Categories: Accessories and GearFolkloreNostalgia

On the Rivet

Pete Boydell shows us what Rule #5 looks like.

I’m proud to declare that I am fluent in three languages: Hyperbole, Dutch, and English. All of them rubbish. The language of the peloton is, by and large, the most beautiful and expressive in French and Italian, which already make anything sound sexy. But they really excel in le langage du peloton: Sur la plaque, La Volupte, Grinta, La Fringale – each of those smash their English translations with pure linguistic voluptuousness.

The exception is, of course, the term “on the rivet”. Don’t ask my why we all slide forward on our saddles when we’re riding hard, but we all do. Slip your saddle forward a bit to accommodate the forward position, and you’ll still slip forward once you start laying down The Five. It’s one of life’s great mysteries, alongside gravity and how the frosting got inside the twinkies.

Saddles used to have a rivet on the front, to hold the the crotch-numbing slab of leather in place because Cycling saddles at the time were modelled after Western horse saddles. And whenever you were well and truly on your limit, you’d have your rump precariously perched right over that brass nubbin. Hence the term, on the rivet.

To kindly demonstrate the point, no one does “On the Rivet” better than former Manchester DC legend, Pete Five Face Boydell. Even his saddle is having a shit.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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frank says:

Nov 18 2015 at 5:42 pm

@KogaLover

@Chipomarc

In fact I’ve stopped waving or even smiling at a passing rider that doesn’t look proper.

Got the same inclination, however am I then not violating Rule #43 or miss out on an opportunity to elaborate on Rule #3?

Fair point; but Rules 3 and 43 don't mean you have to be an enabler. You're better off sitting him or her down at the pub and giving them the management sandwich (compliment - criticism - compliment) than encourage them with a nod.

Not to mention, some folks are simply too far gone.
frank says:

Nov 18 2015 at 5:44 pm

@Apex Nadir

Yes.
piwakawaka says:

Nov 18 2015 at 7:16 pm

without the thing that must not be named we wouldn't have this, the first six km of the 10km final on the weekend, love veloviewer.
frank says:

Nov 19 2015 at 1:48 am

@Teocalli

Bucket phase 2

Assisted bucket drinking:
RobSandy says:

Nov 19 2015 at 2:35 am

@frank

@Ccos

@wiscot

@RobSandy

@freddy

…and this was before Strava, right?

Have to say this, with no disrespect to RobSandy, but if it’s on Strava, I really don’t give a fuck! Strava’s just another enabler of smart phone addiction.

Amen brother (ironically typed on my cell phone…)

This. @RobSandy must have momentarily been hit with the Anti-V stick, which is not unlike the Forget Me Stick.

I'll stop chuckling to myself now. I'll go out and ride many time around Maindy in the rain and wind tomorrow morning as V-Penance.
RobSandy says:

Nov 19 2015 at 2:37 am

@frank

@Chipomarc

@wiscot

Strong work all around. I think Strava can be a good tool, but it leads to really bad training habits where you’re always trying to set a PB on all your favorite segments.

I’ve been a self-professed nod-snob for ages, too. It’s practically a moral obligation riding around in V-Kit all the time.

Once I have my V-Kit I'll be able to take my nob-snobbishness to a whole new level. Hint Hint.
Oli says:

Nov 19 2015 at 2:48 am

@Teocalli

Er, yes I know where the rivets are thanks. I've seen one or two Brooks saddles in my time lol. My point is that if you're 'on the rivet' you shouldn't be able to see said rivet, which means that if you're ogling a man's crotchal region and you can still see the nose of the saddle (where the rivet is, as you've pointed out in your excellent illustration) then by definition said man cannot be 'on the rivet'. Ipso facto, e pluribus unum, citizen's divorce time.
Teocalli says:

Nov 19 2015 at 2:57 am

@Oli

Yup - I was only trying to illustrate your point in agreement that if your are sitting on said item you probably should not be looking in other said dark place.
chris says:

Nov 19 2015 at 8:47 am

@frank

@KogaLover

@Chipomarc

In fact I’ve stopped waving or even smiling at a passing rider that doesn’t look proper.

Got the same inclination, however am I then not violating Rule #43 or miss out on an opportunity to elaborate on Rule #3?

Fair point; but Rules #3 and #43 don’t mean you have to be an enabler. You’re better off sitting him or her down at the pub and giving them the management sandwich (compliment – criticism – compliment) than encourage them with a nod.

Not to mention, some folks are simply too far gone.

Spotted in London today - @frank expressing his displeasure at Boris' Three Point System fail.
Michael says:

Nov 19 2015 at 10:40 am

@chuckp

@RobSandy

I’m sorry to have started the Strava debate again. Couldn’t resist. I don’t even have a smartphone! And find Strava very useful for recording training data, and also staying motivated by checking out what my mates have been up to on the bike.

I use Strava mostly because it automatically records everything I used to have to hand write into a training log way back in the day. I mostly care about how far I ride and my total miles for the year. I worry less about how fast I ride because I know I’m not anymore (and that assumes I once was). I keep tabs on friends in my “peer group,” i.e., old guys, and there’s always a little friendly competition among us some segments. I only follow people I know and want to follow. If people I don’t know want to follow me (I don’t know why they would but some do), I’m flattered.

I'm new to the site, so I don't know all the Strava backstory.

For me locally, my team all use Strava and we use it for training, to push each other. It also has made me a better cyclist allowing me to push my self a little harder! We trade KOM's all the time, then we heckle the losers until, we become the looser and the process just resets. it also is good to see how is sandbagging on ride and how is really pushing the pace.

On top of "on the rivet" this is what I look like in the last lap of any CX race!