Two golden tickets to Hell

There was a time when bicycles were lovingly handmade by artisans who themselves loved the sport more than those for whom they built the machines. Lugs were filed to become Luggs; chain and seat stays were beautifully chromed for durability despite the grams it added to the frame’s final weight; spokes were chosen for their purpose and laced to hubs and rims in a pattern that suited the specific purpose the wheel was intended to serve. Throughout the process – from building the frame to manufacturing of the components – extra care was taken to make every element of the bicycle beautiful; these bicycles, when you are in their presence, radiate La Vie Velominatus.

As was customary at the time, components would be pantographed and frames repainted and rebranded, leaving behind little evidence of their origin. But hidden in the components and frames were symbols that the manufacturers stamped into their wares to preserve their identity; Colnago their Fiore, Cinelli their C, and Campa their Shield. These symbols have come to hold great meaning within the sport and we of a certain ilk scour the photos of our heroes’ bikes for evidence of their existence.

For a variety of reasons including cost, proprietary tube-shapes, and repeatability of production, these practices have largely died away in mainstream bicycle manufacturing; in fact, nearly every element in the art of bicycle building that requires attention and skill is slowing being eliminated from the craft. Ahead-set stems have replaced the need for a carefully adjusted headset and stem, sealed-bearing bottom brackets and hubs have eliminated the subtle touch required to hold a race in place with one hand while tightening the assembly with the other. By and large, the machines and riders are stronger than the terrain they race over, leaving little practical need for the attention to detail and customization that once came as a matter of course.

There is, however, one magical week of racing where the terrain is still stronger than the riders: the cobbled classics of de Ronde van Vlaanderen and Paris-Roubaix. This is the one week during which the Pros still require highly customized machines and we, as fans, can scour the photos of our heroes’ kit, looking for the symbols tucked away in the components to discern their origins. One such symbol is the brass badge affixed to the valve-hole on Ambrosio rims.

These rims are chosen by the Specialists for their strength on the stones regardless of what wheel sponsorship obligations might exist within the team. Their mystique is further deepened for those of us living in the States because they aren’t available here. It follows, then, that the Golden Ticket, as I call it, is something I’ve coveted for as long as I can remember (which, admittedly, isn’t very long and, upsettingly, keeps getting less long) but have never had a good enough reason to justify procuring from Europe. But Keepers Tour, Cobbled Classics 2012 provided the perfect justification to go about finding a set and I wasted no time in doing so. Upon arrival, the rims spent the better part of two weeks sitting in my living room or next to my bed, patiently waiting for me to pick them up and rub my thumb over the badge, just to reassure myself they were still there.

Not long after the rims arrived, I excitedly loaded a picture of Boonen in the 2010 Ronde and turned the laptop to show my VMH.

Frank: Hey, what do you see.

VMH: Boonen. Goddamn, he’s a stud. Don’t let me too close to him; I can’t be responsible for my actions.

Frank: What about his wheels.

VMH: What?

Frank: Don’t you see? He’s got my rims.

VMH: You can’t possibly know that.

Frank: Openly shows his exasperation by groaning audibly and rolling his eyes. Yes, I do. Check it. You can see the Golden Ticket on his back wheel. Its obvious as shit. What’s wrong with you?

VMH: Sighs, pours another glass of wine. Exits stage left. Hopefully not for good.

*Coincidentally, on the same day that this article was being written, Inrng published a similar (better) article on a related subject of hand-built wheels. Well worth the read: The Dying Art of Wheelbuilding

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @James
    James it is really hard to say how fast any tire would wear as it all depends on many factors like your weight,the tire pressure you ride on,the quality of the roads etc.In terms of Vittorias you may find some answers here

    http://www.vittoria.com/tech/faq/

    Also don't be fooled by open tubular name.It sounds better than clincher I guess however it's just another clincher tire.

  • @Chris

    @Nate

    @Chris
    Not sure how much gluing you've done...

    Model planes and bits of coloured tissue paper, loads. Tyres, none.
    But you've got to start somewhere and 180km across northern France seems like as good a place as any.
    Whilst I might be out of my depth here, @Tommy's advice comes across as being authentic and any thing with @Oli's seal of approval is good enough for me. Thanks for your advice also.

    Here's some pretty solid guidance for gluing tubulars (except maybe using Benzene instead of Acetone for cleaning up glue). The mechanic makes it look ridiculously simple; and if you do it incorrectly, he will show up at your door...

  • @TommyTubolare, @gravity bob

    Thanks for all the info and tips. I get the wheels back from the builder today so hopefully I'll get the old glue off tonight and a first layer of clue on.

    @TommyTubolare

    Prepare well and the job will go smooth.

    The words of a wise man.

    @TommyTubolare

    Before you begin your final coat of glue on the rim make sure you've got everything ready... ...open beer to admire your work immediately after you're done.

    Even wiser words, as a younger man I would have started with a beer.

  • @Chris
    Are you concerned that you'll have to put your A&E skills into practice when I roll a tub at full gas on the cobbles?

    Of course I'm going to try them out before the Tour. It's the rugby club sportsman's diner on Saturday (should be very entertaining, all you can drink, Dean Richards is the guest speaker and Roger Dakin is the MC - very funny un-PC ex England hockey player), but after I've recovered from that I'll start training for the Keepers Tour.

  • @Dr C
    That last comment was aimed at you not me, what an 'rse I am.

    @Dr C

    Locked and loaded

    Some green on my machine

    Bit keen isn't it, setting up your own personal cobbled section?

  • Tried gluing my Paves onto the Nemeses with mixed success. Did the front first and when I'd got the tub onto the rim I went to give it a bit more air and the valve core came out when I unscrewed the pump head. By the time I'd got it back in securely, the glue was getting to solid to be able to adjust the way in which it was sat on the rim which wasn't terribly even. Fucking 'rse!

    I blame Michael Jackson. The TV was on in the other room and some docudrama about him came on. You can't do zen shit like that to Michael Jackson. Properly fucking fucked with my shit that did. What's the best way forward, a bit more glue and pop it on now or wait 12 hours and try it again?

    The rear went on well though.

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