I have to admit, until BigRingRiding bestowed upon us the honor of gracing their site with our humble image, I had never heard the term “Inhaling a Wasp” being used as a climbing tactic. My Great Aunt once swallowed a wasp; she was rather portly and since I think the wasp might have been in her cocktail I'm reasonably certain she wasn't riding a bike at the time – to say nothing of climbing. I believe my Great Uncle poured a pint of motor oil down her throat to treat the situation and I'm assuming that he did this as an erstwhile remedy and not out of vindictiveness. I can't imagine it was “pleasant” in the traditional sense of the term, although the family story doesn't detail how it all worked out for her, the oil, or my Great Uncle.
But back to cycling. I think what all of us here at the Velominati like most is The V being dished out using a Big Gulp or bigger container. At the end of the day, there is little less interesting than watching a herd of robots pedal their bikes up a steep hill without the least bit of emotion or effort showing on their faces, but with loads of speed in their legs. Common competitive wisdom is to never let your rivals know you're suffering, but bollocks to that. Whether I'm on the bike or watching a race, nothing beats seeing it all left on the road, with the pain of each magnificent stroke showing on the faces of those doing the dishing.
Inhaling a Wasp is the look a rider has on their face when they've dropped their jaw down like the shovel on a front-loader, scooping up mouthfuls of air in an effort not to quench, but to fuel the fire burning hot in their lungs and legs. Jan Ullrich was the master of this look, and any time I'm engaging in a long climb, steeled against the suffering I know is to come farther up the road, I channel my best Ullrich look and take solace in the notion that despite the squares I'm pedaling, perhaps I might at least look a the slightest bit like Der Kaiser.
[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Ullrich/”/]
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
@Brett
A perfect answer. Thanks Brett
hey fella's, good to be back, and man there is alot to get caught up on.
good article frank, i have never heard it described as such but point well taken
not to flog what everyone else has already said, but here is one I have always thought could hang a shovel out to gather air w/the best of them.
I inhaled a bee while riding once. The little bastard stung my tongue - I had to pull the stinger out when I got home.
Sadly the moment was not recorded for comparison to the photos above.
I did finish my ride though.
@Souleur
Oh, yeah - Mr. Sixty always had his Big Ring face on, and the requisite shovel mouth to go with it. Great on, Souleur!
@ChrisO
That happened to me once, too. I wasn't climbing at the time, though, so didn't realize the utility it had in that arena.
Really gives a rotten taste in the mouth though, eh?
You guys would've been proud of me today. I set a goal for next season to do our local climb in under 30 minutes. It's just under 10k and averages around 6% with a stretch of 12% near the top. I did a personal best (31 minutes flat) up it about a month ago while wearing Frank's Velominati jersey. Today I was sans the jersey but I did have the Velominati throne...
...and I made my goal a season early! 29:15! and I also accomplished a little ancillary goal of riding the whole climb in the big ring*. The 12% was a little tough in the big ring but I Rule 5'd it and stood on the pedal and grunted it out. I'm still not quite sure I understand what true suffering on the bike it though.
*Compact crank
@Cyclops
Nice one. What really matters is what your biggest cog is, a 50-21 is less rule 5 than a 53-21 but 50-23 is quite a bit better than 53-27.
I guess a 50x28 (though I was only in that on the 12% part) is more like Rule 5 "Light" then. I'll be needing to knock another 5 minutes off my time (and ten pounds off my belly) to hang with the Cat 3's in town but considering that it took me over 42 minute to climb it 4 years ago I heading in the right direction.
@Cyclops
Nicely done, mate! That's 20kph average or so, right? That's a mighty fine rate! Have you done Bogey in Boise?
Nope, but I hear it's a killer. The harshest climb we have around here is Teton Pass between Jackson, Wy and Victor, ID. It's 8k of 10%. The last time I climbed it a butterfly flew through my front wheel completely unscathed.
This needs to go in the Lexicon.