I’m struggling with how to open this conversation without sounding like what I’m assuming my grandparents did when I was growing up. Maybe it’s because I’m just now clawing my way into some of the wisdom they had, or maybe I’m just less of an idiot than I was when they were moving their lips and I wasn’t listening. (Spoiler alert: everyone is less of an idiot then I was when I was a kid. No need to wait for the memoir.)

Kids these days have no respect.

There. I said it. Let me add some stage directions to this, for clarity.

Stage left, everyone under the age of 25: [heads down, tapping at their phones] Text me. I don’t do “speaking”. [All look up, sigh in chorus, and look back at their phones. Some of the cast members roll their eyes.]

Center stage, anyone between 25 and 37: Yeah, but they’ll learn. Give them a chance to express their ideas on this world and we’ll be happy for their challenging perspective. I embrace their view as it will help us grow both as individuals and a society. Also, Mom and Dad, please text me.

Stage right, everyone else: Bugger off, you disrespectful cretins.

The past informs the future; wisdom is learned through experience and experience is earned through the errors of our actions. That sounds a lot like a rationalization for screwing up all the time and maybe that’s true, but that doesn’t mean the premise is flawed; we must look behind us to understand where we are going. By respecting our past, we may build a better future.

In a world where the young have no respect for the wisdom of age and the old have no appreciation for the genius of youth, La Vie Velominatus cuts through the din and grounds us. Cycling is deeply rooted in the past while fiercely embracing the future. The Cyclist lives happily on both sides of the coin; cherishing our steel frames and hand-made tubular tires while embracing 10 and 11 speed drive-trains and featherweight carbon frames and deep-section wheels.

Keepers Tour 2012 was the first time I’d been to the cobbles of Northern Europe. When we arrived at the mouth of the Arenberg Forest, we were compelled to climb off and pay our respects to this, the most sacred of roads in our sport. By modern measure, this is the worst road imaginable: mossy cobbles roughly strewn across a narrow lane; uneven and sometimes as far as two or three centimeters apart. This is a road so rough it is difficult to walk down. To a Cyclist, it represents the most beautiful road on Earth. This is a road that lets us touch history.

A puzzle is meant to be solved; a mystery is not. The past is a puzzle and the future a mystery. Beauty is found in the space where the past and future live as one. Cycling is beauty.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @frank

    @PeakInTwoYears

    @ErikdR

    Charcoal and goose quills, ya youngsters! * shuffles back to stone slab and chisel*

    I have cut my own quill pens. Quill pens suck. Certain types of objects found the apogee of their design in the early 20th century. Pens and shaving equipment fall into this category.

    I was given a safety razor (with beautiful stand, soap cup if that's what its called, and brush) for Christmas. I find it very similar to gluing tubulars; its harder and takes more time, but it forces you to spend a little bit of time focusing on the simple task at hand. In the case of tubs, its gluing it on nice and straight; in the case of shaving it's getting yourself ready to look your best.

    I have to say, after the fear of slitting my own throat subsided, I am a massive fan.

    Its fun to need a tub of glue to set a tire, and its fun to need a sharps container to shave.

    I will not, however, use the safety razor on The Guns. If I miss a patch on my face, that's just my coworkers who have to suffer. If I miss a patch on my legs, I'm bound to notice just as my head frops as The V is escaping my body.

    After you get used to the safety razor (they really are just as safe as the cheap ones) sit down and do the math. I was amazed at how much cheaper they turn out to be compared to the HYPER TURBO MACH EIGHTEEN SUPER FAST ULTRA whatever

  • @SamFromTex

    After you get used to the safety razor (they really are just as safe as the cheap ones) sit down and do the math. I was amazed at how much cheaper they turn out to be compared to the HYPER TURBO MACH EIGHTEEN SUPER FAST ULTRA whatever

    Then you get to spend that money on kit and tires and single malt. And why? Because you're shaving like a mindful human being not some monkey-minded flunky, that's why. It's a total win. 

  • @SamV

    The juxtaposition of waxing nostalgic here vs. the hipster bashing in the previous thread is amusing to me - especially all the Moleskine love. I'm a center-stager here (28) and I think much of my generation (the core segment of aforementioned hipsters) wrestles with essentially growing up half-digital, as opposed to (damn) kids these days who are digital native and the (old) people who are older than us who have adopted and adapted to digital living.

    A big part of 'hipsterism' is nostalgia/minimalism: farm-to-table, vinyl, Moleskines. When I don't have a (well-kept) seasonal beard, I shave using a brush and razor (4-blades. No safety razor for me) because it simply does a better job. Same thing with quality of sound from vinyl. But it's also this kind of shit that people hate hipsters for. With a beard, I well fit in to that Lumbersexual category. I own a lot of plaid (I've always loved it), wear skinny jeans (but with my guns, all jeans are skinny...yeah...) and even have some nice boots that I wear often. I also love the shit out of my iPhone. It makes my life easier. And I haven't written in cursive in years.

    As for the younger generation. A lot of that is training/upbringing. I was taught to take my hat off when coming inside (any building. Restaurant, house, mall, whatever). When I have kids, they'll be taught the same thing. Pay attention to the people your with, not those elsewhere. It's just fucking manners and it can still be taught.

    Maybe we can replicate this post in the other thread.  Very well put.  I think the safety razor is partly down to skin/hair type.  I hack the shit out of my face if I use anything less than 3 blades, but on the guns pretty much anything works, but the hair on the guns is much finer than what comes out of my face/neck.

  • @VeloVita - Done. I've never had a request before. Part of it has to do with convenience. I personally have no problem with using technology to my advantage. Four blades saves some time (and my face)...Rule #33...compliance issues...I do know from getting a couple tattoos on my shin/calf that four blades work well there. And if I were to go full-compliance, my legs would be fucking smooth.

  • Ah, hipsterism involves minimalism. This explains the odd species I see wearing eyeglasses with no lenses.

  • My small future has finally arrived.

    The Narrative Clip is a tiny, automatic camera and app that gives you a searchable and shareable photographic memory.

  • @wiscot

    @Ccos

    @frank

    @ChrissyOne

    And when there was no crawdad, we ate sand.

    You're from Mississippi?

    Nope, their school system may suck, but someone from Mississippi knows one eats a crawfish not a crawdad (though they be the same thing).

    "I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got in the box..."

    Ooohhh . . . is that a nice little Raising Arizona reference you've slipped in there?

    ChrissyOne gets the genius grant for starting that one.

  • @Ron

    Cuts right across all levels of intelligence. My acetate frames have prescription lenses. My own experience, having spent a good chunk of my college career in the art department, much of the minimalism is the result of being broke (as a result of the high price of art supplies/booze/drugs). Now I have no money because it all goes to bike-related stuff.

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