I love the shape of it. Aroma of it. The way it feels to be around it. It will catch my eye from across the way; I will be powerless to resist taking in its form and perhaps allow my hand to graze its surface. The source of such beauty and harmony, it is a fountain of unspeakable happiness.

It offers me companionship when I need it, solitude when I want to be alone. It distracts me when I’m trying to focus and focuses me when I am trying not to be distracted. It inspires me to take chances, and reminds me to be patient.

It breaks me down when I’m overconfident, it builds me up when I’m insecure. It brings me pain to remind me I should become a stronger man.

I love it when it’s flawless, but I love it more when it shows signs of wear; our time together has changed us both indelibly for the better.

It is no wonder the French and Italians refer to the bicycle in the feminine form, for all these things embody what it means to be a strong woman.

Women are made to be loved, not understood. -Oscar Wilde

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Oli
    Alright Oli, heres a technical question for ya: those old mavic cosmic pros, with the bluish cast tubulars- are they1) bombproof and 2) easy to change to campy from shimano freehub?

  • @gaswepass
    I haven't really dealt with any since the 90s, so I can't comment on the durability (is it a bad sign that there aren't many around still?), and I never had to convert any to Campag so I can't help there either, sorry! Certainly replacing freehubs on Mavic hubs since the Ksyrium came out is easy, but prior to that I couldn't tell you without taking it apart or looking at a manual, I'm afraid.

  • As a Velomibachelor living in a Velomibachelor pad my bikes live in the living room. I actually have it arranged so there is empty wall space for them to lean against. I'm pretty sure that's love.

  • @brett

    I could sit and stare at my bike for hours.

    I saw a photo recently of your Merckx, same colors with Zipp 404s (or some deep carbone wheels) and it looked so awesome. I'm thinking you need some of those.

    @thelastkilometer
    You Rule! Many thanks for posting those photos on the site. Excellent.

    @the Engine

    This is my bike. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
    My bike is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
    My bike, without me, is useless. Without my bike, I am useless.

    +1 Keep it up.

  • If you're going to buy a new bike, wait for a day when you're in a bad mood.

    Why waste such a mood booster on a day that's already good?

  • @brett

    @ChrisO

    @brett

    I love cycling, not bikes.

    Man, you're really weird! Do you love being married, but not your wife?

    Just as I love certain parts of a woman's body, I love certain parts of my bike(s). The area around the fork crown/downtube is particularly attractive to me, just as a woman's hips/abdomen are as well. A hollow section rim is akin to slender thighs, and the saddle, well I think you know where I'm going.

    Dear Penthouse, I never though this would happen to me in real life, but my name's Bretto and I've got a story to share...

    Seriously, did you watch that Video and think of all the things right with it?

  • Interesting to note, Frank, that the words you write are similar to what many musicians think of their prized guitars. If I'm having a shitty day, I'll pick up my guitar and just play without putting too much thought into what I'm playing. Just play. After a while, being lost in the music, all my stress and anxiety has faded away. Very similar to what happens on the bike.

  • I'm so stoked. I picked up #3 today! It's looking to be #1 as soon as I get my Velominati Sticker Pack.
    Whadya think guys (and girl)?

    Crappy photo cause I'm soooo excited I was shaking.

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