La Bicyclette

I love the shape of it. Aroma of it. The way it feels to be around it. It will catch my eye from across the way; I will be powerless to resist taking in its form and perhaps allow my hand to graze its surface. The source of such beauty and harmony, it is a fountain of unspeakable happiness.

It offers me companionship when I need it, solitude when I want to be alone. It distracts me when I’m trying to focus and focuses me when I am trying not to be distracted. It inspires me to take chances, and reminds me to be patient.

It breaks me down when I’m overconfident, it builds me up when I’m insecure. It brings me pain to remind me I should become a stronger man.

I love it when it’s flawless, but I love it more when it shows signs of wear; our time together has changed us both indelibly for the better.

It is no wonder the French and Italians refer to the bicycle in the feminine form, for all these things embody what it means to be a strong woman.

Women are made to be loved, not understood. -Oscar Wilde

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182 Replies to “La Bicyclette”

  1. Bikes are pretty awesome, yes. They have brought us all here together, haven’t they? Like @scaler911 said in another thread, all these bikes and this website have brought around some people I’d call friends over the past year.

    However, I think I’m more in on the side of non-fetishizing the bike, sort of as ChrisO described. I certainly ‘love’ my bikes, but I see them more as tools. And while I take great care of my bikes, I am also not afraid to get them dirty, take them of the tarmac, and otherwise accept my current #1 isn’t my first bike and won’t be my last.

    And while I take great pains to keep it nice and have curated what I think is a very nice riding and look looking, if budget, ride – I’m not going to exactly be sad when it comes time for an upgrade either.

    What I do find interesting in this sport, however, is the link between man and machine, both in the physical and emotional sense. If something is off in this link, you’ll be having a hard day in the saddle, that’s for sure.

  2. @Nate
    I was going to mention Santa Cruz, but most of their crazies are far and away more grounded than those in Berkeley.

  3. I think one of the things that really ties us to our machines is that they are all – to a great extent – customized. Many may have begun “of the rack” but have been tweaked, upgraded, and most importantly, set up to fit just one person. This isn’t just shifting a seat forwards or backwards and adjusting a rear view mirror, these are the mechanical equivalent of a custom-made suit. It fits only one person and no-one else. If someone messed wih our bkes, we would know it instantly.

    Most of us could, if pressed, give a component-by-component breakdown of each of our rides. We feel close to our machines because they reflect us to an incredible degree – our likes, preferences, body geometry, financial status, and level of commitment.

    Collin is spot on and the guy who loves his car does so because it can’t tell him how it really feels about that bumfluff thing on his upper lip.

  4. Right on.

    Today I rode to work and have worn faint a smile all morning due, in no small pert, to the scent of chain lube that graces my office and the occasional glance over my right shoulder to my steed. The anticipation of taking ‘the long way’ home tonight barely needs mention.

    (Thankfully, my stinky shoes are in another part of the building. After too many closely spaced Rule #9 rides, these shoes have taken on a powerful funk as none have before. Do the assembled have any good advice on how to address this? Sometimes Rule #5 is not enough.)

  5. @Jamie

    Right on.

    Today I rode to work and have worn faint a smile all morning due, in no small pert, to the scent of chain lube that graces my office and the occasional glance over my right shoulder to my steed. The anticipation of taking ‘the long way’ home tonight barely needs mention.

    (Thankfully, my stinky shoes are in another part of the building. After too many closely spaced Rule #9 rides, these shoes have taken on a powerful funk as none have before. Do the assembled have any good advice on how to address this? Sometimes Rule #5 is not enough.)

    Take on a second pair of shoes and rotate. Change the foot bed.

  6. @The Oracle
    Whoops,typo. By “CX” I mean, “XC.” I love my XC rig, in all its dual suspension, 120mm travel, 26lb goodness.

    I don’t have a CX, because adding a CX would get me KO’d by the VMH.

  7. @Jamie

    Try dumping a bunch of baking power (Arm & Hammer) in them and leaving them overnight, then dump out the next day and shake out any excess. That may help to absorb some of the funk and excess moisture.

