Categories: EtiquetteLe GraveurMusings from the V-BunkerNostalgiaThe Bikes

On Rule #12: The Bike #1 Paradox

This helps make a bike special.

[rule number=12/]

The only parents who proclaim to have a favorite child are the ones who have only one; all the other ones pretend they don’t have a favorite because they are each “different and special in their own way”. It’s complete bollocks, that, and we all know every parent does in fact have a favorite, but we like the lie more than we like the truth, so we all play along.

Rule #12 poses a similar conundrum, one in which we tell ourselves the same lie: we love all our bikes equally. Which we don’t, of course; we all have a favorite. A friend recently asked me how one goes about the business of judging which bike is your favorite and even as I told the usual lie, I was performing the calculus as to which actually is my favorite.

Sentimentally, I’d have to say my favorite is my first love, my Bianchi EV2 which currently hangs in disrepair in the back corner of the basement, waiting to be restored to period-correct glory. Either that or my steel Bianchi TSX with simplex downtube shifters and sexy silver Campa hubs and bits. Or my Cervelo R3 which was my first carbon steed and who loyally carried me over two Cobbled Classics Keepers Tours and currently faithfully serves as my Nine Bike. Or my Veloforma CCX which was my first custom-painted bike, gloriously flying the colors of the Velominati with a V-Lion headtube badge. Or my Veloforma Strada iR which is my go-to featherweight road steed on summer rides. Apparently I’m sentimental about any bike I’ve ever suffered on, so measure turns out not to be a helpful one.

From a utility standpoint, one might suggest the #1 would be the one you ride most often, but no bike should go unridden, and we should endeavor to ride them equally. That has that one sorted as a useless measure as well. The next obvious measure would be the one we take out on special rides, irrespective of the weather or road conditions. Or perhaps it is simply the one we spent the most money on, the one that helps us observe Rule #25, but cost seems like a silly reason to prefer one bike over another.

My Bike #1 is the one that makes me feel most free, that returns me most dearly to the reasons why I started riding a bike in the first place: my Graveur. It carries me through the backcountry forest roads in Washington State, on rides that almost always start and end accompanied by my other loyal steed, our pitbull-greyhound mutt. You can’t feel more free on a bike than that.

I’ll say it again: the road is where my heart lies, but the gravel is where I find my soul. VLVV.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Marko says:

Sep 29 2015 at 5:16 am

@chris

@KogaLover

@frank

Sometimes my testicular protuberances are quite large. It's an adventure bike so on some level we're talking apples and oranges. This thing goes where there are no roads. Roads, even unimproved ones, could be miles and miles away. I've forded streams, been up to my nuts in bogs, hiked up thousands of feet of single track, ridden through grass and weeds up to my shoulders, been followed by hordes of flies, waved it at moose and bear to scare them out of my way. I'll be damned if I'm going to carry an extra 3" X 29" tube, tire boots, CO2, lube, large multi-tool, rain cape, extra layer, and 4000 extra calories in my fucking jersey and I'm slogging along at 9k/hr for hours on end. If it's all about looking pro, look no further than these dudes for inspiration on this type of bike. Then go out and try it with your jersey stuffed. When you do, report back and let me know how it went for you. I've already declared 2015 the year of the EPMS.
KogaLover says:

Sep 29 2015 at 6:11 am

@Marko
Guess I m glad the cycling season and year 2015 is over then.
But the real question remains: What is worse: EPMS or jersey-sag. My view: EPMS is worse as there is a clear Rule again that. Jersey-sag is only one of the by-rules that only @Frank is familiar with.
chris says:

Sep 29 2015 at 6:17 am

I had a few hours to spare on Saturday and with a big ride planned on Sunday, I decided that rather than head out on #1, it would be a good idea to get #2 into shape for the winter.

The #2 had only been demoted from its tip dog status in June when, in a moment of madness that hasn't been repeated, Mrs Chris agreed that I needed a second bike. It'd been languishing at the back of the garage since the end of August when we'd come back from holiday (I'd taken int to France for my brother in law to ride as he'd flown down so couldn't take his bike).

The wheels didn't need much attention as they'd been on my #1 since I gashed the rear tubular on the #1's carbon wheels whilst lost in France and taking a dirt track back to out village). The rest of the bike got a good strip down, clean and grease where required.

It was a blissfully relaxing way to while away a couple of hours and made Sunday's 132 km on the #2 that much sweeter. Apart from trying to shift Shimano like it was Sram and the front brake being on the wrong side, the #2 did a great job of reminding me what a fine bike it is.
Marko says:

Sep 29 2015 at 6:22 am

@KogaLover

@Marko
Guess I m glad the cycling season and year 2015 is over then.
But the real question remains: What is worse: EPMS or jersey-sag. My view: EPMS is worse as there is a clear Rule again that. Jersey-sag is only one of the by-rules that only @Frank is familiar with.

I'll take an EPMS over jersey sag on the adventure bike any day. For a couple reasons; I've lost things out of my jersey pockets while hike-a-bikeing and shouldering and it's just uncomfortable on rough terrain bouncing around and sometimes even leaving scrapes and bruises on my lower back. Plus, there's a tendency to fall more and falling on a loaded jersey sucks. It's all about necessity. I've tried both. My first inclination as a Keeper was to ride without but I learned after a couple rides that it just wasn't practical.
chris says:

Sep 29 2015 at 6:24 am

@Marko

Apart from the gentle dig about your drive chain, my comments weren't aimed at you. As long you keep the adventure bike miles and miles away from roads (even unimproved ones) I reckon it is exempt from a lot of the rules.

Fucking off into the wild blue yonder like that must be awesome. Unfortunately, the closest I can manage is the fens; rather than being eaten by a bear, it's more likely that I'd be sodomised and eaten by some inbred.

Neither am I advocating anything that results in Fat Arsed Jersey Syndrome on the road.
Nate says:

Sep 29 2015 at 7:13 am

@frank

Good news then. It is a fun process you may as well drag it out!
MangoDave says:

Sep 29 2015 at 10:34 am

@Uncle V

@MangoDave
I just find that the bike does most everything well but does not shine in any one department ,like a jack of all trades and master of none. Its really just kinda boring. If I were to choose between my lugged steel Marinoni which is a gorgeous frame at a fraction of the cost of the Peg to take me on a Zen like trip. Hands down the Marinoni wins. To me Pepe (Mr Marinoni) can still deliver the magic into every one of his frames, more so than the iconic Dario Pegoretti .

Interesting perspective. I'd hardly call mine boring. It's a much older model than yours, I wonder if that matters. Sadly, I doubt I'll ever have a chance to ride a Marinoni. It all goes to remind me that there are so many good bike choices out there it's impossible to experience them all. .
Nate says:

Sep 29 2015 at 10:50 am

@Marko

I couldn’t agree more. In fact, I’ll see your Graveur and raise you an adventure bike. Once I bought my fatbike last winter a little lightbulb went off. Super fun and had me riding in the dead of winter over lakes and trails that were formerly inaccessible on two wheels. But the white hot light of a thousand suns shown down on me when I put 29+ carbon hoops, 3″ tires, and drop bars on the thing. A whole new world opened up. Load it with packs and go to the mountains, get lost in the 100 mile swamp, roll fast on gravel, single-track – why not. This bike has been my go-to this summer. So bloody fun. And although I’d never tell my C40 – ssshhhhh – I think it’s number 1.

That weird thing is pretty freeking awesome Marko. It might not be a road bike but it looks to be a well thought out machine for tackling the bonkers shit you must ride up there in the great north woods.

I think you are going to destroy the plastic clip-thing on that EPMS in short order, however. I had one of those back before I discovered these hallowed pages and it only took a couple rides on rough roads to break the plastic.
frank says:

Sep 29 2015 at 11:16 am

@Marko

I'm not sure all that awesome you're talking about justifies such a tiny EPMS, most crucially, that it justifies leaving it on for the photo (masturbation principle FFS!) The bike camping looks wickedly cool. The small EPMS does not. The giant EMPSes look like necessary baggage to carry all that Awesome.

The question is, are the speed low enough that you can bring your dog?

This looks pretty cool:

http://findyourfast.tumblr.com/post/120318470739/a-week-ago-dave-and-i-along-with-a-solid-crew-of

@Nate

This.
Uncle V says:

Sep 29 2015 at 11:24 am

@MangoDave

@Uncle V

@MangoDave
I just find that the bike does most everything well but does not shine in any one department ,like a jack of all trades and master of none. Its really just kinda boring. If I were to choose between my lugged steel Marinoni which is a gorgeous frame at a fraction of the cost of the Peg to take me on a Zen like trip. Hands down the Marinoni wins. To me Pepe (Mr Marinoni) can still deliver the magic into every one of his frames, more so than the iconic Dario Pegoretti .

Interesting perspective. I’d hardly call mine boring. It’s a much older model than yours, I wonder if that matters. Sadly, I doubt I’ll ever have a chance to ride a Marinoni. It all goes to remind me that there are so many good bike choices out there it’s impossible to experience them all. .

It could just be the tires on the Peg ,they,re vittoria 25c corsa tubulars with the tan sidewall ,Unlike most I just can,t get on the bandwagon in favour of 25c,s . They look hideous when looking down on the tire while riding, they mush up and down when climbing out of the saddle , much more so than a 23c . They don,t seem to smooth out the pave a whole lot better than 23,s . They look slow and feel slow . Will get some 23,s on the Peg it could very well take the word boring out of the whole equation..