Categories: NostalgiaThe Rules

Reverence: Inhaling a Wasp

Jan Ullrich: Inhaling Wasps since 1997

I have to admit, until BigRingRiding bestowed upon us the honor of gracing their site with our humble image, I had never heard the term “Inhaling a Wasp” being used as a climbing tactic.  My Great Aunt once swallowed a wasp; she was rather portly and since I think the wasp might have been in her cocktail I'm reasonably certain she wasn't riding a bike at the time – to say nothing of climbing. I believe my Great Uncle poured a pint of motor oil down her throat to treat the situation and I'm assuming that he did this as an erstwhile remedy and not out of vindictiveness. I can't imagine it was “pleasant” in the traditional sense of the term, although the family story doesn't detail how it all worked out for her, the oil, or my Great Uncle.

But back to cycling.  I think what all of us here at the Velominati like most is The V being dished out using a Big Gulp or bigger container.  At the end of the day, there is little less interesting than watching a herd of robots pedal their bikes up a steep hill without the least bit of emotion or effort showing on their faces, but with loads of speed in their legs. Common competitive wisdom is to never let your rivals know you're suffering, but bollocks to that. Whether I'm on the bike or watching a race, nothing beats seeing it all left on the road, with the pain of each magnificent stroke showing on the faces of those doing the dishing.

Inhaling a Wasp is the look a rider has on their face when they've dropped their jaw down like the shovel on a front-loader, scooping up mouthfuls of air in an effort not to quench, but to fuel the fire burning hot in their lungs and legs.  Jan Ullrich was the master of this look, and any time I'm engaging in a long climb, steeled against the suffering I know is to come farther up the road, I channel my best Ullrich look and take solace in the notion that despite the squares I'm pedaling, perhaps I might at least look a the slightest bit like Der Kaiser.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Ullrich/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • Cavendish can never be forgiven for passing Cipo cycling on one leg in the Tour of Cali in 08. Never.

    However if Cipo did this to any rider it would have been cool. But that is why God invented double standards.

  • @ Brett and Frank; both very well put and nicely reasoned responses, and both good enough for me. :-D
    In the spirit of that, I'll agree to disagree but will continue to lurk around this very cool blog...Thanks for the welcome, and for the lack of flaming. Pedal on, Oli

  • @Marcus

    Cavendish can never be forgiven for passing Cipo cycling on one leg in the Tour of Cali in 08. Never.
    However if Cipo did this to any rider it would have been cool. But that is why God invented double standards.

    Yeah, I totally agree, if Cav was not so fast he would be totally fucked but you are right, for this offense alone he is a douche nozzle forever. Thanks for reminding me of that. Whot a dick.

  • @Marcus

    Cavendish can never be forgiven for passing Cipo cycling on one leg in the Tour of Cali in 08. Never.
    However if Cipo did this to any rider it would have been cool. But that is why God invented double standards.

    ++1. The beauty of being a "fan".

  • @Oli Brooke-White
    I saw your "Bianchi Corner" on your blog. Wicked cool. You're Aces in my book, just for that. Funny, I never loved Bianchis until I became inducted into the Grand Performance Bike Shop in St. Paul, MN where that was what they pedaled. Dan, the owner, and Andrew, the manager, are just fucking awesome. Total convert. Until I bought my Cervelo, I would scoff at all non-Bianchis. Another case to be made for the quality of the LBS being key.

    @Brett
    YESTHEYARBOTHWORTHABUILDUP.

  • Brett, the Bosomworth would be very cool - I used to have one and regret selling it on to this day. The Gios is actually a Vitus, so if you like the feel of an old aluminium frame then go for it.

    Frank, glad you like the Bianchi Wing of my workshop! I love my two TSX ones, and still think they are among the best riding steel frames I've ever owned, and I've owned a LOT.

    P.S. I think some of the LA Tours were very exciting - '99, '03 and '04 particularly. I wonder if your anti-Lance bias means you miss how good a lot of the racing was. And one more cat amongst the pigeons, I am also going to go on the record as being a Cavendish fan...

  • @Oli Brooke-White

    So, would it be kosher if I build that Bosomworth up with new Chorus 11 speed? Can get a good deal on groupset, and then get you to build some nice 32 hole rims 2 cross for the cobbles... Or if you know of any cool steel frames around?

  • And yeah, 2003 was a pretty exciting Tour, thought Ulle might have had him there for a moment...

  • @Oli Brooke-White
    Absolutely love the TSX, which is what my steel is. Planning a rebuild to Chorus 10spd if I can get my hands on the old alu Ergos.

    @Oli Brooke-White, @Brett
    2003 was aces. I don't recall any excitement in '04, some in '01. '99, of course because he was the underdog.

    2003 was simply an awesome Tour. One of the best ever. But still '89, '90, and '98 would be among the best in recent memory. '07 and '08 were good, too.

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