    Also try replacing the insoles if they are removable.

  8. @Jamie
    I agree with what @versio said about changing the footbeds. If you can’t take a second pair of shoes, this will help heaps. If your shoes are like mine and not fully real leather, you can just toss ’em in the washmachine with your kit (make sure spin cycle is on) after your last ride before a rest day. Leave ’em fully open for at least a full day (preferably near warmth) and they’ll be good as new after.

  9. This is my bike. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
    My bike is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
    My bike, without me, is useless. Without my bike, I am useless.

  10. @minion

    @RedRanger
    That guy is F U C K I N G C R A Z Y.

    Why do these wackos always have, ‘ahem’ a “certain” American accent? Does crazy town actually exist somewhere in the states?

    come to colorado, your question shall be answered….

    i love my bicycle, i am constantly amazed by what it can do, and what it does, this article is right on…

  11. @the Engine

    This is my bike. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
    My bike is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
    My bike, without me, is useless. Without my bike, I am useless.

    Holy Merckx, I love it!

  12. @Collin

    For me, I believe it is less the bike itself and the symbiosis of mind and body. The bike is the means through which you achieve it. The longing gaze at the bike in the corner isn’t so much for the machine itself, as for the sensation and motion.

    When you have a rough day of work, you turn to the bike to settle your mind. When your girl/boyfriend breaks up with you, you turn to the bike. When you’re angry, you put in your PR on your favorite route. When you’re lonely, you cure it with the solitude and freedom of a ride.

    The bike offers solace and discovery. When my mind is in a knot, I find the longer I ride, the less I think, and the faster I feel right. Little is more glorious than getting off the bike after 4 or 5 or more hours and not being able to remember a single thought that was drifting through your mind.

    Beautiful, though what never stops amazing me is how being angry doesn’t always work out to a PR, maybe it just turns into a mellow ride along the coast/forest/desert (whatever you have) and an appreciation for the simplicity of life.

    Similarly, being happy or stoked on a given day may translate into a PR or another mellow ride…it adapts and changes with what our bodies and minds need. Amazing.

    A hard ride or a mellow ride will always serve to remind me that life is simple and beautiful; we just choose to complicate the fuck out of it. Usually when we’re upset about something, our own doing lies firmly at the center of the struggle.

  13. @scaler911

    Oh, and top post Frank. If I catch you in your shop nekkid while I’m up there in a couple weeks, I’m flying Marcus out for an intervention.

    When Marcus lands for the intervention, he is really going to laugh at you after I’ve shaved your eyebrows and sharpied a penis on your forehead.

  14. @brett

    @ChrisO
    I think you need a different bike then. I could sit and stare at my bike for hours.

    I was thinking the same thing; if I’ve made even a small change to one of my bikes, I’ll keep ducking into the workshop to have a peek at ‘er to see how she looks. If I make a huge change like wheels, tires, handlebars, stem, seat pin, or saddle, I’ll bring ‘er up to the living room and keep her close by for a few days.

  15. @graham d.m.

    Well done! I’ve only found/joined this community recently. But I’m glad I did for moments like these posts. It helps me feel less insane as I realize there are others out there who have crazy love affairs with their bikes. What a cool place this is!

    Thanks mate. Yeah, we’re the opposite of AA for cyclists; we’re like a full-on enablement circle. Though in fairness, we recently suggested to @Ron that he actually sell one of his bikes.

  16. @Cyclops

    This year has been a test of my love of the bike. Instead of riding in the Master’s class like a fat old cow should I have been getting my ass handed to me by the Cat 4″²s. Three weekends in a row of being cast down in “off the back” shame had me feeling rather indifferent toward la bicyclette.

    After taking almost two weeks off the bike I spent the weekend getting rained and hailed on whilst slogging up 14% grades and watching my buddy’s wheel disappear in the mist. But I had a big smile on my face that not even a crotchety, rain-soaked drive train could remove. The muscles are sore from thousands of meters of climbing but the mind is refreshed. I can’t wait for the next race.

