In our continuing guest article series, @eightzero weighs in on the modern cycling jersey. It’s made of some unholy material which has a half-life of fifty years and unless you crash in it, it’s still in your kit drawer.
Yours in Cycling, Gianni
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As the song goes, “we need dirty laundry” so goes the pile of road gear. While the preferred kit is the Sacred Garments of the Velominati, it is also true that said SGs need periodic washing. Nothing is worse (and potentially dangerous to one’s health) than pulling on yesterday’s bibs and jersey. I know the commandment to heed Rule #5 at all times, but staph infections are taking it to the extreme. I suspect even The Keepers would not endorse throwing one’s self to the pavement intentionally to acquire road rash just so we can look like Jens. Since giving the Machine a quick rub down after the ride is a priority, getting the SGs through the laundry often requires a delay.
Thus, most Velominati have a store of various bibs, base layers, gloves, and jerseys. And the latter is what gives me pause. Oh, what to do with those jerseys acquired with stars in my eyes – when those same jerseys and logos were adorned by the True Giants of the Road I so wished to emulate? A certain Texan made buying postage stamps cool, and then I had to have shark week on my TV. My sister-in-law was afflicted by MS, so it was natural that I show my support for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation, and his teeth grinding rides with CSC. And then, I had to look like Floyd. Had to. He was the Guy That Got Screwed. The guy that stood up to the alphabet soup groups. The guy that was going to make a difference and provide the hardmen with fairness.
Yeah, that turned out well.
I do my level best not to think that I have more invested in cycling clothing than I do in Machines. This clothing stuff is expensive. And, even though I now know that USPS was likely defrauded, that THF spent donations on Ty’s legal defense, that I can’t afford cable TV anymore (much less a science-y channel on the premium lineup) that CSC… well… hell, I don’t even know what CSC makes. And of course, Floyd has moved on to something called NASCAR, something I don’t even think of as sport. (I know I am going to catch hell for that, but really, driving in circles isn’t even exercise. What will be next? Olympic bus riding?) But I still have all these perfectly functional cycling kits and jerseys. They will function just fine, but somehow they always seem to find their way to the bottom of the stack, far, far below the SGs. I seek the path of the Velominati, and it is oh so hard to feel the guiding hand of Merckx upon me when resplendent in the wardrobe of… douchebags.
I guess I can be a little philosophical – I did resist the urge to buy Rock Racing’s kit – the most expensive of them all. Sure it looked pretty jazzy – I even met Michael Ball once – but $280 for a jersey? No wonder the dude has more money than, well, the United States. And I just never did get around to a Bahati Foundation jersey. I think my internet connection was down the day Floyd was on that team. My dad does like his Phonak hearing aid I got for him though. So I got that going for me.
So, off I go to eBay again looking for bargains. I see BMC kit prices are way, way up. For now. Sigh. Guess I’ll have to have one. La vie Velominatus.
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View Comments
@ChrisO
Actually, it's a fleece beanie to warm my head in the cool morning air. It may get some more wear time once the Classics roll around while watching TV w/ a Trippel in the glass. What about wearing a pro jersey while off the bike? I would never go take infield or batting practice in a pro jersey, but I might wear it to the game and sit in the bleachers with a cold one. Same could be said for bike gear too, if you were enjoying it as a spectator sport.
Then of course there's this kit:
@scaler911
It was then that the discussion took a strange turn when @scaler911 posted a picture of his parents...
@scaler911
Merckx!!! Are you trying to blind us?
@mouse
@RedRanger
What's funny is we all know that some of those sold. Merckx help them!
@paolo, @Marko
Couldn't agree more. Laying down the V is not something to brag about or use as justification. Its just what we do. Hey, mom! I had a glass of milk today! I ate a banana! We don't brag about these things, we just do them.
Laying down the V is a matter pushing beyond our limits and just a matter of course, not a justification. Going above and beyond in the department, on the hand, is something to be proud of.
@Marko, @eightzero
Back when I lived in Charlotte, NC, I talked about cycling ad nauseum at work, especially during the Tour. That kind of none-stop motormouthing naturally gets people curious and a few started watching the race. One day they walked in and said something to the effect of, "I never realized how much like cycling is like NASCAR, what with all the drafting and whatnot." FUCK. Not sure where you start with that conversation. Its like trying to explain that the world isn't flat.
@scaler911, @ChrisO
I've also used the 10-year clause in the past. If you want to rock the 7-eleven or Motorola kit, nows a good time.
@Eightzero well done! I like your article. A funny thing is that I've always liked pro-jersey but for some reasons I've had just two, the first was the Coors Light in honor of Davis Phinney and the second the Motorola for Fabio Casartelli.
@Souleur
Fucking A-Merckx.
Cipo was a class act. Like RDV, didn't matter how ugly his kit was, it always looked good.
The mane that gave him the moniker Lion King
Old-school leader's jersey with team shorts
And the rest is history...
@Pedale.Forchetta
Fantastic. Just, fantastic. Phinney is a phenomenally nice guy, too; I suspect his son is as well. The memorial on the Aspet is a very touching place.
@Steampunk
A+1 - the V is pushing beyond your limits. If you're doing it all the time, its not The V.