There are two ways in life to be good at something. The first way is the most obvious, which is to actually be good at something. This is harder than it sounds because you need things like skills, talent, fortitude, and light sabers. The other way doesn’t require those things but it has its own challenges; basically, you have to be holistically awful at the sort of levels that make all the suck turn inside out on itself until it becomes awesome. American Flyers did that, and the fashion industry routinely uses this principle to their advantage, regurgitating fads and styles first as kitschy retro cool and then tricking us into thinking it actually looks good.
Cycling has happily been immune to this because our aesthetics were driven by function first through advances in technology; never in our history have we been so advanced that we felt the inclination to revert a step or two simply for the novelty of going backwards. The Velominatus may well be inclined to look to steel frames and three-cross box-section wheelsets for their durability and ride quality, but that is a luxury that we as amateurs enjoy without the demands of racing at the top level of our sport where events are won by fractions of percents gained through marginal advances in technology.
But apparently we’ve reached the stage now where Cycling style is being influenced by kids helmets and skateboard attire. I went for a ride with a good friend a few weeks back who was riding in Giro’s new baggy line of clothing. It flopped around like a sail in the wind generated by our own speed, and basically sent him backwards in the breeze that was blowing in along the coast. It looked good in the café before the ride, I have to admit, but last time I checked, Cycling clothing was supposed to be designed for Looking Fantastic while riding, not while sipping a doppio macchiato. (But let’s not understate the importance of looking good while sipping an espresso. We are not animals.)
And the helmets. There are accounts supported by doctored photographs floating around the internet of me wearing an ugly helmet, something I categorically deny ever happened. Nevertheless, let the record show that the lids the Pros are wearing these days are an abomination of style, culture, aesthetics, and progress. My Aeon is so light that I had to put on a few extra pounds just to make sure it doesn’t carry me off when I go outside. And guess what? It’s actually well-ventilated which means my sweet shades don’t fog up when I climb like the Evade makes them do. (Theoretically, of course. Because those photos are fakes.) And speaking of shades, I’m wearing a pair of Oakleys with photosensitive lenses that go from completely clear to black anodized depending on the light conditions. Also well-ventilated. That’s progress right there.
Riding a bike wearing an ice bucket on your head in baggy shorts and shirts with aviator sunglasses isn’t fashion forward, it’s Cycling – the most aesthetically independent sport in history – taking its cues from kids who think a long skateboard is an effective way to navigate through traffic. There may well be white space in the market for it, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be filled. We are the Velominati and we have standards, for Merckx’s sake.
Oh, and seriously, enough with the fucking beards. Rule #50, people. Sometimes you’ve just got to stand up and say we look like hell and I’m not gonna take it any more!
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Another reason 'Muricans suck at futbol.
Our elected leaders can bullshit entire nations into unnecessary wars, but our soccer players can't even convince referees to hand out little cards.
Teocalli - I love the sport of futbol, but I definitely hate the diving. That has to stop. But I also find it comical that some say soccer dudes are soft. Some are. But, there isn't a lot of contact in cycling and many cyclists are tough as hell. I don't understanding the faking of injuries. Yep, I've always followed the code that you pretend you aren't hurt, no matter what, lest let your opponent think they've got you.
I like a few sports, and there are problems in all of them. Cycling, pretty obvious there. Ice hockey. I hate all the hitting to the head, driving guys into the boards, etc. that goes on in the NHL. And then people say it's "old time hockey." Bullshit.
wiscot - I think the NBA and NFL both need to set up developmental leagues. (Yeah, the NBA D league isn't one.) To me it is absolutely crazy how many top-notch schools are absolutely selling their souls for good sports. As a former collegiate athlete and likely a future college employee (teaching/research), it just makes me sick how corrupt those two sports are and how crazed people are for them. I do not believe big-time college sports have any business being part of a college/uni atmosphere. And, I actually played high school football, but what college and NFL football have become is insane. One is totally corrupted, the other is a huge corporate orgy that I see as a major part of what is wrong with U.S. culture and values.
Anyway, my apologies. Nice stage of the Suisse today and wow, Germany is looking strong in the World Cup. (not that I think cycling or futbol are totally pure, I just think they do have some redeeming values.)
@Teocalli
Yes! I COMPLETELY agree. I LOVE professional futbol but hate, FUCK'IN HATE the diving bullshit that goes on. They should immediately review that shit and Red Card the fucker if found to have dove/dived(?). That would clear that shit up immediately.
Take anyone who does not follow futbol and then watches during World Cup--what is their biggest complaint? The diving and I don't blame them.
Had to repost the photo, though as it had my "favorite" diver in it. Ronaldo. Do NOT like that Fucking guy at ALL!
@Ron
Wait, so there's a problem with a state school paying its football coach $6.9 million a year? That at a lot of big schools the (insert sport here) team coach is the highest paid person on campus? (Is there an emoticon for disgust, sarcasm?)
Yeah, so, so sad to see Ronaldo's team getting there arses kicked by Germany. So, so very sad. I agree, watching how easily and quickly some players fall over, you'd think they were auditioning for olympic diving.
I read the Vos interview and then watch football/soccer and think the words sporting, class, and professional only apply to a young lady from Holland.
Funny how no footballer names from Operation Puerto were ever released . . .
@wiscot No shit about the Operation Puerto. Spanish futbol is HUGE money, much bigger than cycling in Spain. Besides Messi, who has a TUE for HGH (smiley face here-although he did use it for years for legit severe HGH deficiency) players in that league, hell probably all leagues, are so fucking juicing and HGH'ing.
Still love the sport, though. Cannot help myself.
@Buck Rogers
Buck, I long for the days when at the end of a game (football, soccer, baseball, basketball, tennis) the final whistle goes and 2/3 players at random are nabbed by drug chaperones and escorted to the drug control tent for a wee sample. Won't happen of course, as each governing body is shit scared as to what would turn up. AND they'd also have to run the same extensive range of tests cyclists get subjected to. Oh, and while I'm at it, lets have LeBron James, Ryan Braun, Drew Brees and Andy Murray woken up at 7am for an unannounced test too - multiple times a year in and off season. I can hear the squeals of protest right now!
That Wayne Rooney's hair is totally juiced for starters.
@Buck Rogers
Yes! I COMPLETELY agree. I LOVE professional futbol but hate, FUCK'IN HATE the diving bullshit that goes on. They should immediately review that shit and Red Card the fucker if found to have dove/dived(?). That would clear that shit up immediately.
Take anyone who does not follow futbol and then watches during World Cup-what is their biggest complaint? The diving and I don't blame them.
Had to repost the photo, though as it had my "favorite" diver in it. Ronaldo. Do NOT like that Fucking guy at ALL!
They should introduce citing as they have it in Rugby post the came a complaint can be lodged by the opposition or the independent ref and it is then reviewed and retrospective suspensions/fines etc imposed post game. Would sort it in a flash but too much money involved sadly.
I just bought one of the POC Onyx lids in white. The purchase was prompted by a crash in which I managed to smote my cheek just under the eye upon the pavement, giving myself a world class shiner and a concussion of sorts to boot. My ordeal made me somewhat less fussy with the look of the lid in favour of the perceived safety advantages of this helmet. And, I really don't think it looks bad in white - although I did notice that the design of the straps make it impractical to ride with the shades outside of the straps...
My shine...
@Teocalli