Categories: Belgian AffirmationsKeepers TourLa Vie VelominatusLook ProNostalgiaThe Hardmen

Something from Nothing

The weight of fatigue is taking its pound of flesh

If the only kind of wind they have in Belgium is a headwind, then the only kind of flats they have in Northern France are false. In Vlaanderen, they specialize in a delectable combination of the two. (Everything that isn’t a windy false flat, it appears, is a windy cobbled climb.)

The most obvious way to get your head kicked in on a bike is to point your bike down a road bespeckled with loads of climbing. It doesn’t matter what sorts of hills or mountains you’ve got at your disposal; the Commutative Property of Climbing states that big climbs and little climbs will jack you up equally so long as you do the same amount of climbing. But a long grind into the wind on a dead-straight false flat might be the most mentally agonizing kind of riding you will ever do.

The riding we do on Keepers Tour generally revolves around the iconic roads in the region, but to focus on those portions alone is like evaluating an individual’s life via their photo albums; some of the most amazing moments are experienced in the margins where no one is looking for them.

The rides we set upon were long days in the saddle, often leaving from the gite and requiring some time to arrive at the spectacle of cobbles or climbs; 20km to the Trouée l’Arenberg or 30km back from the Carrefour de l’Abre, for instance. For me, the rides back are what stand out the most; the group is weary but excited from having ridden some of the most amazing and difficult roads our Sport knows, and the late afternoon winds are blowing swiftly across the landscape. Talk is sparse as our legs are heavy with fatigue and we are each of us confronting the familiar barriers our minds and bodies lay before us at times such as these.

These moments when the body and mind want to give in but something intangible drives us on are my most cherished moments of Cycling in general and Keepers Tour in particular. These are moments when each rider is riding on the strength of those around them. The Laws of Physics tell us that it is impossible to make something from nothing, that the only energy we get out of the system is that which was fed into it.

The Laws of Physics obviously don’t apply to Cyclists.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

TBONE says:

Apr 23 2015 at 6:58 pm

@frank

@unversio

Frank, you finally made a Rush reference.

If I did, it was by accident. Fucking Rush.

Watch it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTyeKiXhcUg

Anyways, I'm sure you've all heard about the bunker oil spill that we had here in Vancouver. I went down to the beach, and found a tar ball. It will likely take thousands of kilometers and knee grease to wear it down.
Kris Fernhout says:

Apr 23 2015 at 7:15 pm

As a wise man once said (I"m sure he was a cyclist as well) that with rides like you've described: "90% of the ride is half mental". And that truth is multiplied by a factor of 10 when said difficult hill and headwind infested ride is a solo ride.
scaler911 says:

Apr 23 2015 at 8:44 pm

Fab! That's an amazing shot, even more so that it was taken over your shoulder Frank.

Wiser folk would never tolerate the kind of abuse we put ourselves through, especially since we do it on purpose. There are only a very few sports I can think of where the participants not only seek out, but live for this kind of experience.
Chris says:

Apr 24 2015 at 1:08 am

@frank

@Chris

@frank the deep dull ache that’s been hiding in my legs since Sunday has been driving me harder on the bike this week. Not because I need to get back from some hallowed parcours but because I know that to give in to it would waste the effort I’ve put in already and that Friday’s rest day and diner out will be all that bit sweeter for it.

Off the bike, I’m better for it as well.

I love that feeling. My training was waaaaaay behind before KT and mostly every day of the trip was just good solid base training, sitting on the front in the wind and tapping out a tempo. That’s what my legs felt like every afternoon, so good.

I've just read that women can orgasm whilst taking part in Yoga, a Yogasm. I wouldn't know about that but I suspect that it has nothing on the feeling we experience when pushing our weary legs to hold cadence and power to drive us across the grey desolation of Northern France.
Chris says:

Apr 24 2015 at 1:10 am

@frank I'm a level one Velominatus? I feel worthless.
rfreese888 says:

Apr 24 2015 at 2:38 am

@unversio

@frank

@unversio

Frank, you finally made a Rush reference.

If I did, it was by accident. Fucking Rush.

And even better it was early Neil Peart, Rush — 2112

I thought we were talking Limbaugh - either way I did not catch the reference.

I did see Rush my sophmore year in high school at Reunion Arena in Dallas and it was my first concert with lasers. They were rocking Tom Sawyer and this fan of green lazers came shredding through the smoke machine.

My twin brother and I turned to look at each other with this gob-smacked look on our faces. It was epic.
rfreese888 says:

Apr 24 2015 at 2:42 am

@rfreese888

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bh7bYNAHXxw
Ron says:

Apr 24 2015 at 7:03 am

Cycling, Rush, and Bubbles 'n' Ricky. My universe is unified, my life is complete. All is well on this Friday.

Can't wait to see Maniac Cop tonight on 35mm at the retro showing at my local theatre...
frank says:

Apr 24 2015 at 12:55 pm

@Chris

@frank I’m a level one Velominatus? I feel worthless.

PM me your old email address and I'll port your comment history over when I get a chance.
frank says:

Apr 24 2015 at 12:57 pm

@rfreese888

@unversio

@frank

@unversio

Frank, you finally made a Rush reference.

If I did, it was by accident. Fucking Rush.

And even better it was early Neil Peart, Rush — 2112

I thought we were talking Limbaugh – either way I did not catch the reference.

I did see Rush my sophmore year in high school at Reunion Arena in Dallas and it was my first concert with lasers. They were rocking Tom Sawyer and this fan of green lazers came shredding through the smoke machine.

My twin brother and I turned to look at each other with this gob-smacked look on our faces. It was epic.

I saw them at some point at the Target Center in Minneapolis. They sucked. I was actually a fan before that (hence, I went to the show) but never since. Worst show I ever saw, and I'm including frat parties and coffee shop gigs in that list.