The Cycle of Style
There are two ways in life to be good at something. The first way is the most obvious, which is to actually be good at something. This is harder than it sounds because you need things like skills, talent, fortitude, and light sabers. The other way doesn’t require those things but it has its own challenges; basically, you have to be holistically awful at the sort of levels that make all the suck turn inside out on itself until it becomes awesome. American Flyers did that, and the fashion industry routinely uses this principle to their advantage, regurgitating fads and styles first as kitschy retro cool and then tricking us into thinking it actually looks good.
Cycling has happily been immune to this because our aesthetics were driven by function first through advances in technology; never in our history have we been so advanced that we felt the inclination to revert a step or two simply for the novelty of going backwards. The Velominatus may well be inclined to look to steel frames and three-cross box-section wheelsets for their durability and ride quality, but that is a luxury that we as amateurs enjoy without the demands of racing at the top level of our sport where events are won by fractions of percents gained through marginal advances in technology.
But apparently we’ve reached the stage now where Cycling style is being influenced by kids helmets and skateboard attire. I went for a ride with a good friend a few weeks back who was riding in Giro’s new baggy line of clothing. It flopped around like a sail in the wind generated by our own speed, and basically sent him backwards in the breeze that was blowing in along the coast. It looked good in the café before the ride, I have to admit, but last time I checked, Cycling clothing was supposed to be designed for Looking Fantastic while riding, not while sipping a doppio macchiato. (But let’s not understate the importance of looking good while sipping an espresso. We are not animals.)
And the helmets. There are accounts supported by doctored photographs floating around the internet of me wearing an ugly helmet, something I categorically deny ever happened. Nevertheless, let the record show that the lids the Pros are wearing these days are an abomination of style, culture, aesthetics, and progress. My Aeon is so light that I had to put on a few extra pounds just to make sure it doesn’t carry me off when I go outside. And guess what? It’s actually well-ventilated which means my sweet shades don’t fog up when I climb like the Evade makes them do. (Theoretically, of course. Because those photos are fakes.) And speaking of shades, I’m wearing a pair of Oakleys with photosensitive lenses that go from completely clear to black anodized depending on the light conditions. Also well-ventilated. That’s progress right there.
Riding a bike wearing an ice bucket on your head in baggy shorts and shirts with aviator sunglasses isn’t fashion forward, it’s Cycling – the most aesthetically independent sport in history – taking its cues from kids who think a long skateboard is an effective way to navigate through traffic. There may well be white space in the market for it, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be filled. We are the Velominati and we have standards, for Merckx’s sake.
Oh, and seriously, enough with the fucking beards. Rule #50, people. Sometimes you’ve just got to stand up and say we look like hell and I’m not gonna take it any more!
@ChrissyOne
I think I see what you did, there.
@frank
Which oakleys are u using w photochromic lenses? My photochromics (tifosi) have been awesome, ride em when it’s pitch black and bright sun, are getting all scratched and cloudy.
@bnord61
A bit of a dilemma: my girlfriend is moving out to join me in the Seattle area this summer and she is into cycling so one of her first purchases will be a road bike which I will help her to find. She also plans on buying a helmet, but she asked me what I thought about those “skater-type helmets.”
How do I lead her down the path to LVV and away from such monstrosities without being a dick about it and discouraging her from getting more involved in this sport that we all love? This is a person who not only tolerates my constant bike talk, but actually demonstrates interest in learning the Way.
@zeitzmar
Just buy her a proper helmet. Agreed that “skater-type helmets” are an abomination on a road bike. I’ve never met a woman who would turn down a gifted piece of clothing, shoes, or the like. I’m sure cycling helmets & your girl fit this maxim. Pro-tec skate lids are for riding half-pipes. All I can say to that idea of hers is, N-O. End of
@frank
Agree with Frahnk that, on it’s surface, American Flyers is a steaming pile of 80s garbage. However, that is part of its awesomeness. How can you not fondly remember that era when watching it? The sheer dearth of fictional stories having anything to do with cycling makes it great almost by default. Plus, Merckx himself has a cameo. Costner was not yet a star & churning out self indulgent, putrid movies like The Postman & Waterworld. He was downright cool in AF. His ‘stache almost put Magnum PI to shame. That was the height of the Cold War & the characterization of the despicable Russians is classic. I watched that movie so many times when I was a kid & it brings me great memories to this day whenever I put it on. The only downside to the whole thing is that Marcus & David ride bikes from the evil company from Morgan Hill that shall not be named. I fucking despise those cease & desist sending, litigious group of bastards & would not ride one of their bikes even if it was free. Breaking Away is a classic. It’s awesomeness makes me fondly remember the 70s, bell bottoms & all. That movie captures the aimlessness of the 18-20 yr old set as well or better than any other before, or since. A Sunday in Hell may be the finest documentary I’ve ever seen, on any subject. That it prominently features Merckx & is about the greatest race in cycling only adds to it’s allure. I think I’m going to grab a Stella & watch it right now in fact!
