidon backed him off. Then he was down to three legs. Last time I saw him he was relaxing on the side of the road, he picked up his head and watched us ride by, and put his head down again. Score one for the cyclists.
It’s always a climb when some dog needs to chase me.
In New Mexico, on a rural highway, two dogs saw me from a house above the road. The dogs flew down into a deep gulch between the road and the house. I shifted up and started Hornering (must add to lexicon) my ass up the long hill, hoping they couldn’t get through the gulch. Please baby jesus don’t let them get through that gulch. They must have had a well worn path through that gulch as they were quickly coming up my side with only a guardrail between them and me. Again, I had just enough time to get body and bike flying before they got under the guardrail. Fuckers.
The bidon squirting is a good method; it surprises dogs completely. But it’s hard to do when gripping the bars tightly and crushing the pedals whilst cursing at beast. Pulling a bidon out and spraying a dog in the face requires one let a dog get his face in spraying distance and I’m not that guy if I can help it.
Having your legs spinning in a blurred motion might be a deterrent for the close-in dog. It’s harder to bite a blur.
Stopping? Who dares to stop and put the bike between shaved leg and dog? No, I’m not that guy either. If there is nothing to chase, they won’t bother you. Really, what single breed of dog is that? Most nasty dogs can’t believe their luck that you stopped; it nearly takes the fun out of it for them. What, I can just bite you now? So you stop and do not get bitten, dog just sits there and dares you to ride off. It is a standoff, hoping the owner eventually comes out to see why his dog is barking? The owner is at work, he should be home by 5:30pm.
I’m a bad sprinter and a bad climber but when chased I can do both at the same time. Maybe I just need a canine coach. It would produce my best hour record on the track; a slavering German Shepard who can run 40 km/hr for an hour. In some damaged atavistic part of my brain I actually appreciate this seemingly life or death sprint. I don’t enjoy it but I appreciate it. In cave days we had a rock or spear to make sure we made it through the day. Now we have a big chainring and ergo-shifters to assure our survival.
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
@uptitus
GENIUS. hmmm, must scour fireworks display at Costco around chinese new year. pop-pops.
@Gianni i was in florida & got chased by a pitbull mix of some kind. granted, i was riding a mountain bike down a dirt road & definitely in his territory. i saw i wasn't going fast enough nor did i get enough of a headstart on a sprint to outlast him. i decided to use the biggest thing i could to distance myself from him, the bike. i skidded to a stop, hopped off, put the bike between us. i figured if he gets close enough to lunge at me, i'm gonna swing either end of this f*cker as hard as i can to make contact & redirect his charge. he also came sliding to a stop, then just stood there looking at me, about 10 feet away. i've never had goosebumps as big as that before, & the hair on the back of my neck was standing straight up. i started yelling "go home", & after a few seconds i think he kinda sized up the situation & thought better of it & walked back off into the brush.
another time (after i converted to riding road) i was w/ a pal on a narrow country back road. we go by the little farmhouse w/ a fence. all of a sudden barking commences, & before we realize it we're being chased by a jack russell terrier. i was a few feet ahead of my mate, & i turned around to see how he was doing. the dog had definitely figured out the attack vector & was nipping right at the spinning feet/pedals. they matched speed & in a flash the terrier caught a downward pedalstroke & got pushed under the rear wheel. my friend rolled over him, & the terrier was spit out underneath the bike, flipping ass over teakettle. by this point we both were watching & coasting, since the threat was over. he tumbled maybe three times, righted himself, shook off the dust, barked once, then ran back to his yard. i've never laughed so hard at what could have been a pretty serious crash.
@wiscot Hey, I've got a bell on my bike!
Acutally, I was notcing the size of the mud flap at the end of the front fender...gotta get one my my bike, as winter's coming and I'm in Seattle!
@Gianni
Yeah, brilliant. I bet those little paper snap caps would work well too, as long as they didn't essplode in your jersey pocket.
i turn and ride full speed at the dogs. freaks them out when 85 kilos of angry man on a steel horse charges.
@Nate
Yeah I thought that too. Picture a big flash and a bike wobbling along with just a pair of smoking cycle shoes still in the cleats........
http://www.sounddefense.com/
This just made a appearance K-9 sound defense with bike attachment. Not sure if it will work on a fly. I think I will just work on riding faster.
@VeloVita
Superb
HIlarious article and responses.
@Gianni "Then he was down to three legs" Almost wet myself at that!
Maybe Cipo's zebra suit and frame wasn't marketing at all. He was harnessing nature to ward off dog attacks. It seems the DS was scared too.
Timely, on group ride this weekend a Blue heeler tried to make a dash across the front, thought better, then wanted to do it again! Guy mid pack "Thought I was going to have to bunnyhop it!", me "yeah, that was a bit bigger than a bunny"..