Rule #12 is a luxury of passion; the #1 for good weather and epic rides or races, the Nine Bike for bad weather, the Graveur (which is neither a cross bike nor a road bike), a ‘Cross bike, a mountain bike, a townie, a track bike, a time trial bike. Add in steel, carbon, titanium – a bike for each material and a material for each bike. The only logical conclusion is that we all need – need – a bare minimum of somewhere in the neighborhood of 25 bikes. Columbo couldn’t poke a hole in that case.

On the other hand, there is something to be said for just riding your bike wherever you happen to point it, in whatever weather you happen to be riding in, on whatever kind of road you happen to have at your disposal.

We should collect as many bikes as we can love, but we should also remember that bikes were meant to be ridden, not pampered. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @Chris

    @the Engine

    @Chris

    @the Engine

    I'm not known as a bike pamperer

    Ivor, we're not tri-athletes, comfort stops are allowed.

    ...and I promise not to shit myself on the KT

    No, but Museeuw will if you turn up to ride with him on fat tyres and cross sized rings.

    @frank is right the KT isn't about comfort bikes

    The V-CX bike is as fast on the road as my road bike and the 49 on the front gives me exactly the same ratios that I use on the road - just misses a few steps. CX is only for P-R obviously. It is an astonishing piece of kit.

  • @pistard

    Yes... an Italian fellow in Indianapolis put this together. He is a vintage Italian specialist.  I can look for that fork. Fun isn't it?

  • @Chris

    I'm currently at n = 3 but that a slightly simplistic way to look at it as 3 = r + m + b where r is road, m is mountain and b is bmx.

    I've had the mountainbike on ebay a couple of times recently but suspect that it was too close to Christmas. I'm not in a rush to get rid of it but if I got a decent price for it I'd put the cash towards another road bike. As for the bmx, I should probably put that on ebay as well an look for a cheap second hand cross bike.

    12 might be Frank's magic number but I suspect that for most of us a realistic maximum would be 3, the #1, a dual purpose cross/graveur and a nine bike. Or the #1, a cross bike and a dual purpose graveur/nine bike. Or combinations thereof.

    That's about where I'm at. My N = 3 for the most part, and I manage to cover most niches okay.

    #1 is the plastic fantastic Bianchi Vertigo, the pure go-fast bike

    #3 is a rather nice aluminum hardtail for going well off the path

    and in between we have this:

    which given my absurdly large stock of old parts can be whatever I want it to be from week to week. Given some 42c knobblies and it'll run cross pretty well, 25c tubulars and it'll run road just fine, 38mm and fenders and a rack and it'll get me to work or across the state. It'll even take downtube shifters if I feel like doing that.

  • @the Engine

    @Chris

    @the Engine

    @Chris

    @the Engine

    I'm not known as a bike pamperer

    Ivor, we're not tri-athletes, comfort stops are allowed.

    ...and I promise not to shit myself on the KT

    No, but Museeuw will if you turn up to ride with him on fat tyres and cross sized rings.

    @frank is right the KT isn't about comfort bikes

    The V-CX bike is as fast on the road as my road bike and the 49 on the front gives me exactly the same ratios that I use on the road - just misses a few steps. CX is only for P-R obviously. It is an astonishing piece of kit.

    That says more about how fast you ride your road bike than it does about versatility or gear ratios.

  • @brett

    Oh my goodness.. yes this is a 92.. I must look up #41. A little far down on the list ... #5 and #9 are very much my concern... as my friends are wont to point out as well. Very often. And shut up legs. I will check out 41!

  • @frank

    We should collect as many bikes as we can love, but we should also remember that bikes were meant to be ridden, not pampered. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

    that place where the VMH just shakes her head. Steel, frank forgot aluminum, carbon, and ti. Bases covered. Road, CX, MTB, SS. Bases covered. Actively looking for N+1.

  • @frank

    @the Engine

    The V-Bike can take much more than a 32mm tire. Its a fucking CX bike, you git. Can't wait to smack you upside the head in Lille for not bringing a road bike on Keepers Tour!

    Road bikes only at Keepers Tour! I thought that was an established rule.

  • The latest folly. Steel. Chain (Izumi super toughness) matching text on the downtube (both are gold, an homage to Fausto Coppi's hour record machine). In addition to satiating Rule #12 interests, I've also noticed that track riders tend to be a little bigger than the road rider. Which means I've okayed a certain laxness in my diet. For power, you know...

  • @RedRanger

    @frank

    @the Engine

    The V-Bike can take much more than a 32mm tire. Its a fucking CX bike, you git. Can't wait to smack you upside the head in Lille for not bringing a road bike on Keepers Tour!

    Road bikes only at Keepers Tour! I thought that was an established rule.

    An unspoken one, that might need to be spoken...

    @Lynn Pauly

    @brett

    Oh my goodness.. yes this is a 92.. I must look up #41. A little far down on the list ... #5 and #9 are very much my concern... as my friends are wont to point out as well. Very often. And shut up legs. I will check out 41!

    I think you are addressing @pistard there, but that bike is a beauty!

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