Categories: Il ProgettoNostalgia

Il Gruppo Progetto: Resurrection of a Pirate

The corollary of Rule #12 is that one focusses the bulk of their energies on upgrading Bike #1 with the result that upgraded gear typically cascades down to Bike #2 and on down through Bike #n. This is The Way of Things; Bike #1 gains the most, but in the end, they all benefit as upgrades trickle through the stable, with the oldest and most worn gear falling from the bottom where they are either discarded or await enough accumulation to justify another build.

There comes a day, however, that we find ourselves needing to inject an upgrade into the hierarchy, an upgrade which disrupts the Natural Order. This was the case when I reluctantly replaced my XL EV2 with my new Soloist frame. My EV2 holds a dear place in my heart. I built her bit by bit, from components scavenged from eBay over the course of an entire winter. She was at my side (under me, actually, if we’re going to pick nit) as I rediscovered La Vie Velominatus. She was built from scratch in homage to one of my all-time favorite cyclists, Pantani, and his elusive 1998 stallion. She was the first bike I owned that fit me the way I wanted. She was the first bike I had with compact geometry, she was the first bike that cleft my heart in two when I crashed during a crit and destroyed the frame. (I quickly replaced hers with another, identical frame, which is the one I have today.)

Suffice it to say, to have her hanging from a nail in my workshop is a dishonor to this beautiful, loyal friend who carried me back to fitness and through some of the greatest ride’s I’ve been on. Never once did she complain that I was too heavy. Never once did she cringe in agony as I pushed harder on the pedals. Never once did she point downhill when the road pointed up. She carried me through the 2003 L’Etape du Tour and up l’Alpe d’Huez on the morning of the stage. She carried me home after bonking in the heat of North Carolina. She guided my rear wheel back to safety as I was slipping to certain death under a passing semi-trailer on a rain-slicked railroad track.

We have been through a lot together; she must be resurrected. But the question is, in what form?

Bikes are meant to be ridden. I have a carbon Bike #1 and a steel Bike #2, both of which are generally ridden in good weather only, although accidents do happen and they do find their way onto wet roads occasionally. I have a sublime Alu Bike #3 which boasts an identical fit to Bike #1 and serves as my rain bike, thereby getting by far the most use. As far as road bikes go; I have the spectrum fairly well covered and I fear that adding another will mean that she lives out her life being overlooked for my daily rides and go largely unridden, a dishonor almost as great as her current state of limbo.

What I don’t have, however, is a commuter bike; a bike to ride to the cafe or farmers market. A bike to hop aboard and pedal to the office. Do I build her into a commuter which gets ridden, if not in the spirit for which she was intended? Or is this a bigger dishonor than not riding her at all? If I do build her into a commuter, do I rider her with drop bars and my old STI shifters, or do I opt for a set of commuter-friendly mustache bars which I’ve fancied ever since I spotted my first Bridgestone X0? Downtube shifters or bar-end shifters? Full funders and wide tires, I think, though how wide is possible on her tight racing geometry?

Or do I build a funeral pire and set her ablaze, allowing her noble soul to return to Merckx on Mount Velomis to be reborn to someone else’s stable?

Fellow Velominati, I submit to your input: how best to honor this noble steed?

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Lee

    I say, take her out on a beautiful Saturday afternoon with the VMH, a bottle of wine in the back pocket of your V-Kit, and find a nice field to relax in and just enjoy the melding of the two loves of your life.

    Excellent opening salvo, Lee. I can't see Frank relaxing in any field and he could be out there with two bikes.

    Frank, this is indeed a great problem you describe. If you are not ready to part with it, and you are wise not to, it should be ridden. It's a great bike and still deserves to be put into a fast corner now and again. Since you already have more beautiful race bikes than I ever will, I could see it being a very light, fast, haul-ass around Phinney Ridge bike. Maybe set up a little like Brett's bike, which I have a considerable amount of carbone for.

    Light wheels, no extra shiet, 10 or 20 speeds, if you need to bring growlers/wine/twat waffles home, chuck 'em in a knapsack. And go by every hipster at 45km/hr.

  • Another FNG her.
    @cyclops and @frank Just to add fuel to the fire, technically it is a track fork end, not a dropout.

  • @Cyclops

    Turn it into a bong.

    Turn it into a milk frother so you can make more wussy Seattle drinks for Cyclops next time he is in town. Poison him with good coffee again.

  • The only thing to do is to let if fly. Somewhere so that it can be used for many more miles to come. Its tough but it must be done!

  • You cannot take a '60's Porsche and use it just to run to the store with.

    It will be a complete injustice to chop-shop this beauty. Use her as a road bike or let her go to someone that will.

    Anything else is an insult to the bike.

  • As for what to do with the bike, it is a difficult choice. But if a bike doesn't fit you any more then it's time to say thanks for the good times and pass it on to a loving new owner. I had to do this with an Italian made Lemond GAN team frame and fork that was just a few mm to low at the front to get the best out of. Broke my heart and I still feel bad but I know I would never have ridden it properly.

  • I think a 52/20 single speed with drop bars and 28's if they'll fit (or 25's) would be suitable. That ratio would be fine for an errand down to the beer store or hill repeats in the hood. Throw a flip flop on there with a fixed 17 or 18 to work on your stroke or lay down some V around Green Lake. The drop bars would not look out of place like 'stache bars would, and you'd ride the bike. You'd still get the feeling of your beloved old steed because you'd actually ride it and it would not begrudge you the re-purposing. All this and you could take solace in the fact that you're not a hipster and not riding a hipster bike.

  • You know, the more I think about this: While I'm a modest 179cm, my son is threatening to be ungodly tall...

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