The Hammer and the Nail

Sometimes you're the hammer, sometimes you're the nail.

Sometimes you’re the hammer, sometimes you’re the nail. I was a cheapy little Ikea one today. It was terrible.

– Geraint Thomas

It is strange, the workings of a the Cyclist as an organism. We are of three autonomous parts, Head, Body, and Legs. In the short term, there is little that fundamentally changes between them, yet their symbiosis can vary wildly; one day we are an unstoppable force and the next, little more than a tourist.

Condition is built gradually over a the length of a season or many seasons; it does not arrive in the post on a prescribed day just as it does not depart the train station per a schedule when its stay has come to an end. Yet, somehow, our performances can vary as though this were the case. This dramatic change is most commonly driven by the mind, a fragile beast that balances upon a knife’s edge where the slightest push can send our performance sky high or plummeting into the fiery depths of despair.

This is what drives the Cyclist as an aesthetic creature; clean bar tape, freshly shaven guns, and neatly arranged kit is the most effective way to control our form from day to day; no sense fooling with diet, or power meters – neither of those will tell you how Fantastic you look.

Which is why our investigative team, Research Unit for Logical Explanations of the Velominati ( RULEV ) has concluded that Geraint cracked horribly due to psychological injuries caused by losing his trademark white Jawbones, which were obviously his hidden Scepter of Morale. He looks magic in those shades, and complete crap in the Radars he was forced to ride in the following days. Our study also indicates that he could have avoided disaster by paying to overnight his new Jawbones in time to race in them again at the Tour; there are only so many days you can look crap before you start riding like crap.

To expand on Paul Fournel’s famous line: to look good is already to go fast, and to look crap is already to go slow.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next In Memoriam: The Straight Block »

Previous « Pinot or Bardet?

View Comments

Puffy says:

Aug 11 2015 at 7:09 pm

@wilburrox

Looking back at the times that I was at my lightest I wonder if I was actually kinda dehydrated. A functioning dehydrate so to speak?

I reckon folks get too caught up in hydration... it's not complicated. Were you thristy? If not - not, if yes, maybe approaching if you had previously ignored the thirst reflex.

Were you (not) retaining fluid? Well that's a different question.
wilburrox says:

Aug 11 2015 at 7:33 pm

@Puffy

@wilburrox

Looking back at the times that I was at my lightest I wonder if I was actually kinda dehydrated. A functioning dehydrate so to speak?

I reckon folks get too caught up in hydration… it’s not complicated. Were you thristy? If not – not, if yes, maybe approaching if you had previously ignored the thirst reflex.

Were you (not) retaining fluid? Well that’s a different question.

Ahhh... some things I am working on understanding yes. Here in the deep south of the USA we regularly ride with heat index values in excess of 95 and 100 for weeks at a time. And I'll have stretches at my lowest weight during these times. And I think it is a question of retaining (replacing?) fluid. Massive amounts of water loss and ultimately, when combined with long hard efforts and fatigue, cramping. I've recently been trying a Scratch product called hyper hydration in advance of long Sat century rides. Lotta salt. I'm just guessing an inability to replace fluid as fast as lose it is the issue. It's nothing to lose 3-5%, and in rare occasions more, body weight despite five or six bottles on a ride.
frank says:

Aug 11 2015 at 9:28 pm

@Ron, @Gianni

I got the Jawbreakers and can't wear my Radars anymore because the field of vision is so superior with the new design. So I got the Radar EV too. The new Radars are the same basic design as the old Radars but with the fried of vision of the Jawbreakers while slightly less claustrophobic.

Glad my sunglasses compulsion could be of some use.
frank says:

Aug 11 2015 at 9:33 pm

@wilburrox

Looking back at the times that I was at my lightest I wonder if I was actually kinda dehydrated. A functioning dehydrate so to speak?

A slightly dehydrated state is supposed to be a performance enhancer...possibly because it artificially increases your hematocrit, according to the RULEV team.

