In our continuing guest article series, @eightzero weighs in on the modern cycling jersey. It’s made of some unholy material which has a half-life of fifty years and unless you crash in it, it’s still in your kit drawer.
Yours in Cycling, Gianni
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As the song goes, “we need dirty laundry” so goes the pile of road gear. While the preferred kit is the Sacred Garments of the Velominati, it is also true that said SGs need periodic washing. Nothing is worse (and potentially dangerous to one’s health) than pulling on yesterday’s bibs and jersey. I know the commandment to heed Rule #5 at all times, but staph infections are taking it to the extreme. I suspect even The Keepers would not endorse throwing one’s self to the pavement intentionally to acquire road rash just so we can look like Jens. Since giving the Machine a quick rub down after the ride is a priority, getting the SGs through the laundry often requires a delay.
Thus, most Velominati have a store of various bibs, base layers, gloves, and jerseys. And the latter is what gives me pause. Oh, what to do with those jerseys acquired with stars in my eyes – when those same jerseys and logos were adorned by the True Giants of the Road I so wished to emulate? A certain Texan made buying postage stamps cool, and then I had to have shark week on my TV. My sister-in-law was afflicted by MS, so it was natural that I show my support for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation, and his teeth grinding rides with CSC. And then, I had to look like Floyd. Had to. He was the Guy That Got Screwed. The guy that stood up to the alphabet soup groups. The guy that was going to make a difference and provide the hardmen with fairness.
Yeah, that turned out well.
I do my level best not to think that I have more invested in cycling clothing than I do in Machines. This clothing stuff is expensive. And, even though I now know that USPS was likely defrauded, that THF spent donations on Ty’s legal defense, that I can’t afford cable TV anymore (much less a science-y channel on the premium lineup) that CSC… well… hell, I don’t even know what CSC makes. And of course, Floyd has moved on to something called NASCAR, something I don’t even think of as sport. (I know I am going to catch hell for that, but really, driving in circles isn’t even exercise. What will be next? Olympic bus riding?) But I still have all these perfectly functional cycling kits and jerseys. They will function just fine, but somehow they always seem to find their way to the bottom of the stack, far, far below the SGs. I seek the path of the Velominati, and it is oh so hard to feel the guiding hand of Merckx upon me when resplendent in the wardrobe of… douchebags.
I guess I can be a little philosophical – I did resist the urge to buy Rock Racing’s kit – the most expensive of them all. Sure it looked pretty jazzy – I even met Michael Ball once – but $280 for a jersey? No wonder the dude has more money than, well, the United States. And I just never did get around to a Bahati Foundation jersey. I think my internet connection was down the day Floyd was on that team. My dad does like his Phonak hearing aid I got for him though. So I got that going for me.
So, off I go to eBay again looking for bargains. I see BMC kit prices are way, way up. For now. Sigh. Guess I’ll have to have one. La vie Velominatus.
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Speaking of Nordic skiing, I am completely fascinated by Biathlon. To me it is a lot like cycling- especially mountain bike racing in that you need to be super fit to win- but if you cannot shoot well (descend technically) you will lose. It appears to be a very cerebral/strategic event (how hard you push into the shoots/how fast you shoot).... the more I watch..the more my utmost respect becomes a skibone
@mblume
Imagine doing hill repeats at full tilt and having to stop at the top in the red each time and shoot at a small target. It's all about heart rate and calming the fuck down. Arguably easier to just stay in the red then go in an out of it while having to do something that requires calm.
Nordic skiing is awesome and breeds hardass athletes. I'd be skiing my butt off by now but we're in the middle of a strange winter with virtually no snow. Ugh. Too shitty to ride as there's been enough snow to fuck up the roads and render them unsafe, too cold to melt the shoulders, but not enough to ski on. And fuck if I take up running. Lot's of frustrated people around here.
*than
@mblume, @Marko
Biathlon is awesome; I used to race it for fun when I was fit, and I'd just shoot my gun off my back, do my penalty laps, and still do well; the quality of the skier was (at that time) much lower than the pure racers, and that showed. I think its changed, though. We watched some of the Biathlon events at the last Olympics; we had seats right on the range, very cool to watch. I guess they do Yoga and mentally drop their HR from 160 to 80 or lower to shoot and then move on. Amazing to combine those disciplines.
This is precisely why I left Minnesota.
@mblume
One of the main reasons I am looking into living in Jericho/Underhill area of VT when I leave the military is b/c of the biathlon range/course right near there. I grew up racing nordic in junior high through college and I whole-heartedly second Marko's comments. HARD f@#K'ing sport but now I am stuck in TX pining for the snow.
Someday I will be back in Vermont for good, though and can ski in the winter, ride CX in the spring and fall and ride road as much as possible the rest of the year!
The Herminator's foray into cycling, albeit interesting, wasn't really comparing apples to apples. It'd be more interesting to take a Petter Northug or Bjorn Dahle (highest Vo2 max ever recorded) and put them on a bike just to see what happens. Especially a nordic skier who does consistently well in marathons.
@frank
Don't tell me u ended up in Ballard, home of Minnesotan expats...
@Souleur
I find The Articles and accompaning discussions enjoyable and an important part of my education as a cyclist but more photos of this type will make me an ex-reader, having gouged my eyes out.
@frank
True enough but you moved from the southern part of the state. Hardly Minnesota at all. I live in an entirely different climactic zone. One which is dependably snowy in the winter and pleasant in the summer.
@Marko
I miss the hell out of Twin City summers. Winters not so much.