In our continuing guest article series, @eightzero weighs in on the modern cycling jersey. It’s made of some unholy material which has a half-life of fifty years and unless you crash in it, it’s still in your kit drawer.
Yours in Cycling, Gianni
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As the song goes, “we need dirty laundry” so goes the pile of road gear. While the preferred kit is the Sacred Garments of the Velominati, it is also true that said SGs need periodic washing. Nothing is worse (and potentially dangerous to one’s health) than pulling on yesterday’s bibs and jersey. I know the commandment to heed Rule #5 at all times, but staph infections are taking it to the extreme. I suspect even The Keepers would not endorse throwing one’s self to the pavement intentionally to acquire road rash just so we can look like Jens. Since giving the Machine a quick rub down after the ride is a priority, getting the SGs through the laundry often requires a delay.
Thus, most Velominati have a store of various bibs, base layers, gloves, and jerseys. And the latter is what gives me pause. Oh, what to do with those jerseys acquired with stars in my eyes – when those same jerseys and logos were adorned by the True Giants of the Road I so wished to emulate? A certain Texan made buying postage stamps cool, and then I had to have shark week on my TV. My sister-in-law was afflicted by MS, so it was natural that I show my support for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation, and his teeth grinding rides with CSC. And then, I had to look like Floyd. Had to. He was the Guy That Got Screwed. The guy that stood up to the alphabet soup groups. The guy that was going to make a difference and provide the hardmen with fairness.
Yeah, that turned out well.
I do my level best not to think that I have more invested in cycling clothing than I do in Machines. This clothing stuff is expensive. And, even though I now know that USPS was likely defrauded, that THF spent donations on Ty’s legal defense, that I can’t afford cable TV anymore (much less a science-y channel on the premium lineup) that CSC… well… hell, I don’t even know what CSC makes. And of course, Floyd has moved on to something called NASCAR, something I don’t even think of as sport. (I know I am going to catch hell for that, but really, driving in circles isn’t even exercise. What will be next? Olympic bus riding?) But I still have all these perfectly functional cycling kits and jerseys. They will function just fine, but somehow they always seem to find their way to the bottom of the stack, far, far below the SGs. I seek the path of the Velominati, and it is oh so hard to feel the guiding hand of Merckx upon me when resplendent in the wardrobe of… douchebags.
I guess I can be a little philosophical – I did resist the urge to buy Rock Racing’s kit – the most expensive of them all. Sure it looked pretty jazzy – I even met Michael Ball once – but $280 for a jersey? No wonder the dude has more money than, well, the United States. And I just never did get around to a Bahati Foundation jersey. I think my internet connection was down the day Floyd was on that team. My dad does like his Phonak hearing aid I got for him though. So I got that going for me.
So, off I go to eBay again looking for bargains. I see BMC kit prices are way, way up. For now. Sigh. Guess I’ll have to have one. La vie Velominatus.
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View Comments
@minion
Popping prescription pain-pills on an empty stomach is risky, Minion, don't you know that? Those are so obviously Campa hubs on all three wheels...you can tell from the little sweep by the axle, as opposed to the Helium hubs that are very angular.
Whereas the Shamal hub is much like the Record hubs:
Not to mention the rim decals are plainly visible:
Oh, and that's not Team Saeco. That's Mercantone Uno. Saeco was a minor sponsor at that time.
@All
Form follows function... closely. Given two competing and (roughly) equivalent solutions, the true Velominatus will always select the more Casually Deliberate / Look PRO option. I've got a longer contemplation on this topic germinating, what with the recent arrival of the Witte and Winter Kits, along with my new Carnacs. I need to assemble a few photos first.
Man you guys are really posting a lot of stuff here lately! Strong work!
Ah, well, durrr. I misread Der Ron's quote wrong - of course they're Shamals. I was looking at the finish line photos, with Cippo with his arms raised. One looks like a helium hub, the second in the zebra kit looks like a black mavic hub. I was wondering how you got that much detail from those pics.
BTW, Campagnolo, if you're reading this, THOSE FUCKING SHAMALS ARE THE BEST WHEELS EVER MADE AND THE FACT YOU STOPPED MAKING THEM IS THE GREATEST CRIME EVER (in cycling of course)
@frank
Awesome video. Makes me want to ski even more. I need a month vacation where I can ski every day. Definitely will not loose any fitness and it would be so much fun. Next year I am spending Christmas in VT and will be skiing at Catamont and Bolton Valley, not to mention Trapp. Such great nordic centers!
@frank
That would be Mercatone Uno. Typos are acceptable in English, not Italian. And calling it "Mercantone" is what too many Anglos always did.
I used to have a pair of black and celeste Mercatone Uno bib Knickers and matching l/s jersey. I really thought I looked the business in them - whilst riding my red Cannondale CAAD6 frame fitted out with Ultegra. I wince at the thought of that clash now...
I lie - just remembered it was a CAAD4...
@minion
Back to school, little boy. When that picture was taken Mavic didn't even do road wheelsets, let alone Cosmics.
@Marcus
Black and celeste Mercatone Uno bibs? Pics please, as I don't recall any such strip.
@Marko
One of the best reasons to be a Sconnie!!! Now if we could just some snow!
@minion
Naah. I'll get a ton of shit for this but the greatest wheel set I've ever ridden was (and here come the downgrade to VM4): Spinergy Rev-X. Loved those things even if they'd lop off an hand in a crash. Oh, and if you're over 80K they'll collapse under your weight. Skinny guy like me, fuckin' awesome.
@Oli
No pics - I tend not to photograph clothing (at least back then I didn't!). Knicks were blacky/blue color with white panel and yellow/celeste writing.
I love your attention to detail - you would have aced anatomy.