    That’s the spirit, my man. Strong work – sounds like you’ve got the perfect amount of dumb thing worked out, too!

  17. @Cyclops

    This year has been a test of my love of the bike. Instead of riding in the Master’s class like a fat old cow should I have been getting my ass handed to me by the Cat 4″²s. Three weekends in a row of being cast down in “off the back” shame had me feeling rather indifferent toward la bicyclette.

    After taking almost two weeks off the bike I spent the weekend getting rained and hailed on whilst slogging up 14% grades and watching my buddy’s wheel disappear in the mist. But I had a big smile on my face that not even a crotchety, rain-soaked drive train could remove. The muscles are sore from thousands of meters of climbing but the mind is refreshed. I can’t wait for the next race.

    Reading Fotheringham’s Half Man Half Bike (awesome) and some of the great breaks he went on, he spent the whole break (like, 100km) 200 meters off the front, with the chasing group not getting farther away and not getting closer. The best part? He never – not once – looked back.

    That seems like the kind of determination you’ve got. Hold on to that.

  18. @ChrisO
    I love bicycles and bicycling: I could (and do!) stare at my bikes for hours, admiring their lines and the way the light catches the paint or chrome just so, but I love to ride too, and that state where what bike you’re riding fades into utter irrelevance as you are transported along by your own leg and lung power, feeling nothing but the road, the air and the sheer exuberant physicality of riding.

  19. @Jamie
    A bit of Dr Scholls (or other) foot powder is the go. I had exactly the problem with my shoes. One decent dusting overnight did the trick.

  20. @Jamie

    Today I rode to work and have worn faint a smile all morning due, in no small pert, to the scent of chain lube that graces my office and the occasional glance over my right shoulder to my steed. The anticipation of taking ‘the long way’ home tonight barely needs mention.

    Beautiful. Whenever I ride into the office, I feel the same way. Its a beautiful thing to do.

    (Thankfully, my stinky shoes are in another part of the building. After too many closely spaced Rule #9 rides, these shoes have taken on a powerful funk as none have before. Do the assembled have any good advice on how to address this? Sometimes Rule #5 is not enough.)

    Soak them periodically (every few weeks) in a bucket of water over night with laundry detergent, shake them of most water and then hang them to dry in a place where they dry quickly or toss them in the dryer on a low setting to dry them more quickly. Its noisy, but it works.

    @wiscot
    Spot on. And as to detailing the components, etc – most of us can tell you exactly what size of each (diameter, length) and their specifics (82cm from center of bb to center of saddle rail, etc). Beautiful stuff.

  21. @Oli

    @ChrisO
    I love bicycles and bicycling: I could (and do!) stare at my bikes for hours, admiring their lines and the way the light catches the paint or chrome just so, but I love to ride too, and that state where what bike you’re riding fades into utter irrelevance as you are transported along by your own leg and lung power, feeling nothing but the road, the air and the sheer exuberant physicality of riding.

    Perfect.

  22. Ahem. In the lead photo, aren’t the cranks in the wrong position and the chain on the small ring? Both violations? Mind you, gotta love the sepia tone.

  23. @wiscot

    Ahem. In the lead photo, aren’t the cranks in the wrong position and the chain on the small ring? Both violations? Mind you, gotta love the sepia tone.

    The cranks are in the correct position, and next time you’re in town, I’ll take you up that road and if you ride it in the big ring, I’ll give you the keys to this website. The Rule is to make the bike photogenic, but the parameters are subjective. The one I added as to crank position is, of course, 100% correct, and the one Brett added about the big ring is completely bullshit (convenient, isn’t it?). I always photograph my bikes in the little ring. Nothing tough about setting your bike against a wall in the big dog; its tough to ride in the big dog. Up hills. Steep ones.

  24. @frank
    Point of order, they aren’t at 30 degrees. I don’t care, but just in the interests of correctness.

    Personally, if I bother to line the cranks up, I wouldn’t go for 30 degrees anyway, I’d line them up with either the seatube or the chainstay.

  25. @the Engine

    This is my bike. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
    My bike is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
    My bike, without me, is useless. Without my bike, I am useless.

