La Vie Velominatus: One Piece at a Time

Its a 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99 bicycle.

Patience has never come naturally to me – I’m more Calvin than I am Hobbes in that regard. Yet I am meticulous and demanding of myself and those with whom I journey through life. It is a conflict that has caused its fair share of grief; my childhood is piled high with memories of incidents where I made choices and mistakes that robbed me of the satisfaction of a job well done.

One such episode involved my eagerness to have bar-mounted shifters in the early nineties. STI had just come on the market, and they were priced so high it would require disciplined saving in order for me to afford them. Rather than patiently saving, I spent my money on lower-cost options which differed in their implementation but shared in their failure to quench my thirst for STI. At one point, my father pointed out that with what I’d spent on cheaper compromises, I could have already bought what I really wanted.

Some lessons in life are easily learned, but to practice them is another thing altogether. While I have learned patience, it is often stretched to its limit as I have also become more exacting in my expectations. What the Prophet giveth, he taketh away.

I have finally reached the point in my life where I enjoy the journey as much as I do the destination. I can’t imagine buying a complete bicycle and forgoing the process of hand-picking the kit to dress it up in and embarking on the quest to source it. For me, a bicycle begins as an idea which slowly materializes through the curation of its frame and components. The process of assembling it is a ritualistic undertaking, a kind of spiritual offering to the Elders on Mount Velomis. The assembled bicycle marks the end of a journey during which we’ve already bonded.

Only as this journey comes to a close are we ready to begin a new one, one where we evolve through prolonged exposure to The V. The path to becoming a Velominatus is built on taking the time to do things correctly, and building our machines is no exception.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • This concept of patience is something I still lack, even at my somewhat advanced age. If I'm to truly follow the path, I have to commit to my next bike teaching me some patience. As long as it does it quickly!

  • All so true. I'm about a third of the way through a new number one build right now and am just making up for a less than ideal fork decision. It's all sorted now but a Rule 11 violation clouded my judgement and caused me to purchase a good but not ideal fork.

    What really gets fun then is the domino effect moving from one bike to another. As new number one gets built up that leaves current number one's frame available for the group-san on current number three. The group-san on current number three is appropriate for what'll be new number three (now number one). Then the 9 speed group-san from number one 10 years ago (which has gone unused for a couple seasons) can go on number three right now as it would be more period appropriate and thusly becomes number four. So by building up a new number one I not only get a new number one but freshen up number three and create number four. Number two holds its spot but gets overhauled. Make sense? By all calculations, that's a solid 2 days of shop time. 3 if I take my time and drink beer.

  • @frank FUCK!!!  Amazing what the right saddle will do to the overall 50 meter effect of a bike!  Just awesome. 

    Is your seatpost Campagnolo as well?  Looks like it. 

    My steel '92 Merckx is only a 53 frame (told it was a 56 when I bought it on line and I ride a 58) and it came with the aero Dura-Ace post from that year's group-san which does not extend at all secondary to being very short. 

    I need a new seatpost for her and have tried desperately to find a '92 DA seatpost that has enough length for a decent fit but have so far been unsuccessful. Do not want to mix components and I really want to keep it all '92.

    Might have to switch groups just for the seatpost as at least I will be able to ride her but really do not want to have to do that.

    But, as it is, I do not ride it as it is way too small at the moment.

  • @unversio LOVE that version.

    Someone posted a helmet cam vid of a mountain bike hill climb race set to that music over on faceplant around a year ago and I have been trying to find it ever since.  It was amazing.  Wish I could find it again somewhere!

  • @the Engine Nope.  That's not it.  I have found that one.  The one I saw was purely a guy on a mountain bike climbing a single track and trail steeply for the whole "Hurt" cover by Cash and the vid had only that song and he was passing people and getting passed and it was all hemet cam view from the riders perspective.  Much better than the one you posted in my opinion (no commentary on your tastes intended!).

    But Thanks for trying!!!

  • @frank

    @Optimiste

    From my favorite Johnny Cash album, The Baron; which is unavailable digitally. I have it on vinyl, but I copied to digital so I could have it in my iTune library.

    The hard way taught me well

    The hard way

    Sure put me through some hell

    The hard way

    It taught me how to tell

    The right way from the wrong

    And on which side I belong

    "Had to do it wrong just to get it right"

    Brilliant lyrics.  Story of my life.  I've always like The Man in Black, but even more so now.

  • In my process of building I have included my VMH on HER builds. What a cool process AND gets you more negotiation with your own builds! Thus, My wife's girley ride!

  • Frank, I met that Bianchi before I met you! How amazing is that? And what a good impression that bike made on me, once I lowered the saddle. This guy rules if this is his number 3 bike and he is loaning it out to a stranger.

    Regarding the article, yeah, the Peugeot was the only road bike I bought fully built then I proceeded to remove and replace almost all of it with glossy Campagnolo bit of forged love.

    @marko  I love the cascade effect when new parts arrive, every bike benefits.

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