The most important moment in a man’s life is the first time they have a beer. I place it on the list above sex and having a child because sex usually only happens as a direct result of drinking beer. As for having children, I’m given to understand they are poop factories at first, then promptly become loud, and then obnoxious before they resent you for the next fifteen years. If my math is right, it isn’t until after about twenty-five years that you can stand them and the investment starts paying off. Given the instant gratification of beer verses the ROI on child rearing, its not even a close. But the real clincher is that men love solving problems and there is no chance of solving problems if you don’t create them first.
As Cyclists, beer also forms an important part of our training regimen; after a day of crushing our opponents and laying down enormous helpings of The V, it is critical that we give our muscles the rest and nutrients they require in order to rebuild and become ever stronger. Required nutrients include things like carbohydrates, sugars, and proteins. As it happens, beer is made of things like – wait for it – carbohydrates, sugars, and proteins. According to alcoholic nutritionists I’ve spoken to as well as some recent studies, beer taken in moderation is the ideal recovery beverage after a hard workout.
But there’s that annoying word again, “moderation” – always with the moderation, these scientists. Apparently, you can’t go and get hammered every time you ride a bike or the alcohol will have other effects like making you fat, stupid, and bloated. Alcohol slows your metabolism and lowers your impulse control, which forms a double-whammy as after you get drunk and stuff your face, your body will have a harder time burning those extra calories.
When I started getting serious about losing weight and improving my climbing (this was immediately after my first ride up Haleakala), I completely ignored the possibility of giving up on booze as I’d much rather starve myself than stop drinking. But the fact is that dieting and training only yielded limited results. When I finally accepted the notion of reducing my alcohol intake, my weight started to drop and my riding immediately improved. The most surprising side effect was how much better my sleeping patterns became which also feeds into post-ride recovery.
I’ll never give up beer completely because I’d hate to be without problems to solve, but for anyone who is struggling to lose weight, take note: diet and exercise are key elements, but you won’t get there without taking a hard look at your alcohol consumption. I’m not suggesting you stop drinking altogether; drink a beer or two after riding to help your recovery, but beyond that alcohol will get in the way of reaching your goals. Unless your goal is to drink more, in which case I remind you that your liver is the only organ that can regenerate itself.
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@frank
Rule 52 still applies
Being a Brit I have to drink TEA as a post ride recovery drink.
@Marcus
That's because there are also strict rules about insulting people, so they might think I'm a cunt but they can't say it, even when they're drunk.
As a lawyer you might appreciate this learned argument about the difference between 'fuck you' and 'fuck off' from a recent court case.
If I'm ever up on a similar charge I'm calling Frank as an expert witness.
In all seriousness, it is taken very strictly and there are regular cases of people losing their temper with call centre operators, shop staff etc and then being arrested and charged. I had a run-in with a service centre droid last week who when queried in front of her supervisor just barefaced lied about what she had done and said. It was on the tip of my tongue to say "She's lying" but if I had it would have been game over.
Woops, forgot link... http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/courts/f-word-is-not-an-insult-argues-director-in-dubai-court-1.1250652
As most probably know, the hour (or even half-hour) after physical exercise is the most important opportunity for the body to rebuild its glycogen stores -- i.e. make you stronger -- and alcohol interferes directly with the body's ability to do this! For god's sake, at least make sure you've drunk enough water and eaten plenty of carbs and protein before you have an ale. Otherwise you're only making the next rides harder, instead of maximising the benefit from the work you've just done.
Alcohol-free Bavarian wheat beer is popular in Germany after runs and rides; it may taste like piss, but at least it won't give you man-boobs.
@kixsand Congratulations and more power to you. I'm a social drinker - I just don't drink by myself - never have. I've more booze in my house than I'll ever get through unless I have a ton of folks over. If we ever get through this shitty winter, I think that's what I'll do.
@andrew
As far as getting the work done, drinking one beer (Newcastle Brown Ale) right before a ride gives an immediate reserve -- and should not effect any abilities. Used this plan once or twice and worked each time.
@unversio Ha, never thought about before the ride, though I think I'll stick with what's been said above about wanting to be sharp and clear.
Last year I did a ride around San Diego on a stinking hot day and stopped just after half-way for burgers in Coronado. I'd gone through 1.5L of water and was still thirsty, so had a pint of something malty and delicious, which didn't touch the sides, so had another. I remember thinking on the ferry over past the naval base that I couldn't feel any effects of the beer, but bloody hell did I suffer all the way back up to La Jolla, and not just because the saddle on the loaner was too narrow for me. Never again.
Ha! This is true!
Our bodies convert alcohol to sugar. Remove the alcohol and your body still wants sugar. I went from never eating a chocolate bar or ice cream or really dessert of any kind to where I now have to indulge from time to time!
For many years I've been known at one of the Seattle tech industry's most visionary drinkers. That reputation my be slightly mythologized (by me) to Dean Martin proportions, but like all good myths, it's based on a grain of truth.
I spent my 20's as a proud binge drinker, my Celtic and Germanic background clear advantages in the party sphere. This allowed me to cultivate a reputation as a heavyweight consumer, but also as A Professional. I don't get falling down drunk. I great really, really intoxicated. The problem has always been that my iron German control enables me to be much more wasted than I look, and this leads me to unwise descisions and potentially harmful situations.
Last summer, while still regularly drinking, I lost 23 pounds, mostly on the bike. And by drinking I mean at least 1/2 a bottle of wine per night, celebratory MRB's, and liquor, mostly in the form of vodka, Fireball, and scotch to wash it down.
But a confluence of events over the past year have forced me to take a long, difficult look at my drinking. The first being the fact that my best friend began a relationship with an alcoholic. Not a drinker, mind you. This person has no taste or moderation. This is a "put away as many ice-beers as possible" kind of guy. Not a bad chap when sober, but those fleeting moments grew increasingly rare as their love blossomed, so my friend and I began to drift apart. Her man's performance at parties and other social functions made me less and less inclined to drink at all, as I felt someone had to be responsible if Shit Went Down.
The other part was my performance on the bike. I'm getting the legs of my mid 20's back and it feels fantastic. It's been 15 years since my guns were this magnificent. And back then, I could drink with the best and ride just as hard. But these days... well, the numbers don't lie. Fucking Strava. But the numbers are there in black and orange. The more I drink, the less I perform.
So ever since last fall, I've scaled back. As of the new year my drinking has become rare. I did a 130 km on Superbowl Sunday and recovered with a round of Fat Tire. Since then, nothing.
I don't really miss it - it became a habit, not always a pleasure. I don't think I'll ever *quit*, per se, because I'm not a quitter. But for now at least, I just need a break. Some space to grow.
That said, I don't really feel any different. And I've gained a little weight, but that's perhaps only because I've traded alcoholism for an addiction to Snapple. The staff at my favorite Irish bar think I'm sick. My friends think I've been replaced by an android. The fact that it freaks people out so much that I'm *not* drinking tells me that I'm probably making the right choice.