Hello, could you connect me to Dr. Ferrari please? Or just give me a Ferrari in my bottom bracket.
Marco Pantani had Armstrong on the ropes. It was the Col de Joux Plane in the 2000 Tour de France and the only time Pharmy was in real, genuine difficulty during any of his “seven” Tours. So he did what any reasonable rider would do: he got on the radio with his team boss and demanded he call his coach and renowned doping genius Michele Ferrari to find out precisely how long Pantani could sustain his effort. Ferrari crunched some numbers on his custom Effort Finder-Outer Machine and got back with the good news that Pantani couldn’t hold the pace to the finish.
The problem Batman had with The Joker was that Batman was rational and The Joker was insane. And insane people don’t always do what rational people expect them to do. Like having a plan, for instance. Or wanting to make it to the finish at all. Lance wasn’t Batman – not by a stretch – and Pantani wasn’t insane. But the point is, they weren’t thinking about the race the same way. Armstrong wanted to win the Tour de France but was a stubborn ass who was too proud to let the world’s best climber drop him. Pantani, on the other hand, had already lost everything and been to Hell and back; he had nothing to lose and was more than willing to sacrifice his own Tour if it meant he could fuck with Pharmstrong, even for a bit.
So he rode until the lights went out and climbed into the team car. Ciao. Armstrong was left holding the bag. Or, rather, not holding a mussette with any food in it. Bon jour, Monsieur avec le Hammer. Comment allez vous?
Cyclists have always used whatever dubious means they can find in order to gain an advantage, this is not news. It is only natural in a sport as demanding as this, which is not to say it is by any means excusable. But cheating has been woven into the fabric of our sport since the earliest days; in the first Tours de France several riders were disqualified for getting tows from teammates via cable and jumping on trains to rest the legs and gain a few extra kilometers over their rivals in the process.
When Greg LeMond helped pioneer the use of radios between riders and the team car, I hardly think he imagined his nemesis using the technology to contact the most notorious doping mastermind in the sport in order to gain a mid-race performance update from Italy. I don’t know why that feels so much worse than regular doping. It almost feels like putting a motor in your bottom bracket or something.
Motors? Now we’re getting far-fetched.
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@chris
Was that written by Armstrong?
Lizzie, just fuck off, we've heard it all before, there are NO excuses, you fucked up, take the consequences.
@ChrisO
Try calling someone younger than 30 today and get an answer? Have to text 'em… what they carry might be called a phone but it sure isn't used as a phone. At least in the original sense of what a phone was! That's just mentioned in good fun, but seriously,
Much respect to the hotel staff that told the dude to bugger off. It's their guest and unless instructed otherwise… and
just me, my personal opinion, I'm 100% in support of her and find nothing at all untoward about not sucking up 100% to a process that really friggen sucks in the first place. World champ or not. This process is just rife for bad opportunity. Can you imagine someone could make someone's life just miserable as bad as the process is to begin with: on demand giving up very personal space (its' your blood !!) anytime, anywhere, any circumstance. That's a very heavy price to pay to want to participate in sports at this level.
Any chance she was thinking, "ahhh come on… will they just give me a break already we've done this how many times ?!?!"
I like @EBruner's point having been made.
@brett
Why? At present she hasn't done anything that rule book punishes with a ban of any sort. Two strikes is not out?
Going back to my previous point; how many riders have one or two misses that we never hear about? I'd guess it's lots. If that's the case, this is a non story.
As for the Russians, the current nonsense probably has less to with doping than it does with giving Putin a poke in the eye for being a complete cunt.
Chris, my last thought. Let's just say these are the only occasions she's been unavailable for the surprise test. How much bad luck is that? They turned up once when she was at a hotel with uninformed, uncooperative staff and happened to have turned her phone on to silent. The second time was a cock up on her part but shit, they turned up on THAT day, and then they arrived once again on the day she had a family crises. I suppose I'm asking, is this bad luck, REALLY bad luck, or is she frequently not where she's supposed to be?
@brett
can't see how the tester is taking the fall on this, seems like they went to the location and were unable to take a test, Yates had to take a suspension for an 'admin' error, the only way this stuff can work is if there are NO exceptions, admin, act of god, or personal tragedy doesn't matter, consistency is the key and seems like that is the biggest problem - banning Russian athletes with prior form and not other countries athletes WTF?
LA chose family over work, fair enough, but she needs to bear the consequence of that decision, if she really loved the sport she would do so, this all looks bad, bad, bad, regardless of the truth in the matter.
@chris
Why? Because her attitude to anti-doping is at best casual and at worst dismissive.
Great, she got off on a technicality because British Cycling helped fund her appeal to CAS to overturn a decision which as she points out had already been rejected. I strongly suspect had that been a less-favoured athlete without medal prospects then they wouldn't have had such assistance.
Favouritism to elite athletes by national bodies has been a consistent part of the blight of doping. The whole thing with the Russians is about supported doping from national bodies and state organisations. This sends a message that you'll get help to bend the rules if you're good enough and in the current climate that's a pretty shit message to be giving out.
I'm hoping she doesn't medal now. It will be tarnished if she does and there's no avoiding it.
@piwakawaka
@ChrisO
@Steve Trice
Those are the eloquent ways of saying what I think. Thanks.
@brett
Good to see you're more cognisant of the facts than CAS. Perhaps they should be vetting all potential doping cases through you now?
The rules say no ban until three missed tests confirmed, and one of the missed tests has not been confirmed. Hence, by the rules in place, LA (coincidental initials, wtf!?) is able to continue to ride.
The rest is just blather, bluster and pure speculation.
@Oli
our mission statement.
and LA, too much.
@Oli
It's deja vu all over again.