La Bicyclette
I love the shape of it. Aroma of it. The way it feels to be around it. It will catch my eye from across the way; I will be powerless to resist taking in its form and perhaps allow my hand to graze its surface. The source of such beauty and harmony, it is a fountain of unspeakable happiness.
It offers me companionship when I need it, solitude when I want to be alone. It distracts me when I’m trying to focus and focuses me when I am trying not to be distracted. It inspires me to take chances, and reminds me to be patient.
It breaks me down when I’m overconfident, it builds me up when I’m insecure. It brings me pain to remind me I should become a stronger man.
I love it when it’s flawless, but I love it more when it shows signs of wear; our time together has changed us both indelibly for the better.
It is no wonder the French and Italians refer to the bicycle in the feminine form, for all these things embody what it means to be a strong woman.
Women are made to be loved, not understood. -Oscar Wilde
@Oli
Alright Oli, heres a technical question for ya: those old mavic cosmic pros, with the bluish cast tubulars- are they1) bombproof and 2) easy to change to campy from shimano freehub?
@gaswepass
I haven’t really dealt with any since the 90s, so I can’t comment on the durability (is it a bad sign that there aren’t many around still?), and I never had to convert any to Campag so I can’t help there either, sorry! Certainly replacing freehubs on Mavic hubs since the Ksyrium came out is easy, but prior to that I couldn’t tell you without taking it apart or looking at a manual, I’m afraid.
As a Velomibachelor living in a Velomibachelor pad my bikes live in the living room. I actually have it arranged so there is empty wall space for them to lean against. I’m pretty sure that’s love.
@brett
I saw a photo recently of your Merckx, same colors with Zipp 404s (or some deep carbone wheels) and it looked so awesome. I’m thinking you need some of those.
@thelastkilometer
You Rule! Many thanks for posting those photos on the site. Excellent.
@the Engine
+1 Keep it up.
If you’re going to buy a new bike, wait for a day when you’re in a bad mood.
Why waste such a mood booster on a day that’s already good?
@Oli
@brett
Did not expect to find you two like this — talking all caps!
@brett
Dear Penthouse, I never though this would happen to me in real life, but my name’s Bretto and I’ve got a story to share…
Seriously, did you watch that Video and think of all the things right with it?
Interesting to note, Frank, that the words you write are similar to what many musicians think of their prized guitars. If I’m having a shitty day, I’ll pick up my guitar and just play without putting too much thought into what I’m playing. Just play. After a while, being lost in the music, all my stress and anxiety has faded away. Very similar to what happens on the bike.
@versio
Not ALL caps, just a few.
I’m so stoked. I picked up #3 today! It’s looking to be #1 as soon as I get my Velominati Sticker Pack.
Whadya think guys (and girl)?
Crappy photo cause I’m soooo excited I was shaking.
@brett
If my bike was like my wife, just as soon as I bought it, it would have stopped letting me ride it so much. And riding on the bars would have been forbidden.
@frank
Ahhhh! Sorry, I’ve been out riding since the Giro ended, trying to keep myself busy.
I got the VMH out on the bike in question over the weekend. I’d been trying to get her to ride it for awhile. Alas, she had been happy to have just one bike. But she’s come around to having one do-it-all bike & one nice road bike. (we’re very similar in size)
So, it’ll stay within the family. Super cool since now I don’t have to part with it. Sorry to bother ya with that, but thanks for the feedback, Frank, ‘squeak and others.
@Marcus
WOAH! I get married on 6/17, a pretty important day. You’re saying no more riding on the bars…
@Ron
Be under no illusion – your life as you know it is about to end.
Thinking of cycling and early days of marriage, one of my more embarrassing moments happened in 1997, not long after being married – I only realised my stupidity much later. My bike was sitting in the hallway – a Giant Peloton with Shimano 105 complete with aerobar extensions. A friend of a friend was over and asked me if I was a bike rider. I sniffed, “yeah I ride, but I am a triathlete.”
She then very nicely says that here family is into cycling, her brothers and dad race, they do the Hell Ride etc etc. I pretty much didn’t listen because she wasn’t talking about triathlon.
In 2000, that girl’s brother won Stage 7 of the Giro… Not the first or last time I have been an ignorant douche. Right Minion?
Marcus – I’ve been told that, but I have managed to defy many odds to date. I guess this could be the toughest test though? We shall see. I don’t doubt it, but I am still bravely optimistic.
Well, at least we’re going out with a bang. This past weekend was a holiday, so I got my Belgian, French, and Italian cousins out for a backyard bbq & party. In terms of life being simple, life being complex, marriage changing things – well, I feel fortunate to have such nice bikes and have the time to ride them. Here goes nothin’!
@Marcus
@versio
Nice shoes and I’m generally 44 (UK 9). If @Jamie passes, how much?
While some here mentioned the smell of bikes, its the smell in bike shops that gets me, rubber, polish, grease, leather, dreams.
Even crappy bike shops smell good.
@Oli
I don’t know what sort of women you’re hanging out with bro, but mine are sans member!
@minion
What video?
@Gianni
Zipps would have to be one of the least sexy wheels IMO, and not at all suitable for my bike. I’ve never been a fan of deep section wheels, give me low profile box sections any day.
Or some of these…
@brett
Damn, I fucked that up. What a waste of caps.
@brett
The one in the very first post, that was discussed for, oh I dunno, about the first two pages. The one about how Jabba the hutt’s boyfriend would rather pash his car than her.
@Oli
Totally. Keep your powder dry and your caps lowered.
@eightzero
I’m in a world of shit… yes. But I am alive. And I am not afraid.
@minion
Didn’t see it… I’ll go have a look now.
Right… guy’s got two big problems I can see there.
