Going against the grain is something I think I’ve been doing with some degree of success for a good portion of my existence. A lot of people look at my life with a kind of disdain, mixed with a hint of envy and a dash of bemusement; how could I not have a wife/kids/mortgage and get to ride my bike whenever I want, and get paid to do it? Why am I the one flying around the world while they have to perform a daily drill that not-so-remotely mimics that of Winston Smith?

For one who has made a life of not conforming as much as the Illuminati would decree, and who was seen as a serial non-conformist, being a conspirator of a cult-like group based on a set of tenets and with a name that mirrors that of an elite ruling class seems almost bizzare. “Rules are meant to be broken” was a mantra of my youth which now is the antithesis of what I espouse here. And being that guy, means that one or two of the very creeds I’ve coined are routinely broken. And if you think others don’t pick up on that and call me out for it, you’d be well mistaken.

My usual response to such examples is “I make the Rules, I can break them”. Sounds a little authoritarian, I know, but it also demonstrates that I, and you, can do whatever the fuck we want. Listening and learning and drawing inspiration is fine, and recommended, but blindly doing as you’re told (especially by those in extreme positions of power and through mediums we use every day) equates to nothing more than rolling over while you’re being repeatedly poked with a sharp stick and asking “please can I have some more”.

In some cases, there are caveats and post-scripts to virtually every Rule written, and circumstances are varied enough to warrant them. Which is why I’m running a frame pump on the $5 MBK that my father procured recently. A classic bike from the 80s that bears little resemblance to a modern bike (ie it looks way cooler), with components that definitely speak of the era from which they are borne. We weren’t rocking C02 or mini-pumps back then, and we didn’t piss around when it came to road-side inflation. In fact, I was rocking the frame pump until the early 2000s, when my frame tubes were still straight enough to accomodate the long pump without a bowed gap between alloy and plastic. It was the advent of carbon that killed the aesthetic, and then the application, and finally the whole concept.

On this bike though, it’s almost as if it’s mandatory. It looks right, and goddamn if using it isn’t the most liberating experience in my recent Cycling history. What a pleasure to feel significant gulps of air being moved into the tube with long, satisfying strokes, the positive resistance at the bottom of each stroke as the spring gives way to the rubber bumper, the way your whole hand can wrap around the grip and you don’t look like you’re stabbing your other hand with a toy knife. It makes fixing a flat an almost enjoyable, curse-free and, most importantly, brief experience.

It reminds you that in many cases, the past had it right and while we think that everything now has to be smaller and lighter and gives the impression of enhancing our lives, sometimes the tried and true is exactly that.

Brett

Don't blame me

View Comments

  • @Ron

    @the Engine

    First there was @frank‘s sock cuff/booty overlap and now there’s @brett sporting a frame pump. Mark my words, we’ll be nailing posters to the lbs door and having to go on a diet of worms if this carries on.

    Don’t forget that Frank told us he’s pretty sure he’s good at dressing himself and now Brett is telling us he knows he’s going against the grain properly. Worms it is! Fuckin’ worms.

    I have nothing against frame pumps, but I hate mounting them under the TT. Invariably I need to pick the bike up at some point and it’s in the way. Bugger.

    This is some sort of bizzaro loyalty test. It's too coincidental to have two articles this close together about straying from the rules.

    If the next one suggests we can all be pansies on the bike, we may be venturing into Animal Farm territory.

  • @Ccos

    @Ron

    @the Engine

    First there was @frank‘s sock cuff/booty overlap and now there’s @brett sporting a frame pump. Mark my words, we’ll be nailing posters to the lbs door and having to go on a diet of worms if this carries on.

    Don’t forget that Frank told us he’s pretty sure he’s good at dressing himself and now Brett is telling us he knows he’s going against the grain properly. Worms it is! Fuckin’ worms.

    I have nothing against frame pumps, but I hate mounting them under the TT. Invariably I need to pick the bike up at some point and it’s in the way. Bugger.

    This is some sort of bizzaro loyalty test. It’s too coincidental to have two articles this close together about straying from the rules.

    If the next one suggests we can all be pansies on the bike, we may be venturing into Animal Farm territory.

    In defence of the @Frank, I could understand if he's going a little crazy through the drop in vitamin D levels that comes at the onset of winter...in @brett's case it might be his brain starting to melt after being exposed to some actual warm temperatures since crossing back over the ditch .

  • @KogaLover

    @Brett But my sincere compliments for the pictures, I cannot even detect the strings or the air-hooks that you used to keep your bike so straight. Honestly, how do you do that?

    Maybe put the saddle a bit more aft and tilt the bars a bit more level?

    Ah, a trick of the trade... have someone (my dad in this case) hold the wheel, body out of frame, count to 3 and let go/shoot/grab bike before it falls.

    The bars can't be levelled without a severe case of the De Vlaemincks to the wrists, they are an odd shape...

    I ended up with the saddle nose pointing nearly vertical to get it comfortable. My Flite will fix this eventually.

  • @Mikael Liddy

    In defence of the @Frank, I could understand if he’s going a little crazy through the drop in vitamin D levels that comes at the onset of winter…in @brett‘s case it might be his brain starting to melt after being exposed to some actual warm temperatures since crossing back over the ditch .

    I don't know how anyone lives in this fucking climate!

  • You've seem it before but what the heck.  Original Bluemel pump on original pins.

  • Note correct position for a frame pump. Also it's a Zefal.

    I realise there are a number of rule violations but notice the lack of an EPMS and also I was only 15 at the time.

  • >>> how could I not have a wife/kids/mortgage and get to ride my bike whenever I want, and get paid to do it <<<

    Hmmmm... I wonder if that were case for me if I'd enjoy riding the bike as much as I do ?!?

1 3 4 5 6 7 11
Share
Published by
Brett

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago