The most important moment in a man’s life is the first time they have a beer. I place it on the list above sex and having a child because sex usually only happens as a direct result of drinking beer. As for having children, I’m given to understand they are poop factories at first, then promptly become loud, and then obnoxious before they resent you for the next fifteen years. If my math is right, it isn’t until after about twenty-five years that you can stand them and the investment starts paying off. Given the instant gratification of beer verses the ROI on child rearing, its not even a close. But the real clincher is that men love solving problems and there is no chance of solving problems if you don’t create them first.
As Cyclists, beer also forms an important part of our training regimen; after a day of crushing our opponents and laying down enormous helpings of The V, it is critical that we give our muscles the rest and nutrients they require in order to rebuild and become ever stronger. Required nutrients include things like carbohydrates, sugars, and proteins. As it happens, beer is made of things like – wait for it – carbohydrates, sugars, and proteins. According to alcoholic nutritionists I’ve spoken to as well as some recent studies, beer taken in moderation is the ideal recovery beverage after a hard workout.
But there’s that annoying word again, “moderation” – always with the moderation, these scientists. Apparently, you can’t go and get hammered every time you ride a bike or the alcohol will have other effects like making you fat, stupid, and bloated. Alcohol slows your metabolism and lowers your impulse control, which forms a double-whammy as after you get drunk and stuff your face, your body will have a harder time burning those extra calories.
When I started getting serious about losing weight and improving my climbing (this was immediately after my first ride up Haleakala), I completely ignored the possibility of giving up on booze as I’d much rather starve myself than stop drinking. But the fact is that dieting and training only yielded limited results. When I finally accepted the notion of reducing my alcohol intake, my weight started to drop and my riding immediately improved. The most surprising side effect was how much better my sleeping patterns became which also feeds into post-ride recovery.
I’ll never give up beer completely because I’d hate to be without problems to solve, but for anyone who is struggling to lose weight, take note: diet and exercise are key elements, but you won’t get there without taking a hard look at your alcohol consumption. I’m not suggesting you stop drinking altogether; drink a beer or two after riding to help your recovery, but beyond that alcohol will get in the way of reaching your goals. Unless your goal is to drink more, in which case I remind you that your liver is the only organ that can regenerate itself.
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Oh beer how I love thee. Somewhere there's a photo of me barely old enough to walk sucking the suds out of Grandpa's Rainer Beer.
The trick is as a lot of you have already stated: moderation. As Frank and Geoff can attest, I can get some beers down the gullet. A beer after work or after a ride is super nice, tho I've been finding that as I get "on in years" it's harder to drop that winter spare tire. I suppose if I wanted to be super tip top condition wise, I need to move to a dry county in Kentucky, or to a country that prohibits it's consumption. But neither of those things are going to happen.
@kixsand
I LOVE ice cream but have given it up (even the frozen yogurt blend stuff) because my cholesterol is on the high side (and my Dad had a history of this - and heart disease - as well). I do miss it, however. I went for a physical once and the doctor would not tell me over the phone what my number was or that he wanted to talk to me about cutting it (ice cream) out. So, he referred to it as my 'dietary indiscretions.' I had no idea what he was talking about and thought I was somehow cheating on ice cream with donuts (I love them too) and didn't realize it. Anyway, I need to cut out the sweets as well - probably still too many of those. As far as alcohol, I drink a little red wine (good for the blood and heart) with dinner and that's about it.
All things in moderation. Including moderation.
@PeakInTwoYears
Watch out, or @andrew will get you:
@andrew
@scaler911
Hah, there is a picture of me like this too. One of the first things I remember learning to say is "daddy can I have a sip of beer?" Having grown up in St. Louis in the '70s, the "beer" was actually Budweiser.
@Ron
Our pup has grown up - she's about a year and change now. Don't let this photo fool you; she is still totes cray-cray. Strap in for the long haul, dude, but once you get past the potty training, you should be all clear for the worst of it.
Ha! We were going through photo albums over the holidays and there was one of my Old Man in just a pair of shorts, aged probably five, and he was sharpening a knife at an outdoor flywheel sharpener his father had set up at their house. Both of them love a razor sharp kitchen or hunting knife.
And when I spoke to my father this weekend he told me a new story. He's spending February with my mother down in FL to avoid all the snow in the north. Well, the kitchen knives at their rental condo weren't cuttin' it. So, he found some smooth enough garden blocks at their place and used those to sharpen the knives. A full-time resident came out and asked him what the hell he was doing.
Great photo, Frank! Looks like Queen of the Land...I can imagine the weeds as tall trees that's she's towering over.
Chrissy -
I really enjoyed the first two paragraphs of this article. The rest of it and all of your comments have mostly just made me feel bad about myself. I thought my policy of generally stopping after 2-3 MRBs was prudent, but it seems perhaps I need to reconsider.
I guess the reconciliation that has to be made in the bike versus beer debate is this: after a few, moderate kilometers, you feel great, after too many kilometers you feel bad - but in a good way. After a couple of beers you feel great, but after too many beers you feel bad - in a bad way.
(And yes, before the smart-arses point it out, I know there's no such thing as too many kilometers, but you know what I mean.)