Categories: Accessories and GearNostalgiaReverenceThe Bikes

La Bicyclette

I love the shape of it. Aroma of it. The way it feels to be around it. It will catch my eye from across the way; I will be powerless to resist taking in its form and perhaps allow my hand to graze its surface. The source of such beauty and harmony, it is a fountain of unspeakable happiness.

It offers me companionship when I need it, solitude when I want to be alone. It distracts me when I’m trying to focus and focuses me when I am trying not to be distracted. It inspires me to take chances, and reminds me to be patient.

It breaks me down when I’m overconfident, it builds me up when I’m insecure. It brings me pain to remind me I should become a stronger man.

I love it when it’s flawless, but I love it more when it shows signs of wear; our time together has changed us both indelibly for the better.

It is no wonder the French and Italians refer to the bicycle in the feminine form, for all these things embody what it means to be a strong woman.

Women are made to be loved, not understood. -Oscar Wilde

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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frank says:

May 29 2012 at 1:46 pm

@Cyclops

This year has been a test of my love of the bike. Instead of riding in the Master's class like a fat old cow should I have been getting my ass handed to me by the Cat 4"²s. Three weekends in a row of being cast down in "off the back" shame had me feeling rather indifferent toward la bicyclette.

After taking almost two weeks off the bike I spent the weekend getting rained and hailed on whilst slogging up 14% grades and watching my buddy's wheel disappear in the mist. But I had a big smile on my face that not even a crotchety, rain-soaked drive train could remove. The muscles are sore from thousands of meters of climbing but the mind is refreshed. I can't wait for the next race.

That's the spirit, my man. Strong work - sounds like you've got the perfect amount of dumb thing worked out, too!
frank says:

May 29 2012 at 1:49 pm

@Cyclops

This year has been a test of my love of the bike. Instead of riding in the Master's class like a fat old cow should I have been getting my ass handed to me by the Cat 4"²s. Three weekends in a row of being cast down in "off the back" shame had me feeling rather indifferent toward la bicyclette.

After taking almost two weeks off the bike I spent the weekend getting rained and hailed on whilst slogging up 14% grades and watching my buddy's wheel disappear in the mist. But I had a big smile on my face that not even a crotchety, rain-soaked drive train could remove. The muscles are sore from thousands of meters of climbing but the mind is refreshed. I can't wait for the next race.

Reading Fotheringham's Half Man Half Bike (awesome) and some of the great breaks he went on, he spent the whole break (like, 100km) 200 meters off the front, with the chasing group not getting farther away and not getting closer. The best part? He never - not once - looked back.

That seems like the kind of determination you've got. Hold on to that.
Oli says:

May 29 2012 at 1:59 pm

@ChrisO
I love bicycles and bicycling: I could (and do!) stare at my bikes for hours, admiring their lines and the way the light catches the paint or chrome just so, but I love to ride too, and that state where what bike you're riding fades into utter irrelevance as you are transported along by your own leg and lung power, feeling nothing but the road, the air and the sheer exuberant physicality of riding.
Oli says:

May 29 2012 at 2:09 pm

@the Engine, if Frank comes in here and catches us, we'll both be in a world of shit.

I am... in a world... of shit.
mouse says:

May 29 2012 at 2:09 pm

@Jamie
A bit of Dr Scholls (or other) foot powder is the go. I had exactly the problem with my shoes. One decent dusting overnight did the trick.
mouse says:

May 29 2012 at 2:12 pm

@RedRanger

@frank

@RedRanger
He chose the car over this little hunny? Hard to believe.

I'm glad I could leave my mark on this thread.

Think of it as a stain.

@Oli
+1
scaler911 says:

May 29 2012 at 2:31 pm

@frank

@RedRanger
He chose the car over this little hunny? Hard to believe.

Thanks. I just shot Monster Energy drink all over keyboard.
frank says:

May 29 2012 at 2:34 pm

@Jamie

Today I rode to work and have worn faint a smile all morning due, in no small pert, to the scent of chain lube that graces my office and the occasional glance over my right shoulder to my steed. The anticipation of taking 'the long way' home tonight barely needs mention.

Beautiful. Whenever I ride into the office, I feel the same way. Its a beautiful thing to do.

(Thankfully, my stinky shoes are in another part of the building. After too many closely spaced Rule #9 rides, these shoes have taken on a powerful funk as none have before. Do the assembled have any good advice on how to address this? Sometimes Rule #5 is not enough.)

Soak them periodically (every few weeks) in a bucket of water over night with laundry detergent, shake them of most water and then hang them to dry in a place where they dry quickly or toss them in the dryer on a low setting to dry them more quickly. Its noisy, but it works.

@wiscot
Spot on. And as to detailing the components, etc - most of us can tell you exactly what size of each (diameter, length) and their specifics (82cm from center of bb to center of saddle rail, etc). Beautiful stuff.
frank says:

May 29 2012 at 2:35 pm

@Oli

@ChrisO
I love bicycles and bicycling: I could (and do!) stare at my bikes for hours, admiring their lines and the way the light catches the paint or chrome just so, but I love to ride too, and that state where what bike you're riding fades into utter irrelevance as you are transported along by your own leg and lung power, feeling nothing but the road, the air and the sheer exuberant physicality of riding.

Perfect.
frank says:

May 29 2012 at 2:37 pm

@scaler911
You shouldn't be drinking that stuff anyway.