My first bike was a Sears Moonlight Special. It was literally a piece of shit – figuratively. I mean, it would only “literally” be a piece of shit if shit was made of sand-filled steel tubes salvaged from the plumbing of the local sewage facility. Which it might have been, but I simply don’t have the peer-reviewed evidence to back that claim up.

I feel comfortable stating that this bike cost less than $50 USD back in the early 70’s, and it was yellow. It also had a saddle which, upon my personal dissection (Go Science!) was conclusively comprised of a shaped steel plate covered by a thin foam pad and a faux-leather shell. Made in America, fuck yeah. That’s one reason right there that the United States doesn’t have the same over-population problems China does.

After that, I was given my dad’s Raleigh, made of Reynolds 531 tubing which I loved deeply, apart from the exposed brake cables and Weinmann centerpull brakes. I installed some aero brake levers on it and quickly learned the value of owning some proper brake-adjustment tools like the Third Hand. (I’m not sure why a Third Hand is a bicycle-specific innovation; having one more hand feels like a genetically-viable mutation.)

Finally, after a summer of saving up, I bought my own proper racing bicycle, a Cannonwhale SR700 with Shimano 105. In hot pink, for $700. I loved the shit out of that bike, crowning it with every accessory (apart from an EPMS) that one can think of: I couldn’t afford Scott Drop-ins, so I happily accepted my brother’s bar-ends from his Bridgestone as substitutes. I saved up for ages and bought a Selle San Marco Regal and got one step closer to looking like Greg LeMan. Benotto bar tape was a no-brainer at only a few bucks a roll. So Pro, so cheap. And it never wore out and it didn’t matter how bad you were at wapping bars; if you needed four rolls to cover the real-estate (wrapping the brake levers cleanly is the crux), then you were still only out about $10.

It was such a great bike. I rode it in France, Belgium, The Netherlands, not to mention most of the northern United States. I rode with my family, my friends; I rode with my dad the most. In fact, the only time I dumped that beautiful Regal saddle was with him, five minutes into the first ride with that saddle when he decided to change the route and hang a louie when I was overlapping wheels with him. Scraped the leather clean off the right-side of the saddle. No worries, a little super-glue and the saddle lasted me another 10 years.

I lost and found my way back into Cycling two or three times during the lifetime of that $700 bike. If I was the man I am today, I’d have kept it, too. I still have many of the parts, but I dumped the frame because it’s too big for me, and I didn’t realize how much it would mean to me today. We all walk the path of La Vie Velominatus in steps; it is only natural to wander off the path from time to time.

My #1 is worth something like $10k, maybe more, maybe less. Which in any case is a stupid amount of money for a bicycle. My Nine Bike is the hand-me-down, worth a bit less but in practical terms, almost the same. An entry-level bike, like my ‘Wale SR700 would cost a few thousand dollars today, well out of reach of a young Velominatus hoping to get into the sport.

Cycling is supposed to be the accessible sport, the sport of The People. What happened?

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @wiscot

    On the gloves: in my repair kit that I take with me on rides, I have a couple of surgeon gloves (not sterile) that I can use if my chain gets off or some even worse dirty repairs are called for. White bartape, white jersey, looking fantastic and all that.

  • @KogaLover

    @wiscot

    On the gloves: in my repair kit that I take with me on rides, I have a couple of surgeon gloves (not sterile) that I can use if my chain gets off or some even worse dirty repairs are called for. White bartape, white jersey, looking fantastic and all that.

    That's f**king brilliant!

  • @chuckp

    @antihero

    @KogaLover

    @chuckp

    4. I am lost what carbon rims I should look for (since I weigh 85kgs)

    re: 4.  Waste of money unless you’re racing and are competitive in  Cat 1/2.  Don’t bother.  At your weight, a set of Golden Tickets is the way to go, and they handle better than any deep rim ever will.