Is it just me, or is @Frank’s seatopost quite ludicrously high? Great look though.
@sthilzy
You do that aswell It also shows I don’t have issues although my VMH, would definitely disagree. She has no problem asking me to fix her bike, yet when I suggest she glue my tubs on for me… not only does she refuse-the nerve-she looks at me with a blank expression, as though I’m an idiot. I can’t see what the problem is.
@scaler911
Obviously the photo doesn’t do it justice. So special you’ll have to give it a name.
@Oli
I could stare at @Oli’s bike for hours
@Tobin
Oh boy is that ever a beaut. Nice choice. I’ve been thinking a lot about the new Gran Fondo lately as a replacement for the SLT01. Which doesn’t need to be replaced.
@Marcus – I hope nobody else rides your bikes. At least your #1.It’s one thing for them to collect dust in the shop and another altogether for someone else to ride them.
There are two kinds of blemishes on bikes. The wear and tear kind and the oh shit kind. The oh shit kind are really hard to accept.
@wiscot
So true, our bicycles become an extension of us which is why it’s so easy to fall into the Cult of the Upgrade.
@ChrisO I know you’re a big fan of Brooks saddles but are your bikes pretty much stock apart from that? does the fact that you see them as tools rather than obsess over them keep the upgrading to a minimum?
Slightly off topic but all this posting photos of fat people reminds me that last week there were two stories side by side in the Telegraph, one that Jessica Ennis Britain’s world heptathlon silver medallist and Olympic gold chance had been described as being too fat by a senior UK Athletics official and the other that Britain’s fattest teenager had to cut out of her house by rescue crews in order to get her to hospital. WTF on both counts.
Ennis had also just beaten the Olympic 100 metre hurdle champion Dawn Harper and world 100 metre hurdle silver medallist Danielle Carruthers so could be described as “on form”
@sthilzy
I know this is cruel to say, but she is the living personification of Jabba the Hut. Lordy, her head and neck are triangular!
@Chris
She might have some fat in her lips and earlobes but that’s about all. Beautiful, fit athlete.
@sthilzy, @Marko
New rule proposal, you can only post pictures of fat people if they’re as fit as Jessica Ennis.
@Chris
Seconded. Oh my eyes.
@sthilzy
WTF are those things on her head anyway? The can’t be curlers as there’s really nothing that can be done on the improvements front. Are they some sort of fat persons sausage holding survival kit for when she’s got to leave the immediate vicinity of the fridge?
@scaler911
So where’s wee Joe 90 then? That sure looks like his gizmo chair.
@Chris
I read that too. I want to see a picture of the fat fuck in a blazer who called her fat. I think a wee head-to-head race should sort out the issue.
@Chris
Correct. She is from Wisconsin and those curlers craftily hide a box of Johnsonville bratwurst in case she gets the munchies.
@wiscot
Carrying sausages is probably the only exercise she gets, might account for the neck.
When you emigrated to Wisconsin, did you introduce the Scottish love of battering and deep frying all things from confectionery to offal? Were the locals skinny before that?
@Chris
I don’t think introducing Wisconsinites to the joys of deep frying everything would be a good move. They seem to be doing ok with fish frys as it is. I think they might develop a love of Iru Bru if it was ever imported.
@wiscot
You can look like that without deep frying mars bars, cheese burgers and pizza?
@Chris
Well one of them is handbuilt to me so that’s not stock. The Colnago – I’ve changed bars, seatposts, tape. The Ridley was bought as F+F with a custom paintjob and the rest was to my specs… So I guess the answer is no.
Having said that I was quite happy to turn up at the Keepers Tour and ride a rental bike. I’m not obsessive about what I am on. I’d rather have been on my own bike for comfort and performance but it wouldn’t have made me appreciate my bike any more or any less by ‘sharing’ the experience.
Just to be clear, I’m not saying I see them only as tools – I totally see the beauty of them as design. Like that Merckx that Pistard posted – I look at that and think it is a beautiful thing.
But I admire bikes in the way I admire a work of art or a piece of music. I don’t feel emotional about them.
In a fire I would be more likely to save my cat than my bike.*
(*I only leave out my wife and children because they live in London while I’m in Abu Dhabi, so chances are they would have to save themselves inshallah).
@Chris
@Chris
Hey, give us some credit. We were deep frying and ingesting everything we could find way before @wiscot showed up, and then we shove it on a stick for easy eatin’. Sausage. Bacon. Bananas. Snickers bars. Car batteries. Etc. Every year the top headline from the State Fair is what new deep-fried food-on-a-stick they’ve come up with.
@motor city
They are scuffed on the right front. Just listed on Ebay today, so you could make an offer with Free shipping. Mention Velominati in your offer and I will give you a great bargain. Listed under title (Pre-owned Giro Prolight SLX cycling shoes Black size 44).
@motor city
Need 60.00 USD to offer free shipping. Where are you located? Might need to make exception to the exclusion list.
@The Oracle
Indeed. In Scotland we just use our fingers. The sophisticates in WI use a stick. When I lived in IN a friend worked in a restaurant. One night he took the fat they cut off steaks, cubed it, rolled it in some spices and batter and deep fried it. In other words, deep-fried fat. The staff loved them but they never got on the menu. He called them Hoosier Snacks.
@Marko
Ain’t that the truth. Good wear: rub marks on the cranks, the labels on the nose of your saddle being worn off…Bad wear: concave rim walls, deep scratch on the top tube where you leaned it against a tree by the frame instead of the saddle….
@Chris
Brilliant.
@The Oracle
One of the greatest things I’ve ever eaten are deep fried cheese curds in Black River Falls WI.
@scaler911
I for one thank whomever invented the Scotch Egg (maybe the Scots?) every time I visit the Horse Brass pub.