Lean In, Lean Out

Lean casually.

I profess to understand every mannerism and habit of the Cyclist. I’m Dutch, and I’m a writer, so it all comes pretty naturally. The problem is that thinking you understand something and actually understanding it are two completely different things; the first is confidence, the second is wisdom; there is no Venn diagram that has an intersection between the two. As we move inexorably towards 2016, I humbly seek to temper my confidence with a (light) dusting of hubris.

I’ll start off, a full three days shy of 2016, with my first acknowledgement of not understanding why we do certain things: this leaning against stuff rather than unclipping business. When I say “things”, I mean objects like fences, light poles, cars, other riders, small marking wands that under no circumstances can hold the weight of a Cyclist, rubbish bins, traffic cones and any other paraphernalia that looks inviting.

It is an undeniable fact that Eddy looks entirely badass in this photo, leaning away like putting a foot down on the tarmac would be an affront to the soles of his shoes. There is, of course, a good reason for it: he finally got his toe clips and straps sorted just perfectly, and he is not about to start over on that sordid affair just to avoid putting his handprint on the team car. We, the modern Cyclist, have clipless pedals and they are quite easy to sort and there is very little at risk when it comes to unclipping, apart from the humility of making a balls of it and falling over like a twunt.

Which brings me back to this irresistible desire we have to not unclip from our pedals. Twunt Tumbles aside, there is really no good reason for us not to unclip any time we come to a halt, a practice which itself should admittedly be kept to a minimum. Unclipping is a prime opportunity to demonstrate to the world our ability to Wait Properly. But none of us want to do it. We’d rather wobble about in some sort of balancing act as if putting a foot down were admitting defeat to gravity or the coriolis effect or some other such nonsense.

And careful with the car lean, you might just piss off the wrong driver.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Mikael Liddy says:

Dec 29 2015 at 3:42 pm

@sengelov

In Denmark, every potential problem, no matter how subtile, is taken care of by the public welfare system, which also have a department for cyclists. Consequently, a handrail is placed whenever there is a traffic light, -for your convenience……….(lean on (Mø))

Yup, unlike the Dutch, we tend to worry more about just getting things right rather than telling everyone how right we think we are...
frank says:

Dec 29 2015 at 4:31 pm

@chuckp

Unclipping and putting your foot down is perhaps the best opportunity to exude casual deliberateness. Isn’t this how we all look when we’re waiting at a stop light?

Damn straight that's how I know *I* look.
frank says:

Dec 29 2015 at 4:36 pm

@Ron

I unclip at red lights just to show off my awesomely defined calf to the jealous cagers.

As for touching cars…gotta love that a New York politician was caught telling a cyclist to, “Find a fucking bike lane and use it!” not long after her politician spouse was caught telling a cyclist he’d kill him if he touched his car again. The cyclist had smacked the car because the politician nearly ran him over.

What a lovely couple!

Ah, New York at Christmas!

@wiscot

@emerson

@Oli

Maybe this thread will become focused on pedals.

I wonder how long a pair of pedals lasted on the Prophet’s bike? To paraphrase Mr. T “I pity the pedal . . . “

One shudders at the thought!

@emerson

Perhaps I misidentified those pedals too early.

Campagnolo Superleggeri Record Pista TT design.

I think they all pretty much rode those Pista pedals. Boy, if I could ever get my hands on a set of those!
Kevin says:

Dec 29 2015 at 5:41 pm

I had to look up both 'twunt' and 'maing' in the urban dictionary.
emerson says:

Dec 29 2015 at 6:37 pm

Frank, possibly take Superleggeri pedals on a gravel road?
Haldy says:

Dec 29 2015 at 6:46 pm

@frank

@Ron

I unclip at red lights just to show off my awesomely defined calf to the jealous cagers.

As for touching cars…gotta love that a New York politician was caught telling a cyclist to, “Find a fucking bike lane and use it!” not long after her politician spouse was caught telling a cyclist he’d kill him if he touched his car again. The cyclist had smacked the car because the politician nearly ran him over.

What a lovely couple!

Ah, New York at Christmas!

@wiscot

@emerson

@Oli

Maybe this thread will become focused on pedals.

I wonder how long a pair of pedals lasted on the Prophet’s bike? To paraphrase Mr. T “I pity the pedal . . . “

One shudders at the thought!

@emerson

Perhaps I misidentified those pedals too early.

Campagnolo Superleggeri Record Pista TT design.

I think they all pretty much rode those Pista pedals. Boy, if I could ever get my hands on a set of those!

You want a set of Pista pedals? I used to ride those at Marymoor...I think my set is still in the garage...
Mikael Liddy says:

Dec 29 2015 at 6:54 pm

@frank

@chuckp

Unclipping and putting your foot down is perhaps the best opportunity to exude casual deliberateness. Isn’t this how we all look when we’re waiting at a stop light?

Damn straight that’s how I know *I* look.

until a combination of sweat & sunscreen cause the elbow to slip off the bars & you look like a total prat (not that I'd be speaking from experience or anything).
Oli says:

Dec 29 2015 at 10:13 pm

@frank

@Oli

So now we have to worry what the fucking morons in cars think of us? Fuck that! Trackstanding is the fucking LEAST of what they hate about us. This thread is fully maing.

So close! We almost made it to 2016 before running out of our vintage 2015 sense of humor!

This IS my sense of fucking humour.
Oli says:

Dec 29 2015 at 10:13 pm

lol
minion says:

Dec 30 2015 at 1:12 am

Who the fuck stops at red lights?

(Courier humour...) Track standing is something, annoyingly, I can do on a commuter/touring bike but not on any of my race bikes. Traffic lights are about timing, as much as anything, and in the absence of track standing ability I've mastered the slow roll approach.

But again, I'm a child of my environment. I've never ridden with straps though at a pinch I'll lean against a pole or parking meter. I sometimes wonder what it's like to be so very, very, veryveryvery old that you had to ride bikes in the fucking dark ages.