    I agree. Unless you just have money to burn and have to have eye candy. I can’t believe how many non-racers I see riding fancy, deep dish carbon rims that had to set them back some serious $$$. OK, I get the whole Sky marginal gains thing. But there is such a thing as diminishing marginal return … especially when a set of wheels can cost as much, if not more, than a frame. And other than TTing or being at the pointy end of the pack, not clear to me how much of an advantage aero wheels (or aero anything) when you’re in the back and have the benefit of the draft. When I built my Felt FC I toyed with the idea of deep (50mm is probably as deep as I would want as I’m a light, skinny guy) dish carbon rims, but even a wife in the bike biz my bank account couldn’t afford/justify them. Instead, I opted for Shimano RS81 C35s as a set of all-arounder wheels. Alloy braking surface but carbon fairing so kind of the best of all worlds. 35mm so semi-deep with some aero but not going to get blown all over the road in crosswinds. Not heavy, but not light either. But have been relatively bulletproof wheels that suit my riding. And any deficiencies in my riding can be chalked up to me, not my wheels or any of my other equipment.

    [ Dr. Ian Malcolm voice ] “Greater equipment inversely translates into greater confidence. In some cases sadly. If there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us it's that cycling will not be contained. Ciclismo breaks free, it expands to new territories and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously, but, uh... well, there it is. I'm, I'm simply saying that cycling, uh... finds a way.”

    “Myself, I’m an OpenPro man.”

  • @antihero

    Waste of money unless you’re racing and are competitive in  Cat 1/2.  Don’t bother.  At your weight, a set of Golden Tickets is the way to go, and they handle better than any deep rim ever will.

    working on building GP4, GL 330, Victory Strada tubular wheelsets

  • @universo

    @antihero

    Waste of money unless you’re racing and are competitive in  Cat 1/2.  Don’t bother.  At your weight, a set of Golden Tickets is the way to go, and they handle better than any deep rim ever will.

    working on building GP4, GL 330, Victory Strada tubular wheelsets

    Back in the day, I trained on Mavic GL 330s and raced on GEL 280s -- both that I built. I loved building wheels. Once you learn, pretty "simple" and a perfect way to pass a cold, rainy winter afternoon indoors.

  • @LawnCzar

    My first first bike was a Murray BMX that I got for Christmas when I was seven… I was completely underwhelmed. It was too big, I tipped on the training wheels, etc. It wasn’t until maybe a year later that I got myself going on a friend’s bike and felt this weird sensation, like flying. I rode up and down our street for hours that evening. I remember being in school and fantasizing about opening the garage to get my bike as soon as I got home.

    Years later, my uncle took me to see a stage of the Tour Du Pont (Steve Bauer pipped Davis Phinney at the line) and I immediately sold my Nintendo and started saving my allowance (and lunch money, shhh) to buy a bike. I got a 200 pound Raleigh made of pig iron for $100, took off the “safety” brakes, pie plate, and reflectors, added clips and straps, and got riding.

    A year or so later, I saved up some more, sold that bike to a friend, and got myself a used Nishiki Prestige. That was my first “proper” bike. I still have the frame, which I’m in the process of stripping and repainting. At some point I need to get it back on the road, six-speed cassette and all.

    As others have mentioned, affording a bike — and gear — was difficult. My family had very little money. The funny thing is that, not knowing anything about cycling initially, it was fairly easy to just get a bike and get riding. It’s once you know what you’re on about, and once you start getting social pressure to have a better bike, have nicer kit, that things get harder. I recall getting some attitude on rides and at races because my Nishiki was old, not nice enough. That’s an aspect where I don’t think our sport does itself any favors, at least not in the States.

    Here's another guy who took a lot of shit for not having nice enough gear. The best response is not to give two flying fucks what other people think and go about your way. Of all Rule Violations, Rule #43 is the worst.

  • @chuckp

    @antihero

    @KogaLover

    @chuckp

    4. I am lost what carbon rims I should look for (since I weigh 85kgs)

    re: 4.  Waste of money unless you’re racing and are competitive in  Cat 1/2.  Don’t bother.  At your weight, a set of Golden Tickets is the way to go, and they handle better than any deep rim ever will.

    I agree. Unless you just have money to burn and have to have eye candy. I can’t believe how many non-racers I see riding fancy, deep dish carbon rims that had to set them back some serious $$$. OK, I get the whole Sky marginal gains thing. But there is such a thing as diminishing marginal return … especially when a set of wheels can cost as much, if not more, than a frame. And other than TTing or being at the pointy end of the pack, not clear to me how much of an advantage aero wheels (or aero anything) when you’re in the back and have the benefit of the draft. When I built my Felt FC I toyed with the idea of deep (50mm is probably as deep as I would want as I’m a light, skinny guy) dish carbon rims, but even a wife in the bike biz my bank account couldn’t afford/justify them. Instead, I opted for Shimano RS81 C35s as a set of all-arounder wheels. Alloy braking surface but carbon fairing so kind of the best of all worlds. 35mm so semi-deep with some aero but not going to get blown all over the road in crosswinds. Not heavy, but not light either. But have been relatively bulletproof wheels that suit my riding. And any deficiencies in my riding can be chalked up to me, not my wheels or any of my other equipment.

    Eddy Merckx:

    Don't buy upgrades. Ride up grades.

  • @frank

    Eddy Merckx:

    Don’t buy upgrades. Ride up grades.

    That's why my "upgrade" carbon bike is still pretty "basic" in the grand scheme of things. With nearly identical geometry to my Hollands, it's essentially a carbon version of my steelie. I will admit, however, that I did want a set of wheels that was a little bit out of the ordinary without going all bling.

  • @frank

    @LawnCzar

    My first first bike was a Murray BMX that I got for Christmas when I was seven… I was completely underwhelmed. It was too big, I tipped on the training wheels, etc. It wasn’t until maybe a year later that I got myself going on a friend’s bike and felt this weird sensation, like flying. I rode up and down our street for hours that evening. I remember being in school and fantasizing about opening the garage to get my bike as soon as I got home.

    Years later, my uncle took me to see a stage of the Tour Du Pont (Steve Bauer pipped Davis Phinney at the line) and I immediately sold my Nintendo and started saving my allowance (and lunch money, shhh) to buy a bike. I got a 200 pound Raleigh made of pig iron for $100, took off the “safety” brakes, pie plate, and reflectors, added clips and straps, and got riding.

    A year or so later, I saved up some more, sold that bike to a friend, and got myself a used Nishiki Prestige. That was my first “proper” bike. I still have the frame, which I’m in the process of stripping and repainting. At some point I need to get it back on the road, six-speed cassette and all.

    As others have mentioned, affording a bike — and gear — was difficult. My family had very little money. The funny thing is that, not knowing anything about cycling initially, it was fairly easy to just get a bike and get riding. It’s once you know what you’re on about, and once you start getting social pressure to have a better bike, have nicer kit, that things get harder. I recall getting some attitude on rides and at races because my Nishiki was old, not nice enough. That’s an aspect where I don’t think our sport does itself any favors, at least not in the States.

    Here’s another guy who took a lot of shit for not having nice enough gear. The best response is not to give two flying fucks what other people think and go about your way. Of all Rule Violations, Rule #43 is the worst.

    I remember when Obree debuted the original tuck position in the 80s. (I was one of the poor suckers he thrashed on a very regular basis). Piece for piece, the bike was pretty standard stuff. Steel frame, alloy bars, ok wheels. What wasn't standard was the guy riding it - both physically and mentally. In those areas he excelled. Give Sagan a $1500 bike and he'll win; give joe blow a $10K bike and he still won't win. It's not all about the bike (to use a phrase of questionable provenance.)

    BTW that's some awesome casually deliberate from Obree in that pic. Hard to do in Ayrshire.

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