I believe, however that being well hydrated actually helps keep your metabolism kicking, so it's unlikely that you'd have maintained that state long term and kept your weight down. Which is why I'm enjoying some vin rouge as I write this.
frank says:

Aug 11 2015 at 9:42 pm

@Puffy

@Teocalli

Yup indeed, This. Diets do not work as by definition a diet becomes regarded as something special and therefore temporary, you have to eat right balanced to your degree of exercise. It’s called lifestyle not diet.

Well if you want to get into semantics… whatever you at last week, today, tomorrow -> that’s your diet. Some folks change theirs regularly, some have heavily regimented ones, but it’s all the same. Everyone on the planet has either a good or a bad diet, or maybe something inbetween.

Having said that, yes, whatever your diet is, it needs to be a lifestyle that is sustainable.

Interesting points raised. I never "diet" and due to the myopic nature of my writing, I suppose I was referring to lifestyle, not binge or purge, as it were.

But it's a good point; just like your form isn't built overnight, your diet is a factor that plays a role over a longer period of time that the impact of your morale on a day to day basis. With the exception of booze, where having too much definitely impacts the next day's ride, and removing it from your diet has an almost immediate impact.

Which isn't to say I'm about to go dry. Let's not get carried away. Moderation, when suitable.
frank says:

Aug 11 2015 at 9:45 pm

@wilburrox

@Puffy

@wilburrox

Looking back at the times that I was at my lightest I wonder if I was actually kinda dehydrated. A functioning dehydrate so to speak?

I reckon folks get too caught up in hydration… it’s not complicated. Were you thristy? If not – not, if yes, maybe approaching if you had previously ignored the thirst reflex.

Were you (not) retaining fluid? Well that’s a different question.

Ahhh… some things I am working on understanding yes. Here in the deep south of the USA we regularly ride with heat index values in excess of 95 and 100 for weeks at a time. And I’ll have stretches at my lowest weight during these times. And I think it is a question of retaining (replacing?) fluid. Massive amounts of water loss and ultimately, when combined with long hard efforts and fatigue, cramping. I’ve recently been trying a Scratch product called hyper hydration in advance of long Sat century rides. Lotta salt. I’m just guessing an inability to replace fluid as fast as lose it is the issue. It’s nothing to lose 3-5%, and in rare occasions more, body weight despite five or six bottles on a ride.

Isn't that loss pretty temporary though? Training in Minnesota during the summer was the same, roughly, as was when I trained in North Carolina. I'd come back from a ride many pounds lighter, but the next day I'd be back to a reasonable amount lighter...
Puffy says:

Aug 11 2015 at 9:53 pm

@frank

Isn’t that loss pretty temporary though? Training in Minnesota during the summer was the same, roughly, as was when I trained in North Carolina. I’d come back from a ride many pounds lighter, but the next day I’d be back to a reasonable amount lighter…

I would say so, yes. And I wouldn't take the leap that says "i've lost x on the ride, I need to drink x after". That is based on the flawed assumption that you were at the ideal level of hydration to start with.

Just drink if you are thirsty.

In the end, the scales are interesting (ever weigh yourself before and after a dump?) and good for tracking general trends over months but other than that they are a distraction. You could be getting heavier but losing fat and putting on muscles for example. I say, the mirror is the best scale, then go measure skin folds if you could be bothered.
ChrisO says:

Aug 11 2015 at 10:27 pm

@frank

@wilburrox

@Puffy

@wilburrox

Looking back at the times that I was at my lightest I wonder if I was actually kinda dehydrated. A functioning dehydrate so to speak?

I reckon folks get too caught up in hydration… it’s not complicated. Were you thristy? If not – not, if yes, maybe approaching if you had previously ignored the thirst reflex.

Were you (not) retaining fluid? Well that’s a different question.

Ahhh… some things I am working on understanding yes. Here in the deep south of the USA we regularly ride with heat index values in excess of 95 and 100 for weeks at a time. And I’ll have stretches at my lowest weight during these times. And I think it is a question of retaining (replacing?) fluid. Massive amounts of water loss and ultimately, when combined with long hard efforts and fatigue, cramping. I’ve recently been trying a Scratch product called hyper hydration in advance of long Sat century rides. Lotta salt. I’m just guessing an inability to replace fluid as fast as lose it is the issue. It’s nothing to lose 3-5%, and in rare occasions more, body weight despite five or six bottles on a ride.

