A technique crafted in the wheel of Le Professeur

A friend recently asked my advice for how to prepare for the longest ride he’d ever done. My approach is somewhat unorthodox when it comes to this sort of thing; I like to train to ride a lot farther than the event itself, and whenever possible, throw in a handful of sessions with my old friend, The Man with the Hammer. I suggested he do the same, just to make sure he understands the alchemy of combining total exhaustion with the reality of still having a long way to ride. Based on his response suggesting the idea somehow contained a bad taste, I assume he didn’t take my advice.

I didn’t invent this technique. De Vlaeminck was known for his marathon training sessions involving a diabolical mixture of V:00 am starts and distances of 400km in preparation for his favorite race, Paris-Roubaix. Fignon was known to head out for day-long rides with little or no food in his pockets with the express intent of meeting the Man with the Hammer.

The Man with the Hammer holds a special place in the mythology of Cycling; ruthless and unpredictable, he lurks about in the shadows, ready to strike at any time. Most fear him, but I have been bopped on the head by him so many times, I start to feel lonely for his visits after a few months. I sense him in the nape of my neck long before he draws his hammer down with his judgement. On long solo rides, when the mind retreats into The Tunnel, I often find myself carrying silent conversations. Perhaps it is he to whom I speak in those dark hours.

His presence as a constant companion may not be as insane as it sounds. Explorers have often spoken of feeling that another presence was traveling with them; the early teams who attempted to scale Mount Everest had difficulty reconciling the numbers in their party due to the convincing sensation that another had been with them. All three men in Shackleton’s party who crossed the island of South Georgia independently confided in their captain that they believed a fourth to be traveling with them. This, I am certain, is the great spirit of the Man with the Hammer. We must not fear him; though he may be ready to strike, he is a benevolent spirit.

There is something purifying in being completely depleted and still having to carry on; it flushes your transgressions from you in a cleansing flood. Don’t avoid this; seek it out; every rider should endeavor to experience his visits at least a few times per year. They remind you that you can push beyond your limits, that the only thing bridging the chasm to a goal is having the will to act.

Whenever I find myself weighed down and questioning myself, I head out on my bicycle with no food in the pockets and with the express intent of meeting my old friend, the Man with the Hammer.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @halfwheel

    You would think with my advanced years i would know better but last weekend i checked the forecast and saw pissing rain and head wind at 30kmh and a solo ride of 170k I would have taken the pragmatic approach and called off but no invoking #9 i set off with a wry smile . I falsely thought i had met the man before but it turns out he was only stopping briefly for a chat. The bastard took his big fuck off hammer to my head and left me a gibbering wreck. Normally a chocky bar and a full fat coke revive me but i was pronounced dead at the scene what a bastard! West of Scotland beautiful and lumpy but shite weather gotta love it

    Perfect.

    @The Oracle

    Dude, you can tell you haven't been posting a lot lately when you've been demoted down to a 2!

    Good to see you again mate.

  • @frank There are many things that will keep me from reaching my potential. I'm not afraid of meeting him, it's more case of meetings with him not fitting into the wider scheme of things. If I have work or social responsibilities after a ride, which is 90% of the time, then I don't want to be feeling the after effects of a kicking. If I've got a day to myself with nothing more than a beer and the sofa lined up after the ride then I'll take myself much deeper.

    Also, as @Marcus says, you can do yourself some damage on the trainer/rollers over an hour. There are some dark places to be found on that route.

  • I used to do long distance running.  In running a marathon the body takes a pounding over time.  In training for a marathon it's a good idea to focus more on the amount of time that you run rather than speed and distance.  For example, if your goal is to run a 3.5 hour marathon (5 mins per km), then your training should progress to running 32 kms at a rate of speed that would keep you on your feet for 3.5 hours or more - 6.5 mins per km.  You would do speed work on shorter runs to ensure that you're capable of running at the speed you will need to run at on race day. 

    I don't think we can apply exactly the same idea to cycling at 3/4 speed is way easier than running at 3/4 speed.  I think Frank's idea of training to further distances at slower speeds has merit.  Or possibly something more like 90% of the distance at 90% of the pace may also make sense. 

    For shorter distances in running certainly the idea is to do a lot of longer distance running.  If your race was the 10k you'd spend a lot of time running distances longer than that so that it would feel effortless on race day.  A marathon is different though because it is such a herculean effort - I for one don't think that a century comes close to being equivalent.  Maybe 250km?

  • @Mikael Liddy

    Whilst I've felt the presence of the companion a couple of times over the last couple of weeks back on the bike I'm yet to suffer his strike (mainly because the rides haven't been long enough). Planned 100+k for Saturday morning should have us properly reacquianted I suspect.

    job done, found the man lurking about 70k in when I turned on to a road I'd never travelled before. 3 corners later I was faced with a 1k straight wall that exceeded 20% in parts...the remaining 20 odd km's involved significant mental effort to ensure the pedals kept turning.

  • @Marcus

     

    Either way, he is a cunt. But he is your friend.

    I think of The Man being a fat fucker on a derny riding next to you laughing off his fat man boobs.

    That'd make it like riding next to a mirror then?

  • @kixsand

    I don't think we can apply exactly the same idea to cycling at 3/4 speed is way easier than running at 3/4 speed. I think Frank's idea of training to further distances at slower speeds has merit. Or possibly something more like 90% of the distance at 90% of the pace may also make sense.

    For the ultracycling world, a general rule to follow for training is to make your longest training ride 75% of the distance/time of the race two to three weeks before the race. For a 325km race, do a 250km ride. For a 24-hour race, do an 18-hour ride. I also like to try and get in a week where I do at least as much riding as the event a few weeks before.

    For people that ask me how to ride an English century (162km), I'll tell them to build up to a 120km and then they'll finish the full century without a problem. 120km is enough distance to start learning how to keep yourself riding for an extended period of time. What you can get away with for two or three hours, you probably can't get away with for five or six or more.

  • "[T]he only thing bridging the chasm to a goal is having the will to act." Brilliant.

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