La Vie Velominatus: One Piece at a Time

Its a 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99 bicycle.

Patience has never come naturally to me – I’m more Calvin than I am Hobbes in that regard. Yet I am meticulous and demanding of myself and those with whom I journey through life. It is a conflict that has caused its fair share of grief; my childhood is piled high with memories of incidents where I made choices and mistakes that robbed me of the satisfaction of a job well done.

One such episode involved my eagerness to have bar-mounted shifters in the early nineties. STI had just come on the market, and they were priced so high it would require disciplined saving in order for me to afford them. Rather than patiently saving, I spent my money on lower-cost options which differed in their implementation but shared in their failure to quench my thirst for STI. At one point, my father pointed out that with what I’d spent on cheaper compromises, I could have already bought what I really wanted.

Some lessons in life are easily learned, but to practice them is another thing altogether. While I have learned patience, it is often stretched to its limit as I have also become more exacting in my expectations. What the Prophet giveth, he taketh away.

I have finally reached the point in my life where I enjoy the journey as much as I do the destination. I can’t imagine buying a complete bicycle and forgoing the process of hand-picking the kit to dress it up in and embarking on the quest to source it. For me, a bicycle begins as an idea which slowly materializes through the curation of its frame and components. The process of assembling it is a ritualistic undertaking, a kind of spiritual offering to the Elders on Mount Velomis. The assembled bicycle marks the end of a journey during which we’ve already bonded.

Only as this journey comes to a close are we ready to begin a new one, one where we evolve through prolonged exposure to The V. The path to becoming a Velominatus is built on taking the time to do things correctly, and building our machines is no exception.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @xyxax I would say you are missing the yokozuna cables that frank mentioned earlier. This holiday season I will be upgrading both the +1 and +2 bikes with yokozuna.

  • @DCR Excellent point.  DA housing was sent with the brakes but were a take-off from a new bike that must have been a 48cm.  Like wearing my daughter's shirts. Though they're supposed to be the best thing in cable since "Curb Your Enthusiasm", time for plan B and I had my eye on the Yokozunas.  Thanks for the tip.

    @Nate
    How did you know I was making my New Year's Eve party shopping list already?

  • @xyxax

    @Nate
    How did you know I was making my New Year's Eve party shopping list already?

    Hmm, I think I'll go for the Fish House Punch instead.

  • @frank

    @brett

    @Buck Rogers

    Thats a great video but can I point it is not a single-track?

    Looks perfect for a gravur. Assuming you're geared down enough - looks steep in places!

    Thats not a hill climb race at all. The Whiskey Offroad Challenge is a 50 Mile MTB race. One of the premier races in the US and put together by Epic Rides which is based in Tucson. They are one of the first organizers to have equal prize purses for men and women.

  • @frank

    @brett

    @Buck Rogers

    Thats a great video but can I point it is not a single-track?

    Looks perfect for a gravur. Assuming you're geared down enough - looks steep in places!

    Singletrack.

    Those guys are all on singlespeeds, so with gears it would be a lot easier than they are doing it. And they're doing it pretty well... especially the guy who comes barreling through the middle!

  • @DCR

    @xyxax I would say you are missing the yokozuna cables that frank mentioned earlier. This holiday season I will be upgrading both the +1 and +2 bikes with yokozuna.

    Talk me through the cost / benefit analysis of the Yoki's. Ive got them in the back of my mind also.

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