Isn’t that loss pretty temporary though? Training in Minnesota during the summer was the same, roughly, as was when I trained in North Carolina. I’d come back from a ride many pounds lighter, but the next day I’d be back to a reasonable amount lighter…

Being in the desert I get to experiment with this a lot. @Frank is right, it is very temporary and a loss of 2-3% has no impact on performance according to studies. @Wilburrox is also correct that you simply can't replace the fluids quickly enough.

I went on a 3.5 hour ride two weeks ago and weighed myself before and after. Despite drinking close to a litre per hour (which is about as much as you can actually process) and even after breakfast and more recovery drinks I was still 3kg lighter. Steady rehydration during the day gets it mostly back, but I reckon it takes up to 24 hours to fully recover from a severe loss, say between 2 and 5%.

What I would caution on is using too much electrolyte replacement. You are increasing the concentration of salts in your body, which just makes you thirstier. But you can't absorb enough water to counter the thirst or the concentration, and if you drink more electrolyte the effect is even more pronounced.

Drink when you are thirsty, not to a prescribed timetable like the tri-geeks. Use diluted juices (quarter to a third juice max) rather than carb drinks and if it's really hot and you need electrolytes use about half what they recommend. Currently I've got the High 5 Zero and would add half a tab to a large bottle of diluted juice for a long hot ride (it was 48C here yesterday !).
frank says:

Aug 11 2015 at 11:34 pm

@Puffy

@frank

Isn’t that loss pretty temporary though? Training in Minnesota during the summer was the same, roughly, as was when I trained in North Carolina. I’d come back from a ride many pounds lighter, but the next day I’d be back to a reasonable amount lighter…

I would say so, yes. And I wouldn’t take the leap that says “i’ve lost x on the ride, I need to drink x after”. That is based on the flawed assumption that you were at the ideal level of hydration to start with.

Just drink if you are thirsty.

In the end, the scales are interesting (ever weigh yourself before and after a dump?) and good for tracking general trends over months but other than that they are a distraction. You could be getting heavier but losing fat and putting on muscles for example. I say, the mirror is the best scale, then go measure skin folds if you could be bothered.

I nominate the shadow as the best measure, but the point is fair enough. I've even weighed myself before and after a shower, and the delta is enough to measure on the scale. Fickle thing, that.
frank says:

Aug 11 2015 at 11:47 pm

@ChrisO

Holy fucking Merckx that sounds horrendous. Much good data in there to experiment with.

All that said, for the first time ever, I used Cliff's powder in one of my bidons. Razzberry, I believe, which is a name that makes me never want to buy their product. I try to keep off any non-water drink as much as I can, especially when my objective is to meet the Man with the Hammer, as was my objective that day. I chucked one in the jersey pocket just in case. Bonked a ways from home and decided to deploy the juice box into the remaining bidon and I have to say, that shit fucking brought me around. Short but hairpinney climb close to home is a favorite big-ringer of mine and after an afternoon of Jesus Shifting (Oh Jesus, tell me there's a lower gear!) I blew up the little bugger so fast I had to coast and knee-in on the top hairpin, passing two blokes who were cruising up. ("Are we standing still?" I heard them say as I went by. Massive morale right there.)

Most of the bidon was still there and used it on the next ride, from the start., out of curiosity. Had one of the best days I've had on the bike this season; really anxious to try some more of that. Curious about the salt content, and also wondering how relevant that is if you don't live in the north Sahara like you do.

@wilburrox

Last two season's, I've been cramping a lot. This year, none of it - not one cramp all season. Part of it is going back to reliable food sources, and part of it is more solid base training. But the whole hydration, supplement, food thing is an alchemy, that's for sure. Stick to what works - I'd never cramped before I started experimenting, and then it seems better since I've gone back to the usual. Except sometimes experimenting is magic, as this Cliff drink mix might be. So experiment, but not too much? Wizard.