@zeitzmar air ventilation could be a talking point
@zeitzmar I’ll echo the ventilation vs hot, sweaty helmet-hair argument, and throw in a little matching team-look suggestion — my wife liked the Air Attack originally (she’s a Californian skater at heart, at least in part), and now has the Giro Amare, which goes very well with my Atmos. The shape is identical, even if hers is matte black and mine matte white, and the styling is subtly more feminine, i.e. they didn’t just make it pink and put little flowers on it. It’s very low profile on her smaller head, looks great, keeps things cool and works with a casquette underneath when it’s chilly or damp. She loves it.
@Cogfather
…unless she thought it looked like shit, in which case she’ll say “uh, thanks” and stash it or shove it in a donation bin. Some examples of good-looking helmets from the female pro peloton could help (and in my experience, when you think ‘Vanderkitten’, you should probably be thinking one of the other teams, unless kitten-ish is really her thing). I think even Vos looks a bit silly in an Air Attack.
versus
(Photos from Velofocus.com)
You folically gifted bastards can cram it.
Great article and conversation.
I gotta say, I see some merit in the Giro New Road gear. I’ve tried the shorts, and they work well and look pretty good. Of course they’re not performance gear, but fuck, riding around with your mates isn’t performance riding. But passing the local bunch, goin uphill, on a steel bike while wearing ‘baggies’ is a pretty good feeling!
The helmets, well I’m not dead against them either. I’ve seen Air Attacks being worn around town and they work for some people. The Bell that Belkin have been wearing looks pretty good…
I think that low-key, sublimated kit is going to be the way of the future for anyone who doesn’t want to look like a racer wannabe… maybe baggy won’t be for everyone, but plain colours and no billboard-esque logos make sense.
@brett
And this is why I don’t own anything Castelli, nice though some of their stuff seems to be. I don’t wear regular gear with clothing brands written big on the outside, either, or at least, I won’t until they start paying me to rather than expecting me to pay for the privilege.
@Frank – Wiggo is cool. Let’s face it. We all know the story. He’s one of the few guys in the peloton right now who’s approaching anything close to a LeMond or Hinault as far as being a complete rider is concerned. Nobody else right now is even trying. That’s class. Take or leave is style, that’s subjective. The beard is fine. As for me – best helmet/shades combo I’ve had. Super light, full coverage on the melon and the field of vision. And I think it looks good and have fun wearing it. So yeah, say what you will. Then fuck right the fuck off.
@Marko this ^ seems to raise the this conversation to its subtle essence. Do we wear this stuff for practical and functional or for its style or both?
UhhMmmm?? I mean it’s not that it’s such a bad look, in fact it looks like, as you say, it’s doing the job really well. It’s just that with tech and design can’t we have both?
I guess I’ve got to fuck off now…
Oh, spot on about Wiggo and beards are part of our bodies so that means it’s personal choice – good or bad.
@Marko
I will admit, the Garmin POC helmets (Road version) is growing on me. This kinda scares me. The space goggles, not so much… but time may change that as well.
Unfortunately, the wide angle lens for your selfie doesn’t do the helmet any favors….
@chippendale_rider
Best first post, your in!
@Marko
Did that furry animal get in through the vents?
@Marko A heartfelt thank you for completely turning me off of POC. I will now proceed to fucking right the fuck off.
And I thought the Smith Pivlock V2 were pushing it a bit…
@DCR You’re welcome. I’d be willing to wager though if you tried one on you’d have second thoughts.
@Triathlete
Now I know what to do with my Pumpkin in the fall – carve a POC helmet. (I’m also fucking right the fuck off right fucking now . . .)
It’s just outrageous – how anyone can participate in a sport, where the objective is to suffer nobly and maintain dignity at all times, and present themselves in such a flippant manner is beyond me.
To wit – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiQmQhA-OrM
@rfreese888
John Goodman? Always top dollar value in any movie.
@unversio
Niiiiice! I’d wear that in a heartbeat. One of the (many) reasons I don’t join a club is too many of the jerseys are so friggin ugly.
@wiscot This design, called the Parallax, has a matching frameset.
I’ve put this on here before, this is the only think I can think of when I see that damn Orange POC.
