Categories: Awesome British GuysBelgian AffirmationsBreaking The RulesNostalgia

The Curious Case of Bradley Wiggins

The enigmatic Bradley Wiggins

Brad Wiggins is an enigma. There is a lot about him that makes him easy to dislike. That mopey, Pete Townshend look on his face and mop hairdo are the low-hanging fruit in this case, with the length of his socks being there to round out the podium in a close third. Also, he dropped Bont for Giro, which is unacceptable mostly because the Giros make his feet look like dolphin flippers. And don’t get me started on the beard.

His Tour de France win in 2012 was probably the least interesting of this century; the standout memory from that event being the rumours of back-of-the-bus catfights between him and Chris Froome. I’m picturing something out of the broom scene in Fantasia, which almost makes up for how crap the actual race was.

When he targeted Paris-Roubaix this year I was haunted by visions of him sitting on some hideous throne while trying to hoist that beautiful cobble over his head. Fans at the roadside were waving WIGGO flags around that had a cobblestone on it, which made me want to stop and start drinking simultaneously.

I’ve never been a fan, but somehow I’ve always found him to be one of the most interesting characters in the peloton and one who I continue to have my eye on, watching for his next move.

I feel strongly that when someone is at the top of the sport, there comes with that a responsibility to lead and to be an ambassador. At the same time, I’ve always appreciated his unapologetic uneasiness with leadership and with being in the spotlight. He was also the first person in history to call the whole of the Cycling public both cunts and wankers in a single press conference, which is so wildly offensive that it kind of goes full circle to being funny.

He was born in Belgium. You have to love that. And he’s the only Grand Tour contender to target a cobbled classic since Greg LeMond, albeit not in the same year. Finally, he has a deep respect for the sport’s history, to the extent that he raced up the Ventoux with a photo of Tom Simpson in his jersey pocket in honor of his fallen countryman. Not to mention that he’s a bit of a fashion hound, striving to look as Fantastic off the bike as on it. Our personal tastes may differ, but at least he’s a Velominatus.

Finally, he’s the only one of the Time Trial Triumvirate of Faboo, Wiggins, and Der Panzerwagon to stake out the Hour Record as a goal immediately after the UCI modified the regulations, and went on to crush it, restoring honor to what was once one of the coolest events in Cycling.

In a modern Cycling model where the principle objective appears to be repeating the same feats as many times as possible, I find it incredibly refreshing that Wiggo seems satisfied with achieving a goal once and moving on to the next challenge with little thought of repeating. What’s next for Brad Wiggins? Sounds like he’s hoping for some Olympic shenanigans but who knows. He’s done that before.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Oli says:

Aug 27 2015 at 2:42 am

@RobSandy

Hear hear! I may disagree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death (well, not ACTUAL death maybe...) your right to say it.
ped says:

Aug 27 2015 at 3:43 am

He won a sprint once, as well!!
The Grande Fondue says:

Aug 27 2015 at 5:00 am

Wiggin's Instagram worth following. He collects classic bikes - I really like this frame: https://instagram.com/p/qPUUOeTL8S/

Also, this: https://instagram.com/p/6Sr8IgzL25/
wiscot says:

Aug 27 2015 at 5:15 am

@ped

And I don't think he even got out of the saddle - just turned on the pursuiting power!
wiscot says:

Aug 27 2015 at 5:25 am

@frank

@wiscot

@Kevin Morice

Even if I did believe he was the only clean rider at Festina, he is still an arrogant cock.

And he only won 2012 because Froome was called back to rescue him. High on my list of time travel requests is to take the batteries out of Brailsfords’ radio that day and see what happens to the remaining two weeks.

Errr, I think he rode for Cofidis, didn’t he? Also, the “arrogant” part. Show me a top athlete in any sport that doesn’t have an arrogant side to them. Some might call it self-confidence and self-knowledge which BW has in spades. I think he’s smarter and more thoughtful than the average athlete too. He has made astounding commitments to his cycling career but clearly thinks beyond it. Put it this way, who’d you rather have a pint with: Brad or Sastre? Brad or Leipheimer?

OK, but you’re choosing the most boring characters. I’d gladly have a pint with Kelly, LeMond, Yates, Boonen, Gilbert, Nibali, and even Froome. Wiggo is the most likely to call me a cunt, though, so you have that. (I’d call him aloof, not arrogant, by the way.)

He does seem smarter than most, and I like how he’s adopted the mod persona and the little British bullseye thing that has a name that I don’t care about, and quite clever to start his own team to allow him to keep pursuing targets at his own pace and leisure.

Also, he plays guitar, which is always a step in the right direction.

I tried to pick two of what I perceive to be boring riders. The list you give? I'd gladly drink a beer with any of them.

In some ways, the animosity towards Wiggins is symptomatic of many sports - if you are seen/regarded as being smart or "intellectual" then you become an object of scorn and ridicule. In the 80s there was a Scottish footballer called Pat Nevin. He liked to read books and proper newspapers and intelligent films and was roundly criticized for it. This from Wikipedia:

Nevin co-wrote a book, In Ma Head, Son, with psychologist Dr George Sik that was published in 1997. The book covers his experiences at Tranmere Rovers during the 1996–97 season and eschews the typical footballer's autobiography being a dialogue with Sik which explores his worries, motivation and troubles as he comes to the end of his playing career. He has an arts degree from Glasgow Caledonian University. He was noted during his playing days for being somewhat different from the stereotypical footballer, especially through his interest in literature and the arts, and in his musical tastes, preferring The Fall and Joy Division to Phil Collins or Lionel Richie. As such, he was interviewed by the NME and was a guest presenter on Radio City during his Everton and Tranmere career.

He didn't read the sun shag his sister in law, beat people up, drive drunk or rape anyone. Had he done of of these, he'd be one of the lads. As it was he was ridiculed. I'd have a beer with him.
ped says:

Aug 27 2015 at 6:37 am

@wiscot

I had to rewatch the video before posting just to check he wasn't on the hoods
John Irvine says:

Aug 27 2015 at 7:10 am

@Mikael Liddy

@dyalander

Hansen has won a stage in all of the GT’s I’m pretty sure, for more on why he’s awesome, see below.

Damn. You made me miss Cosmo all over again. I think a key symptom of the sad state of pro cycling economics is that a guy as talented as Cosmo had to go and take a day job as a video editor. Lack of having HTRWW makes this season seem shallower.

As to Wiggins, he's OK in my book. The retro-mod kit for Team Wiggins is a step in the right direction. The guitar playing and old bike collecting mean we would have a lot to talk about over a beer.
Ron says:

Aug 27 2015 at 7:54 am

Are his tattoos genuine?

They're pretty fucking shitty. Seems like the dude who isn't ruff getting tattoos to prove he's ruff. Dandies who dress like him and tattoos shouldn't be mixed, though he's not the only doosh who has Hell's Angels rolling in their graves. I see far too many nerdy academics on a daily basis with clusterfuck explosions of tattoos on their spindly arms.
ChrisO says:

Aug 27 2015 at 9:10 am

@CyberSakkie

Sir* Bradley Wigging. COTHO, quite literally.

KOTHO even more literally, but otherwise well played sir.
BacklashJack says:

Aug 27 2015 at 9:17 am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwm8fT3llP0