I love the shape of it. Aroma of it. The way it feels to be around it. It will catch my eye from across the way; I will be powerless to resist taking in its form and perhaps allow my hand to graze its surface. The source of such beauty and harmony, it is a fountain of unspeakable happiness.

It offers me companionship when I need it, solitude when I want to be alone. It distracts me when I’m trying to focus and focuses me when I am trying not to be distracted. It inspires me to take chances, and reminds me to be patient.

It breaks me down when I’m overconfident, it builds me up when I’m insecure. It brings me pain to remind me I should become a stronger man.

I love it when it’s flawless, but I love it more when it shows signs of wear; our time together has changed us both indelibly for the better.

It is no wonder the French and Italians refer to the bicycle in the feminine form, for all these things embody what it means to be a strong woman.

Women are made to be loved, not understood. -Oscar Wilde

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @brett

    @ChrisO


    @brett
    I don't think it would make a difference TBH - as I said, I appreciate the beauty of certain design. My Ridley is a beautiful fast thing, my Colnago Master is a beautiful classic thing and my Roberts is a beautiful handmade thing. I sometimes look at other bikes and think how beautiful they are.
    But do I love it/them ? I love what it allows me to do and I love some of the experiences I have on it. But the experiences are mine and I have them on it, not with it, and I could probably have them with another 'it'.
    I love cycling, not bikes.

    Man, you're really weird! Do you love being married, but not your wife?
    A bike is a thing of physical beauty as well as a means to an end; Just as I love certain parts of a woman's body, I love certain parts of my bike(s). The area around the fork crown/downtube is particularly attractive to me, just as a woman's hips/abdomen are as well. A hollow section rim is akin to slender thighs, and the saddle, well I think you know where I'm going.

    If my bike was like my wife, just as soon as I bought it, it would have stopped letting me ride it so much. And riding on the bars would have been forbidden.

  • @frank

    @graham d.m.

    Well done! I've only found/joined this community recently. But I'm glad I did for moments like these posts. It helps me feel less insane as I realize there are others out there who have crazy love affairs with their bikes. What a cool place this is!

    Thanks mate. Yeah, we're the opposite of AA for cyclists; we're like a full-on enablement circle. Though in fairness, we recently suggested to @Ron that he actually sell one of his bikes.

    Ahhhh! Sorry, I've been out riding since the Giro ended, trying to keep myself busy.

    I got the VMH out on the bike in question over the weekend. I'd been trying to get her to ride it for awhile. Alas, she had been happy to have just one bike. But she's come around to having one do-it-all bike & one nice road bike. (we're very similar in size)

    So, it'll stay within the family. Super cool since now I don't have to part with it. Sorry to bother ya with that, but thanks for the feedback, Frank, 'squeak and others.

  • @Marcus

    @brett

    @ChrisO

    @brett
    I don't think it would make a difference TBH - as I said, I appreciate the beauty of certain design. My Ridley is a beautiful fast thing, my Colnago Master is a beautiful classic thing and my Roberts is a beautiful handmade thing. I sometimes look at other bikes and think how beautiful they are.
    But do I love it/them ? I love what it allows me to do and I love some of the experiences I have on it. But the experiences are mine and I have them on it, not with it, and I could probably have them with another 'it'.
    I love cycling, not bikes.

    Man, you're really weird! Do you love being married, but not your wife?
    A bike is a thing of physical beauty as well as a means to an end; Just as I love certain parts of a woman's body, I love certain parts of my bike(s). The area around the fork crown/downtube is particularly attractive to me, just as a woman's hips/abdomen are as well. A hollow section rim is akin to slender thighs, and the saddle, well I think you know where I'm going.

    If my bike was like my wife, just as soon as I bought it, it would have stopped letting me ride it so much. And riding on the bars would have been forbidden.

    WOAH! I get married on 6/17, a pretty important day. You're saying no more riding on the bars...

  • @Ron
    Be under no illusion - your life as you know it is about to end.

    Thinking of cycling and early days of marriage, one of my more embarrassing moments happened in 1997, not long after being married - I only realised my stupidity much later. My bike was sitting in the hallway - a Giant Peloton with Shimano 105 complete with aerobar extensions. A friend of a friend was over and asked me if I was a bike rider. I sniffed, "yeah I ride, but I am a triathlete."

    She then very nicely says that here family is into cycling, her brothers and dad race, they do the Hell Ride etc etc. I pretty much didn't listen because she wasn't talking about triathlon.

    In 2000, that girl's brother won Stage 7 of the Giro... Not the first or last time I have been an ignorant douche. Right Minion?

  • Marcus - I've been told that, but I have managed to defy many odds to date. I guess this could be the toughest test though? We shall see. I don't doubt it, but I am still bravely optimistic.

    Well, at least we're going out with a bang. This past weekend was a holiday, so I got my Belgian, French, and Italian cousins out for a backyard bbq & party. In terms of life being simple, life being complex, marriage changing things - well, I feel fortunate to have such nice bikes and have the time to ride them. Here goes nothin'!

  • @versio

    @Jamie
    What size shoe? I have a bargain if interested "” Giro Prolight SLX Black 44? I need a 44.5.

    Nice shoes and I'm generally 44 (UK 9). If @Jamie passes, how much?

  • While some here mentioned the smell of bikes, its the smell in bike shops that gets me, rubber, polish, grease, leather, dreams.
    Even crappy bike shops smell good.

  • @Oli

    @brett
    You're saying you love PENIS!

    I don't know what sort of women you're hanging out with bro, but mine are sans member!

    @minion

    What video?

    @Gianni

    Zipps would have to be one of the least sexy wheels IMO, and not at all suitable for my bike. I've never been a fan of deep section wheels, give me low profile box sections any day.

    Or some of these...

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