@PeakInTwoYears it is a hella East Bay production. Let me know when you come visit.
@wilburrox
They get down pretty fast. A good descender on a bike is faster. All this assumes that you are not impeded by an oblivious local driver in a Prius or Volvo. Or really any car this side of a small well balanced and well driven sports car.
@wiscot
I wish they had done a more black short. Other than that, they are good looking kits and bikes. And I love the nat sidewalls they run on their wheels all the time.
@mhoffinator
You sir, are a scholar and a gentleman.
@Chris
You appear to be trying to link directly to photos embedded in your email. Which obviously none of us have access to.
@Ccos
Something like 80% of the Pro peloton claims to have asthma. Its a fucking disgrace; the medication dilates your trachea and as a (genuine) asthmatic I can tell you how much of a difference it makes.
Apparently Froome has suddenly come down with the condition himself.
http://www.theroar.com.au/2014/06/12/didnt-know-froomes-asthma-now/
@frank Wellll, bronchodilators would count as a marginal gain…
Should read Phil Gaimon’s book about this.
@gaswepass
They have two photosensitive lenses and I have the black one because it goes full clear to full iridium. The VMH rode them the other day and I saw how quickly it changed, its almost instantaneous. You don’t notice when you’re wearing them yourself, all you notice is that your vision is always perfect.
@frank Are you referring to this?
@Marko
You were making a good point about Wiggo and PR but there is one massive oversight: you also posted a photo of yourself looking like one of the mushrooms from Super Mario Bros.
This would be a step up.
Wiggo is still a far fucking cry from being a complete rider. First, has has to stop being a little bitch. Second, he has to have a GT target the same year as a PR target like Everyone up until and including LeMond had. Then he has to continue to stop being a little bitch.
I love his style off the bike though. Skinny people look great in clothes.
@brett
That is the principle behind Rapha. Look Fantastic without looking like you’re on a team.
@Rob
All things being equal, I choose what I think looks best. There is a large margin of error on “the equal” part, meaning that so long as there is something that definitely looks better I will choose that so long as it isn’t so much more inferior that it doesn’t get in the way.
@VirenqueForever
Plus one badge to you, matey.
@Pedale.Forchetta
you got it, thats fantastic
You know, if someone beats you, sporting the beard….well, you not only got beat….it really couldn’t have even been close
Thank you very much Frank for this article
as usual, you nail it
I saw the customary intros for these helmets on other websites, and am so underwhelmed
I was left thinking….I think I’ll just sport a cap again thanks, but no thanks to the new stuff
@frank
I’m a big fan of the understated kit look. The VMH gave me a Torm jersey as a gift earlier this year. Nice stuff, well made, and classy. Pockets need a bit of resizing, in my opinion, but not a deal breaker. They are a mom & pop operation in the UK, if that is an added bonus for some of you.
Argh, Frank! You mentioned the photochromic lenses again. I’d love to try them after your praise, but I have yet to justify new lenses when I already have a drawer full of cycling-specific shades. Not cheap, but they do sound absolutely awesome. One pair of shades to rule them all.
@RedRanger
@Cogfather
@andrew
Thanks for the input. I’ll look into some of the Giro helmets. I know she is not the kind who wants pink flowery shit (that’s more my thing), so black or white and well-ventilated should work. I gotta nip this thing in the bud.
@zeitzmar
Rule #43 my friend. Gently guide her to the right style helmet and make the proper justifications around not sweltering, being ventilated, being lightweight etc.
@frank
I’m not that thick. I’m using your fabled “paste directly into post” system having right clicked on the image in my email and taken the Copy Image option. I can’t really see how that is any different from using the same method for an image that isn’t in an email. No doubt it is cos I is not mac user. I’ll try saving it to disk and using the upload photo method.
Anyway, Rule #35 abuse, Angus style:
Some, and I repeat, some, of the Danny Shane kit is ace. 60% is horrendous however.
@Cogfather good work! I need to get looking on eBay I think!
@Marko I wish my balls were big enough to rock this look! Cool as fuck. Good work fella!
@frank
I wish the unwritten rule of “and pay out your ass to do it” was a lurker less true.
Lurker… Not like I was for years here, but like little, a little less true. Phone is trying to expose my past…
@therealpeel
I do feel that a full kit shouldn’t cost as much as a new frameset…
@rfreese888
This is such a beautiful summation. Nicely dive.
@therealpeel
Wow. Consecutive posts with an autocorrect error. Maybe I should actually read the post before submitting… Nicely done @rfreese888. Nicely done.