Categories: Accessories and GearNostalgiaReverenceThe Bikes

La Bicyclette

I love the shape of it. Aroma of it. The way it feels to be around it. It will catch my eye from across the way; I will be powerless to resist taking in its form and perhaps allow my hand to graze its surface. The source of such beauty and harmony, it is a fountain of unspeakable happiness.

It offers me companionship when I need it, solitude when I want to be alone. It distracts me when I’m trying to focus and focuses me when I am trying not to be distracted. It inspires me to take chances, and reminds me to be patient.

It breaks me down when I’m overconfident, it builds me up when I’m insecure. It brings me pain to remind me I should become a stronger man.

I love it when it’s flawless, but I love it more when it shows signs of wear; our time together has changed us both indelibly for the better.

It is no wonder the French and Italians refer to the bicycle in the feminine form, for all these things embody what it means to be a strong woman.

Women are made to be loved, not understood. -Oscar Wilde

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

sthilzy says:

May 29 2012 at 4:35 pm

@Oli

@ChrisO
I love bicycles and bicycling: I could (and do!) stare at my bikes for hours, admiring their lines and the way the light catches the paint or chrome just so, but I love to ride too, and that state where what bike you're riding fades into utter irrelevance as you are transported along by your own leg and lung power, feeling nothing but the road, the air and the sheer exuberant physicality of riding.

Ditto!
frank says:

May 29 2012 at 4:49 pm

@Oli
It just depends on which side of the bike you're looking from, and which crank you use as a point of reference. So long as its +/- 30 degrees in one of the quadrants, (which mine are) its all good.

Point is, take care to make 'er look purdy.

@sthilzy
You can't unsee that shit.
gaswepass says:

May 29 2012 at 4:57 pm

@frank

@scaler911

Oh, and top post Frank. If I catch you in your shop nekkid while I'm up there in a couple weeks, I'm flying Marcus out for an intervention.

When Marcus lands for the intervention, he is really going to laugh at you after I've shaved your eyebrows and sharpied a penis on your forehead.

There are so many things wrong here i just dont know where to start. Frank, just take it easy on scaler... He's only trying to help you. Just make sure the animals are locked up before marcus shows up.
DR5150 says:

May 29 2012 at 5:38 pm

Thanks Merckx I'm not the only one with issues. Will often feel tyre pressure, press brakes, just stare at it when I pass it in the garage. VHM thinks I have issues, but clearly not.
DR5150 says:

May 29 2012 at 5:42 pm

ooops, should read VMH, first time long time.
sthilzy says:

May 29 2012 at 5:54 pm

@DR5150

Thanks Merckx I'm not the only one with issues. Will often feel tyre pressure, press brakes, just stare at it when I pass it in the garage. VHM thinks I have issues, but clearly not.

Yep, most times when passing La Bicyclette just give the tyres a 'flick' test for testing the 'ping-i-ness' of pressure.
If I end up squeezing a lever, I always have to lift the bike to check it's weight. One lift with bidons, another lift with bidons removed.
I've enjoyed doing that for over two decades. No issues here!
Oli says:

May 29 2012 at 6:23 pm

@frank
Sweet as. I take this then that crank placement is entirely at one's discretion, and that 30 degrees can either be entirely ignored or be referenced from any spatial aspect that one chooses. As most cranks look good inherently it makes sense that it doesn't matter at all how they are placed in photos.
brett says:

May 29 2012 at 6:32 pm

@ChrisO

@brett

I don't think it would make a difference TBH - as I said, I appreciate the beauty of certain design. My Ridley is a beautiful fast thing, my Colnago Master is a beautiful classic thing and my Roberts is a beautiful handmade thing. I sometimes look at other bikes and think how beautiful they are.

But do I love it/them ? I love what it allows me to do and I love some of the experiences I have on it. But the experiences are mine and I have them on it, not with it, and I could probably have them with another 'it'.

I love cycling, not bikes.

Man, you're really weird! Do you love being married, but not your wife?

A bike is a thing of physical beauty as well as a means to an end; Just as I love certain parts of a woman's body, I love certain parts of my bike(s). The area around the fork crown/downtube is particularly attractive to me, just as a woman's hips/abdomen are as well. A hollow section rim is akin to slender thighs, and the saddle, well I think you know where I'm going.
brett says:

May 29 2012 at 6:41 pm

@frank

Shoddy work on the photo bro; the cranks are in a bad position. Either line the non-drive crank up with the seat stay or the seat tube. Put 'er in the dog. Line up those valve stems at the bottom of the rim. Click. Only takes a few seconds.

I expect better from you sir.
Oli says:

May 29 2012 at 6:41 pm

@brett
You're saying you love PENIS!