Categories: Il ProgettoNostalgia

Il Gruppo Progetto: Resurrection of a Pirate

The corollary of Rule #12 is that one focusses the bulk of their energies on upgrading Bike #1 with the result that upgraded gear typically cascades down to Bike #2 and on down through Bike #n. This is The Way of Things; Bike #1 gains the most, but in the end, they all benefit as upgrades trickle through the stable, with the oldest and most worn gear falling from the bottom where they are either discarded or await enough accumulation to justify another build.

There comes a day, however, that we find ourselves needing to inject an upgrade into the hierarchy, an upgrade which disrupts the Natural Order. This was the case when I reluctantly replaced my XL EV2 with my new Soloist frame. My EV2 holds a dear place in my heart. I built her bit by bit, from components scavenged from eBay over the course of an entire winter. She was at my side (under me, actually, if we’re going to pick nit) as I rediscovered La Vie Velominatus. She was built from scratch in homage to one of my all-time favorite cyclists, Pantani, and his elusive 1998 stallion. She was the first bike I owned that fit me the way I wanted. She was the first bike I had with compact geometry, she was the first bike that cleft my heart in two when I crashed during a crit and destroyed the frame. (I quickly replaced hers with another, identical frame, which is the one I have today.)

Suffice it to say, to have her hanging from a nail in my workshop is a dishonor to this beautiful, loyal friend who carried me back to fitness and through some of the greatest ride’s I’ve been on. Never once did she complain that I was too heavy. Never once did she cringe in agony as I pushed harder on the pedals. Never once did she point downhill when the road pointed up. She carried me through the 2003 L’Etape du Tour and up l’Alpe d’Huez on the morning of the stage. She carried me home after bonking in the heat of North Carolina. She guided my rear wheel back to safety as I was slipping to certain death under a passing semi-trailer on a rain-slicked railroad track.

We have been through a lot together; she must be resurrected. But the question is, in what form?

Bikes are meant to be ridden. I have a carbon Bike #1 and a steel Bike #2, both of which are generally ridden in good weather only, although accidents do happen and they do find their way onto wet roads occasionally. I have a sublime Alu Bike #3 which boasts an identical fit to Bike #1 and serves as my rain bike, thereby getting by far the most use. As far as road bikes go; I have the spectrum fairly well covered and I fear that adding another will mean that she lives out her life being overlooked for my daily rides and go largely unridden, a dishonor almost as great as her current state of limbo.

What I don’t have, however, is a commuter bike; a bike to ride to the cafe or farmers market. A bike to hop aboard and pedal to the office. Do I build her into a commuter which gets ridden, if not in the spirit for which she was intended? Or is this a bigger dishonor than not riding her at all? If I do build her into a commuter, do I rider her with drop bars and my old STI shifters, or do I opt for a set of commuter-friendly mustache bars which I’ve fancied ever since I spotted my first Bridgestone X0? Downtube shifters or bar-end shifters? Full funders and wide tires, I think, though how wide is possible on her tight racing geometry?

Or do I build a funeral pire and set her ablaze, allowing her noble soul to return to Merckx on Mount Velomis to be reborn to someone else’s stable?

Fellow Velominati, I submit to your input: how best to honor this noble steed?

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • yup, The travel bike is the best idea yet. this way you have no excuse to not ride when you spend time traveling for work.

  • FWIW, my vote is to make it as original as possible. All components and pieces as near as what the tech was at the time of manufacture. It occupies a specific place in your stable. You don't need another race bike, everyday bike, or trophy. (Heck, the latter is what we have VMHs for...) But classic shiny bits say "I've arrived."

    And if the sacrifice to the prophet is needed, it can be specified in one's will. Read as the sun rises over Mt. Velomis, the whole stable is committed to the fires from which they were forged. We wink, we smile, from Velominotopia, and what is old...is new again.

    Or fuck, just have the VMH put it all up on eBay and spend the proceeds all on blow and orgies with rock stars.

  • @eightzero

    Or fuck, just have the VMH put it all up on eBay and spend the proceeds all on blow and orgies with rock stars.

    So you're saying to pull a Boonen? Great idea!

  • another FNG. being a big believer in fit, I say just sell. the less you ride it, the more its going to hurt when you do ride it (not that any of us are getting older or more creaky...). then you will hate this innocent, beautiful bike. and hurt again the next time you ride it. We all have stuff that just isn't quite right but we can't/won't let go. FWIW.

    Also, I firmly believe the kick-around town bike needs to be something with little attachment- parked bikes get stolen. This sounds too sentimental a bike to wonder if its gonna be there when you exit the store. And then you don't want to take it to public places. then it sits in the garage. Being already at s/s-1, I go thru this algorithm of which bike to take to the store...

  • Hehehehe, how many human gorillas are there on this site over 6 foot a trillion tall? Whoever has the best hard luck story/need/money to buy it off of Fronk at the next cogal, provided it fits.

    That or a fight to the death between overly tall, skinny cyclists with co2 clubs and whips made out of inner tubes, with the bike going to the winner like an ancient concubine.

  • @Buck Rogers

    @eightzero

    Or fuck, just have the VMH put it all up on eBay and spend the proceeds all on blow and orgies with rock stars.

    So you're saying to pull a Boonen? Great idea!

    I say we need to add this to the Lexicon. "Boonenize: throw it all away on booze, blow, and orgies with rock stars and supermodels." Example: "Yeah, I was all Jens on the climb, but when we went over the top, I Boonenized my lead, and finished in the pack."

  • @wiscot
    OK, you're VERY right there. I appologise to everyones opthalmologists for the trauma they'll be dealing with following that NSFL image.

  • @frank

    How about building it up as close as possible to Pantani's bike and keeping it as a Cogal bike? It looks like many more cogals will happen and many velominati might like to pay homage to the Seattle area but be in need of a bike. This would allow you to enjoy the process of building the bike as it was originally used and give others the chance to experience the ride. You'd also be able to ride it now whenever the urge took you.

    Just a thought, I'm not suggesting velominati turn up at your door and demand a bike, some you know well already, it'd obviously be your call.

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