We have the kind of poor judgement that allows us to have a puppy. She’s half pit, half something, and half something else and boasts a lilliputian-sized head. As her Life Coach, I’ve instructed her to focus on growing her head because, as her Uncle Gianni says, no one gets anywhere in this world with a tiny head. But she’s a good puppy, and she’s making good progress. Despite her physical shortcomings, she’s got heart – the kind of spirit that makes everyone around her like her immediately.
The Rules are simultaneously unifying and segregating. They bring the like-minded together while casting those on the fringe outward. This is unfortunate, but necessary; The Rules are a gateway to enjoying ours, this most difficult of sports, to the fullest. Their purpose is to breed Velominati, not scare Cyclists away. At the same time, anyone who dares venture into this realm must be prepared for what awaits them. While The Rules have evolved from an abstract notion into something approaching a Religion and lack any formal order, but there is no mistake in the importance of the first V Rules whose message are to take them with tongue firmly in cheek, lead by example to guide others towards the path, and – oh, by the way – the path starts out hard, and only gets harder as you go along.
We all have our induction into Rule #5; mine came when I was just seven years old. We were out skiing at Lake Phalen in St. Paul when a white-out blizzard hit. For those of you not from Minnesota, getting stuck in one of those is like getting stuck in a Slurpee machine, but without the fruity flavors. Rather than turn back, we followed the tiny bit of groomed trail we could see in front of us and completed our loop. We even beat the search party home, which was kind of like winning. The sense of satisfaction when I walked into the chalet that night, having pushed through a scary situation and come out the other end unscathed, was owed to our willingness push on and not give up. I’ll never forget that day, or my introduction to The V.
Cycling is a sport, a simple thing. It is something we do for pleasure. But Cycling is also a simplification of reality, where we can test our perseverance and learn to fight the greatest adversary we can encounter: ourselves. A Cyclist learns to push through pain to achieve a goal. These lessons are then applied to our lives to allow us to become better people. Because of this, the Velominati learn to be strong, tough people.
For those of us who have studied The V, we have learned something about ourselves that can never be taken from us. I’ll go to the grave with the lessons that I’ve learned on two wheels that have been subsequently applied to every walk of my life. Life’s hardships, in whatever form they meet us, can be more easily dispatched when one has learned to push harder when the legs burn and the lungs scream out in agony.
La Fleur de V grows inside us. Its pollen spreads to those with whom we interact, much like my puppy’s good nature infects everyone she comes in contact with. Guide the uninitiated, and always observe Rules #5 and #43 in all aspects of life, not just Cycling. The pretenders quickly fade into the background, and the Velominati stand apart as strong, good people.
Vive la Vie Velominatus.
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@paolo
That's got to be the most malevolent puppy I've ever seen. I want one!
@frank
I think you are safe.
@paolo
That dog doesn't need to bark - it'll head-butt you instead. Just the look on it's face says it all: "you're dead meat, pal."
It is only 8 weeks old....imagine what it will be like grown up!
Damn, I love this web site. That's an awesome piece of scribe, Frank. I've been following Velominati for a few months now (thanks Cyclingnews for turning me on to it), and I look forward to each and every day of it. Funny, articulate, original, great feedback from all followers. Really the best cycling site on the web. I applied Rule V more than once on an ass-busting ride this past weekend, and I'll be damned if it didn't help. Viva la Velominati!!
@Gianni
Daniel Day Lewis = brilliant in everything. Cameron Diaz = shite in everything.
@Ron
This sums up the best of our sport rather brilliantly.
@Ron
Well...I do have a Garmin 510, but to my dying day I will refuse to load pre-mapped rides into it! [maybe that should be a rule?!] It's too easy to squeeze-out the true essence of the ride with artificial boundaries of where I'm supposed to be and when. Occasionally I need to phone my VMH to break the news that I'm going to be late...she just laughs and tells me to stay safe. VLVV and cheers.
I had a fabulous ride on Sunday. Only 62k, but 1900 metres of upwardly mobile V, which for me is a little like V-squared.
Resplendent in V-kit, with a bidon of water, spare tube, pump and two small, foam-like snack products acquired in a last minute gas station panic, I set off. With no real direction in mind, I spotted a canyon called Las Flores which I recall someone mentioning was unpleasant.
And lo, they proved to be right. After a mere K or so of flatteringly false flat the gradient turned skywards and stayed there. Though I admit immediate capitulation to the 25 cog, as I dropped into the grind house I was pleasantly surprised to find the pedals were still just about turning over fast enough to confound the butterflies. After a few more clicks of zig-zaggering the scenery backed off to a more modest 8% or so and if I didn't exactly attack it, I may have clicked up a few gears and stopped cursing as much.
At the top was a magnificent view of the Ocean and surrounding mountains but no mobile phone reception. Which left me mildly lost and a figure of considerable amuse/bemusement to the cyclists coming the other way I asked for directions. After enquiring whether I had enough food - they sent me on up the Mulholland 'snake' where similarly kindly California motorcyclists did not run me over (which I understand is the usual greeting for visiting British cyclists.) A last blast down Encinal dropped me out near Zuma beach where I met the missus and went for a burger. What a marvellous hobby this is.
@gregorio
Funny. I bought the 510 simply so my wife has piece of mind via live tracking that I'm not lying in a ditch somewhere. As long as that little dot keeps moving, we're all good.