La Vie Velominatus: Standing Grace

We are bipedal creatures. Fact. Bipedal locomotion sucks. Also a fact. This makes being a human somewhat challenging in the sense that we don’t have opposable toes or a tail with which to swing from tree limbs. Swinging from your tail seems a little bit like bliss, if you ignore the associated demotion back into the Food Chain.

We Cyclists elect to circumvent these shortcoming by pushing our legs around in circles rather than in whatever shape makes a walking pattern or a tail-swinging pattern. It’s quite unnatural, riding a bike, and even the most casual study of the common Cyclist will reveal that most are not terribly good at it.

Which is why the graceful Cyclist is such a pleasure to watch; the mastery of the unnatural. A Cyclist who coaxes the pedals about their arch with fluid grace and power is not so much an athlete as an artist. This is a creature who has dominated the nature and become something wholly of another world.

Rising from the saddle in search of more power is perhaps the pinnacle of the art. Planting our butts in our saddle provides a solid platform from which to crush the pedals; it’s a handy way to keep our limbs from setting off in independent orbits. But when we’re really on the rivet and in the search for Speed Plus One, that rump is going to have to get lifted up into the air.

The most skilled in this craft are a beauty to behold. In one fluid motion that does nothing to limit the venom in their stroke, they rise out of the saddle and allow the machine to sway beneath them in  response to the power being applied by each thrust to the pedals. The saddle sways from side to side in an almost hypnotic rhythm as the rider suffers without revealing any external signs of the effort they are applying.

The only hint is that the amplitude of the saddle’s sway increases as the power does. And when the time comes to return to the saddle, the amplitude is reigned in and brought back to home with perfect precision and no loss in the pedal stroke.

Cadel Evans looked horrible out of the saddle; he gave the impression he was trying to strangle his machine for some untold afront. Sean Kelly, on the other hand, could rise out of the saddle without you even realizing he was standing, so smooth was the transition.

On my best days, my saddle returns to me in perfect unison; I am one with my machine, a symbiotic lifeform. Upon a visit with the Man with the Hammer, I almost need to coast in order to return my rump to its home on the rare occasion that I manage to lift it off in the first place.

Mastery of this art is one I continue to pursue. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @Ron

    I have definitely found myself considering if the Saddle Sway I was engaging in was rhythmic and artistic when out of the saddle.

    Was traveling last week and wasn’t on a bike for five whole days. My Tuesday morning commute felt weird, like I’d never ridden a bike. Legs were all herky-jerky, nothing felt smooth. After a proper evening road ride on Thursday, I was back. Love the smooth, calm feeling on the bike when doing it right!

    Isn't that awesome; lately I get on the bike and just feel the awesomeness of easy smooth pedalling. This is why we do it, people.

    @The Grande Fondue

    The looking good out-of-the is a puncheur thing:

    Being an Irish puncheur, Dan Martin makes it look great, but I can’t find a great pic. Valverde looks fantastic out-of-the-saddle, but I won’t post a pic of that.

    Gobbles' grace with power is among the best ever. Such a smooth rider.

  • @frank

    @frank

    @Matt

    @Haldy

    From the same 87 Tour TT- Roche was also a master at this…an Irish thing perhaps?

    Everything about this photo rules. The backwards cap, the chrome fork, the bidon, the massive Big Ring. His face – suffering but ever so focused. Even the shifters are bloody PERFECTLY aligned. FFS.

    Roche was a master aesthete for sure. The cap wearing is most perfect.

    That rear mech was also the pinnacle of style as far as I’m concerned. They’d only just left the boxy design behind and really invested in machining the derailleur for one reason only: beauty.

    You gotta love those Italians.

    Ok…posting against my own post is not cool but I just can’t stop. Check out the inner chainring too. And the block. That is some burly gearing he’s crushing and I bet the course wasn’t even pancake flat.

    42 I'd reckon, eh? Which means that Big Ring has gotta be, what, 54? SUR LA FUCKING PLAQUE. And can't be more than 23 out back.

  • @Matt

    @frank

    @frank

    @Matt

    @Haldy

    From the same 87 Tour TT- Roche was also a master at this…an Irish thing perhaps?

    Everything about this photo rules. The backwards cap, the chrome fork, the bidon, the massive Big Ring. His face – suffering but ever so focused. Even the shifters are bloody PERFECTLY aligned. FFS.

    Roche was a master aesthete for sure. The cap wearing is most perfect.

    That rear mech was also the pinnacle of style as far as I’m concerned. They’d only just left the boxy design behind and really invested in machining the derailleur for one reason only: beauty.

    You gotta love those Italians.

    Ok…posting against my own post is not cool but I just can’t stop. Check out the inner chainring too. And the block. That is some burly gearing he’s crushing and I bet the course wasn’t even pancake flat.

    42 I’d reckon, eh? Which means that Big Ring has gotta be, what, 54? SUR LA FUCKING PLAQUE. And can’t be more than 23 out back.

    That inner ring is larger than a 42!

  • @Haldy

    @Matt

    @frank

    @frank

    @Matt

    @Haldy

    From the same 87 Tour TT- Roche was also a master at this…an Irish thing perhaps?

    Everything about this photo rules. The backwards cap, the chrome fork, the bidon, the massive Big Ring. His face – suffering but ever so focused. Even the shifters are bloody PERFECTLY aligned. FFS.

    Roche was a master aesthete for sure. The cap wearing is most perfect.

    That rear mech was also the pinnacle of style as far as I’m concerned. They’d only just left the boxy design behind and really invested in machining the derailleur for one reason only: beauty.

    You gotta love those Italians.

    Ok…posting against my own post is not cool but I just can’t stop. Check out the inner chainring too. And the block. That is some burly gearing he’s crushing and I bet the course wasn’t even pancake flat.

    42 I’d reckon, eh? Which means that Big Ring has gotta be, what, 54? SUR LA FUCKING PLAQUE. And can’t be more than 23 out back.

    That inner ring is larger than a 42!

    Looks like 19T 8 speed and 44 runs with 54 -- I don't know.

  • @Matt

    2 I’d reckon, eh? Which means that Big Ring has gotta be, what, 54? SUR LA FUCKING PLAQUE. And can’t be more than 23 out back.

    I'd say 46 or 48 at least. 42 is only a bit bigger than 39 and there is no air between the 54 (or even a 56?) and the inner ring!

    And I'd bet my left big toe that there isn't anything bigger than 21 on the back. Maybe even 19. 23 back then was the mountain gear.

  • @frank

    @Matt

    2 I’d reckon, eh? Which means that Big Ring has gotta be, what, 54? SUR LA FUCKING PLAQUE. And can’t be more than 23 out back.

    I’d say 46 or 48 at least. 42 is only a bit bigger than 39 and there is no air between the 54 (or even a 56?) and the inner ring!

    And I’d bet my left big toe that there isn’t anything bigger than 21 on the back. Maybe even 19. 23 back then was the mountain gear.

    So here's what I've gathered...

    Less Big Ring: V

    Big Ring: VV

    Cassette: V - VV

  • @frank

    @Haldy

    I imagine many people would watch that event with the same bewilderment as with which I watch Cricket.

    Indeed. It is often fun to see the puzzled look on the faces of some of the crowd that come to watch on Fridays, when I am rolling "relief" and high on the banks waiting to get flung back in. Although it's the fans in the beer garden that want to hand me up a beer that are the best! :-)

    You need to come watch the Madison live and in the flesh next week. Come see for yourself what the ultimate interval session looks like.

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