Categories: Accessories and GearFolkloreNostalgia

On the Rivet

Pete Boydell shows us what Rule #5 looks like.

I’m proud to declare that I am fluent in three languages: Hyperbole, Dutch, and English. All of them rubbish. The language of the peloton is, by and large, the most beautiful and expressive in French and Italian, which already make anything sound sexy. But they really excel in le langage du peloton: Sur la plaque, La Volupte, Grinta, La Fringale – each of those smash their English translations with pure linguistic voluptuousness.

The exception is, of course, the term “on the rivet”. Don’t ask my why we all slide forward on our saddles when we’re riding hard, but we all do. Slip your saddle forward a bit to accommodate the forward position, and you’ll still slip forward once you start laying down The Five. It’s one of life’s great mysteries, alongside gravity and how the frosting got inside the twinkies.

Saddles used to have a rivet on the front, to hold the the crotch-numbing slab of leather in place because Cycling saddles at the time were modelled after Western horse saddles. And whenever you were well and truly on your limit, you’d have your rump precariously perched right over that brass nubbin. Hence the term, on the rivet.

To kindly demonstrate the point, no one does “On the Rivet” better than former Manchester DC legend, Pete Five Face Boydell. Even his saddle is having a shit.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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Oli says:

Nov 19 2015 at 11:53 am

@Teocalli

Ah sorry mate, I thought you were schooling me!
freddy says:

Nov 19 2015 at 7:41 pm

@chris

@frank

@KogaLover

@Chipomarc

In fact I’ve stopped waving or even smiling at a passing rider that doesn’t look proper.

Got the same inclination, however am I then not violating Rule #43 or miss out on an opportunity to elaborate on Rule #3?

Fair point; but Rules #3 and #43 don’t mean you have to be an enabler. You’re better off sitting him or her down at the pub and giving them the management sandwich (compliment – criticism – compliment) than encourage them with a nod.

Not to mention, some folks are simply too far gone.

Spotted in London today – @frank expressing his displeasure at Boris’ Three Point System fail.

...or expressing his displeasure at the woman ahead of him because she just rode him off her wheel.
Barracuda says:

Nov 19 2015 at 7:49 pm

@freddy

@chris

@frank

@KogaLover

@Chipomarc

In fact I’ve stopped waving or even smiling at a passing rider that doesn’t look proper.

Got the same inclination, however am I then not violating Rule #43 or miss out on an opportunity to elaborate on Rule #3?

Fair point; but Rules #3 and #43 don’t mean you have to be an enabler. You’re better off sitting him or her down at the pub and giving them the management sandwich (compliment – criticism – compliment) than encourage them with a nod.

Not to mention, some folks are simply too far gone.

Spotted in London today – @frank expressing his displeasure at Boris’ Three Point System fail.

…or expressing his displeasure at the woman ahead of him because she just rode him off her wheel.

Nah, its because of the state of that helmet, bloody terrible angle !
frank says:

Nov 20 2015 at 11:42 pm

@Michael

Sounds like good fun, mate!