Categories: Accessories and GearNostalgiaReverenceThe Bikes

La Bicyclette

I love the shape of it. Aroma of it. The way it feels to be around it. It will catch my eye from across the way; I will be powerless to resist taking in its form and perhaps allow my hand to graze its surface. The source of such beauty and harmony, it is a fountain of unspeakable happiness.

It offers me companionship when I need it, solitude when I want to be alone. It distracts me when I’m trying to focus and focuses me when I am trying not to be distracted. It inspires me to take chances, and reminds me to be patient.

It breaks me down when I’m overconfident, it builds me up when I’m insecure. It brings me pain to remind me I should become a stronger man.

I love it when it’s flawless, but I love it more when it shows signs of wear; our time together has changed us both indelibly for the better.

It is no wonder the French and Italians refer to the bicycle in the feminine form, for all these things embody what it means to be a strong woman.

Women are made to be loved, not understood. -Oscar Wilde

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next Gianni's Carbon Ball: Sir Twiggo »

Previous « International Cogal: Festum Prophetae

View Comments

minion says:

May 30 2012 at 1:02 am

@brett
The one in the very first post, that was discussed for, oh I dunno, about the first two pages. The one about how Jabba the hutt's boyfriend would rather pash his car than her.

@Oli

Totally. Keep your powder dry and your caps lowered.
the Engine says:

May 30 2012 at 1:02 am

@eightzero

@the Engine

This is my bike. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My bike is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
My bike, without me, is useless. Without my bike, I am useless.

You remind me of @PrivateJoker

I'm in a world of shit... yes. But I am alive. And I am not afraid.
brett says:

May 30 2012 at 1:04 am

@minion

Didn't see it... I'll go have a look now.
brett says:

May 30 2012 at 1:08 am

Right... guy's got two big problems I can see there.
936adl says:

May 30 2012 at 2:16 am

Is it just me, or is @Frank's seatopost quite ludicrously high? Great look though.
zalamanda says:

May 30 2012 at 2:28 am

@sthilzy

You do that aswell It also shows I don't have issues although my VMH, would definitely disagree. She has no problem asking me to fix her bike, yet when I suggest she glue my tubs on for me... not only does she refuse-the nerve-she looks at me with a blank expression, as though I'm an idiot. I can't see what the problem is.
girl says:

May 30 2012 at 2:46 am

@scaler911
Obviously the photo doesn't do it justice. So special you'll have to give it a name.
Chris says:

May 30 2012 at 4:58 am

@Oli

@ChrisO
I love bicycles and bicycling: I could (and do!) stare at my bikes for hours, admiring their lines and the way the light catches the paint or chrome just so, but I love to ride too, and that state where what bike you're riding fades into utter irrelevance as you are transported along by your own leg and lung power, feeling nothing but the road, the air and the sheer exuberant physicality of riding.

I could stare at @Oli's bike for hours
Marko says:

May 30 2012 at 5:03 am

@Tobin
Oh boy is that ever a beaut. Nice choice. I've been thinking a lot about the new Gran Fondo lately as a replacement for the SLT01. Which doesn't need to be replaced.

@Marcus - I hope nobody else rides your bikes. At least your #1.It's one thing for them to collect dust in the shop and another altogether for someone else to ride them.

There are two kinds of blemishes on bikes. The wear and tear kind and the oh shit kind. The oh shit kind are really hard to accept.
Chris says:

May 30 2012 at 5:09 am

@wiscot

I think one of the things that really ties us to our machines is that they are all - to a great extent - customized. Many may have begun "of the rack" but have been tweaked, upgraded, and most importantly, set up to fit just one person. This isn't just shifting a seat forwards or backwards and adjusting a rear view mirror, these are the mechanical equivalent of a custom-made suit. It fits only one person and no-one else. If someone messed wih our bkes, we would know it instantly.Most of us could, if pressed, give a component-by-component breakdown of each of our rides. We feel close to our machines because they reflect us to an incredible degree - our likes, preferences, body geometry, financial status, and level of commitment.Collin is spot on and the guy who loves his car does so because it can't tell him how it really feels about that bumfluff thing on his upper lip.

So true, our bicycles become an extension of us which is why it's so easy to fall into the Cult of the Upgrade.

@ChrisO I know you're a big fan of Brooks saddles but are your bikes pretty much stock apart from that? does the fact that you see them as tools rather than obsess over them keep the upgrading to a minimum?