I’m struggling with how to open this conversation without sounding like what I’m assuming my grandparents did when I was growing up. Maybe it’s because I’m just now clawing my way into some of the wisdom they had, or maybe I’m just less of an idiot than I was when they were moving their lips and I wasn’t listening. (Spoiler alert: everyone is less of an idiot then I was when I was a kid. No need to wait for the memoir.)

Kids these days have no respect.

There. I said it. Let me add some stage directions to this, for clarity.

Stage left, everyone under the age of 25: [heads down, tapping at their phones] Text me. I don’t do “speaking”. [All look up, sigh in chorus, and look back at their phones. Some of the cast members roll their eyes.]

Center stage, anyone between 25 and 37: Yeah, but they’ll learn. Give them a chance to express their ideas on this world and we’ll be happy for their challenging perspective. I embrace their view as it will help us grow both as individuals and a society. Also, Mom and Dad, please text me.

Stage right, everyone else: Bugger off, you disrespectful cretins.

The past informs the future; wisdom is learned through experience and experience is earned through the errors of our actions. That sounds a lot like a rationalization for screwing up all the time and maybe that’s true, but that doesn’t mean the premise is flawed; we must look behind us to understand where we are going. By respecting our past, we may build a better future.

In a world where the young have no respect for the wisdom of age and the old have no appreciation for the genius of youth, La Vie Velominatus cuts through the din and grounds us. Cycling is deeply rooted in the past while fiercely embracing the future. The Cyclist lives happily on both sides of the coin; cherishing our steel frames and hand-made tubular tires while embracing 10 and 11 speed drive-trains and featherweight carbon frames and deep-section wheels.

Keepers Tour 2012 was the first time I’d been to the cobbles of Northern Europe. When we arrived at the mouth of the Arenberg Forest, we were compelled to climb off and pay our respects to this, the most sacred of roads in our sport. By modern measure, this is the worst road imaginable: mossy cobbles roughly strewn across a narrow lane; uneven and sometimes as far as two or three centimeters apart. This is a road so rough it is difficult to walk down. To a Cyclist, it represents the most beautiful road on Earth. This is a road that lets us touch history.

A puzzle is meant to be solved; a mystery is not. The past is a puzzle and the future a mystery. Beauty is found in the space where the past and future live as one. Cycling is beauty.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • A medium point Waterman fountain pen, the nib of which I carefully ground into a fine (approx. 1mm) italic nib for taking notes in a Moleskin notebook. In the note above, the thick-thin transitions characteristic of italics nibs are mostly lost because it's on shit computer paper I stole from work.

  • @girl

    @frank

    @PeakInTwoYears

    Is that a fountain pen? If so, you have my respect.

    To this day I do all my note taking in a moleskine notebook and (ballpoint) pen or mechanical pencil. I'd love to get a nice fountain pen; it is a civilized weapon from a more civilized age.

    Nothing beats perfectly weighted medium point blue ballpoint pen and a well sharpened 2B pencil.

    Charcoal and goose quills, ya youngsters! * shuffles back to stone slab and chisel*

  • @girl

    Nothing beats perfectly weighted medium point blue ballpoint pen and a well sharpened 2B pencil.

    Kidding there. Couldn't agree more on the 2B pencil. 20+ years of working with AutoCad and (more recently) Sketchup - but I still find myself reaching for the ol' graphite sticks several times each day.

  • @wiscot

    Did they take their caps off at least? (If they were wearing them) That's another thing that irks me - going into an eatery and seeing boys/men wearing goddamn caps. And while I'm ranting, it also irks me to see guys going on dates where the lady has made some effort to look attractive (wash hair, apply make-up, wear something clean and nice) while the guy rolls in wearing whatever didn't smell too bad in the laundry basket. And a fucking baseball cap.

    Welcome to every single night in Seattle. Only now it's motherf&!@ing Seahawks jerseys.

  • @ErikdR

    @girl

    @frank

    @PeakInTwoYears

    Is that a fountain pen? If so, you have my respect.

    To this day I do all my note taking in a moleskine notebook and (ballpoint) pen or mechanical pencil. I'd love to get a nice fountain pen; it is a civilized weapon from a more civilized age.

    Nothing beats perfectly weighted medium point blue ballpoint pen and a well sharpened 2B pencil.

    Charcoal and goose quills, ya youngsters! * shuffles back to stone slab and chisel*

    Stone slab and chisel? Why, back in my day it was charcoal smudges on the cave walls! You kids and your metal tools, whatever next?

    What have the cavemen ever done for us, eh? That Gutenberg was onto something I reckon . . .

  • @ChrissyOne

    @wiscot

    Did they take their caps off at least? (If they were wearing them) That's another thing that irks me - going into an eatery and seeing boys/men wearing goddamn caps. And while I'm ranting, it also irks me to see guys going on dates where the lady has made some effort to look attractive (wash hair, apply make-up, wear something clean and nice) while the guy rolls in wearing whatever didn't smell too bad in the laundry basket. And a fucking baseball cap.

    Welcome to every single night in Seattle. Only now it's motherf&!@ing Seahawks jerseys.

    Ah, they'll be burning them Sunday night after the Packers have had their way with them Hawks. Mr Rogers is going to the Superbowl.

  • @girl

    If for nothing else, the smell of those pencils is the bomb. Not to mention a good eraser, not that I need one because I never make mistakes.

    I don't use these too often but I keep them in my office at work.

  • @ErikdR

    Charcoal and goose quills, ya youngsters! * shuffles back to stone slab and chisel*

    I have cut my own quill pens. Quill pens suck. Certain types of objects found the apogee of their design in the early 20th century. Pens and shaving equipment fall into this category.

    Unlike bikes, pens and razors have simple jobs to do, and so it's possible to authoritatively identify the period in history when style and function really fucked each other's brains out.

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