    You remind me of @PrivateJoker

  26. Two of the main reasons why my productivity at work is way down…great post Frank. Although I am not into the “signs of wear” phase of the relationship yet, we are still honeymooning. She is three days off the stand and my first true carbon ride – I am a little more than obsessed!!

  27. @Tobin

    Two of the main reasons why my productivity at work is way down…great post Frank. Although I am not into the “signs of wear” phase of the relationship yet, we are still honeymooning. She is three days off the stand and my first true carbon ride – I am a little more than obsessed!!

    Don’t let that no.1 bike out of your sight. Seriously!

  28. @frank

    @RedRanger
    He chose the car over this little hunny? Hard to believe.

    This is what his view is like from inside the car leaving the driveway to go parking

  29. @Oli

    @ChrisO
    I love bicycles and bicycling: I could (and do!) stare at my bikes for hours, admiring their lines and the way the light catches the paint or chrome just so, but I love to ride too, and that state where what bike you’re riding fades into utter irrelevance as you are transported along by your own leg and lung power, feeling nothing but the road, the air and the sheer exuberant physicality of riding.

    Ditto!

  30. @Oli
    It just depends on which side of the bike you’re looking from, and which crank you use as a point of reference. So long as its +/- 30 degrees in one of the quadrants, (which mine are) its all good.

    Point is, take care to make ‘er look purdy.

    @sthilzy
    You can’t unsee that shit.

  31. @frank

    @scaler911

    Oh, and top post Frank. If I catch you in your shop nekkid while I’m up there in a couple weeks, I’m flying Marcus out for an intervention.

    When Marcus lands for the intervention, he is really going to laugh at you after I’ve shaved your eyebrows and sharpied a penis on your forehead.

    There are so many things wrong here i just dont know where to start. Frank, just take it easy on scaler… He’s only trying to help you. Just make sure the animals are locked up before marcus shows up.

  32. Thanks Merckx I’m not the only one with issues. Will often feel tyre pressure, press brakes, just stare at it when I pass it in the garage. VHM thinks I have issues, but clearly not.

  33. @DR5150

    Thanks Merckx I’m not the only one with issues. Will often feel tyre pressure, press brakes, just stare at it when I pass it in the garage. VHM thinks I have issues, but clearly not.

    Yep, most times when passing La Bicyclette just give the tyres a ‘flick’ test for testing the ‘ping-i-ness’ of pressure.
    If I end up squeezing a lever, I always have to lift the bike to check it’s weight. One lift with bidons, another lift with bidons removed.
    I’ve enjoyed doing that for over two decades. No issues here!

  34. @frank
    Sweet as. I take this then that crank placement is entirely at one’s discretion, and that 30 degrees can either be entirely ignored or be referenced from any spatial aspect that one chooses. As most cranks look good inherently it makes sense that it doesn’t matter at all how they are placed in photos.

  35. @ChrisO

    @brett

    I don’t think it would make a difference TBH – as I said, I appreciate the beauty of certain design. My Ridley is a beautiful fast thing, my Colnago Master is a beautiful classic thing and my Roberts is a beautiful handmade thing. I sometimes look at other bikes and think how beautiful they are.

    But do I love it/them ? I love what it allows me to do and I love some of the experiences I have on it. But the experiences are mine and I have them on it, not with it, and I could probably have them with another ‘it’.

    I love cycling, not bikes.

    Man, you’re really weird! Do you love being married, but not your wife?

    A bike is a thing of physical beauty as well as a means to an end; Just as I love certain parts of a woman’s body, I love certain parts of my bike(s). The area around the fork crown/downtube is particularly attractive to me, just as a woman’s hips/abdomen are as well. A hollow section rim is akin to slender thighs, and the saddle, well I think you know where I’m going.

  36. @frank

    Shoddy work on the photo bro; the cranks are in a bad position. Either line the non-drive crank up with the seat stay or the seat tube. Put ‘er in the dog. Line up those valve stems at the bottom of the rim. Click. Only takes a few seconds.

    I expect better from you sir.

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