Two golden tickets to Hell

There was a time when bicycles were lovingly handmade by artisans who themselves loved the sport more than those for whom they built the machines. Lugs were filed to become Luggs; chain and seat stays were beautifully chromed for durability despite the grams it added to the frame’s final weight; spokes were chosen for their purpose and laced to hubs and rims in a pattern that suited the specific purpose the wheel was intended to serve. Throughout the process – from building the frame to manufacturing of the components – extra care was taken to make every element of the bicycle beautiful; these bicycles, when you are in their presence, radiate La Vie Velominatus.

As was customary at the time, components would be pantographed and frames repainted and rebranded, leaving behind little evidence of their origin. But hidden in the components and frames were symbols that the manufacturers stamped into their wares to preserve their identity; Colnago their Fiore, Cinelli their C, and Campa their Shield. These symbols have come to hold great meaning within the sport and we of a certain ilk scour the photos of our heroes’ bikes for evidence of their existence.

For a variety of reasons including cost, proprietary tube-shapes, and repeatability of production, these practices have largely died away in mainstream bicycle manufacturing; in fact, nearly every element in the art of bicycle building that requires attention and skill is slowing being eliminated from the craft. Ahead-set stems have replaced the need for a carefully adjusted headset and stem, sealed-bearing bottom brackets and hubs have eliminated the subtle touch required to hold a race in place with one hand while tightening the assembly with the other. By and large, the machines and riders are stronger than the terrain they race over, leaving little practical need for the attention to detail and customization that once came as a matter of course.

There is, however, one magical week of racing where the terrain is still stronger than the riders: the cobbled classics of de Ronde van Vlaanderen and Paris-Roubaix. This is the one week during which the Pros still require highly customized machines and we, as fans, can scour the photos of our heroes’ kit, looking for the symbols tucked away in the components to discern their origins. One such symbol is the brass badge affixed to the valve-hole on Ambrosio rims.

These rims are chosen by the Specialists for their strength on the stones regardless of what wheel sponsorship obligations might exist within the team. Their mystique is further deepened for those of us living in the States because they aren’t available here. It follows, then, that the Golden Ticket, as I call it, is something I’ve coveted for as long as I can remember (which, admittedly, isn’t very long and, upsettingly, keeps getting less long) but have never had a good enough reason to justify procuring from Europe. But Keepers Tour, Cobbled Classics 2012 provided the perfect justification to go about finding a set and I wasted no time in doing so. Upon arrival, the rims spent the better part of two weeks sitting in my living room or next to my bed, patiently waiting for me to pick them up and rub my thumb over the badge, just to reassure myself they were still there.

Not long after the rims arrived, I excitedly loaded a picture of Boonen in the 2010 Ronde and turned the laptop to show my VMH.

Frank: Hey, what do you see.

VMH: Boonen. Goddamn, he’s a stud. Don’t let me too close to him; I can’t be responsible for my actions.

Frank: What about his wheels.

VMH: What?

Frank: Don’t you see? He’s got my rims.

VMH: You can’t possibly know that.

Frank: Openly shows his exasperation by groaning audibly and rolling his eyes. Yes, I do. Check it. You can see the Golden Ticket on his back wheel. Its obvious as shit. What’s wrong with you?

VMH: Sighs, pours another glass of wine. Exits stage left. Hopefully not for good.

*Coincidentally, on the same day that this article was being written, Inrng published a similar (better) article on a related subject of hand-built wheels. Well worth the read: The Dying Art of Wheelbuilding

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Bongo
    That's a good suggestion! I'm actually having the same problem on my R3 - a recurring thing that comes and goes. I've regreased the seatpost before but forgot about that. I'll try that one as well.

    We had a good chat on fixing noises a while back: In Pursuit of Silence

  • @eightzero

    Hahaha! This is a great post. Love your work, Frank.
    And I do love having these conversation with my VMH as well. Riding behind my VMH, I mentioned once, "your bike does not maintain The Principle of Silence..." She responded with "well...fix it, asshole. Otherwise harden the fuck up and ride your bike."
    Swear. To. Merckx.

    Sounds your woman and mine are cut from the same cloth. Only I can't imagine why you'd be riding behind her. I've seen her, and I've seen you. You trying to get a draft off her is like a elephant hiding behind a mouse.

  • @Gianni

    @Ron
    I've got another way, get rid of the measuring tape and stop trying to find the center of the BB. I use a piece of wood (like a blank yard stick) I can mark with a pen. With the crank parallel with the seat tube, put the stick on your pedal platform or axle and keeping the front edge of stick aligned with center of the seat post, sight across the top of the saddle and mark the stick there. Assuming you have the same pedals you can get within a mm or two on the next bike.
    I bet that made little sense. This measures the total pedal to saddle height distance.
    @Simon If Pinarellos still looked this good I would still lust after them. That is a Bel Mezzo.

    Do you mean paralel or perpendicular?

  • @jaja
    Does that bike come with compulsory plus-twos, tweed socks and a flat cap? How many children fit in that saddlebag?

  • @frank
    Great bit of writing. Those rims look so cool I almost want to build some up. Being Oli-old, i.e. pre-Mavic factory wheels old, I have built my share of wheelsets mostly because that's what you did. My first wheel truing stand was the Peugeot, using the brakes as guides and a pencil across the calipers as a check on roundness.

    I never got great at it, spokes tended to work loose after many km but I wouldn't notice until the one spoke that was holding it true broke, ping, and then ya open up the brakes and finish the ride with a huge wobble.

    I embraced my factory Campa wheels completely. I've never trued them, ever, and they must have 40K km on them. But go with Merckx, get some kilometers on them before April and retrue. And forget the copper wire and solder advice I gave you, it's overkill and as someone pointed out, you can't replace a spoke easily. It's rubbish.

  • @frank

    @eightzero

    Hahaha! This is a great post. Love your work, Frank.
    And I do love having these conversation with my VMH as well. Riding behind my VMH, I mentioned once, "your bike does not maintain The Principle of Silence..." She responded with "well...fix it, asshole. Otherwise harden the fuck up and ride your bike."
    Swear. To. Merckx.

    Sounds your woman and mine are cut from the same cloth. Only I can't imagine why you'd be riding behind her. I've seen her, and I've seen you. You trying to get a draft off her is like a elephant hiding behind a mouse.

    Yep. Size matters. And it isn't for the draft; it's because she can't see around me when she sits my wheel. Like she needs to do that - she climbs faster than me (sweet mother of Merckx, everyone climbs faster than me) and is like the energizer bunny on most centuries. Besides, I can see over her when I'm not admiring her ass. Telling you, if I get too close to that, I can't be responsible for my actions.

  • While we're talking wheelbuilding, this is maybe a good place to bring up the recent buzz about road disk brakes. I have a buddy that rides a tandem, and he says disk road brakes are the nuts. He'd never go back to rim brakes.

    Not sure how I feel about riding on a dished front wheel. And I'm sure not going to fuck with hydraulic shitte.

    Depends on the execution I guess. Discuss? Cyclocrossers?

  • Disk brakes for road bike application?? I can see advantages for their use on log haul treking bikes, tandems, and certainly CX. I have read that the widespread use of carbon wheels and their inconsistent braking surface has stimulated interest for road bike applications. Since I don't rid carbon wheels, rim brakes have been ok for me. Besides, brakes are over rated anyway, they just slow you down.

  • Bruyneel really wants them apparently, which makes me disinclined.

    Does anyone with carbon wheels have anything to add? If you can lock them up with rim brakes, why bother with disks?

    Someone had this up in comments somewhere saying this is when Bruyneel got the idea, I lol'd.

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