What motivates a Velominatus? It seems a simple question, but the answer is complicated and gets into various issues that are neither interesting nor compelling.
For me, cycling has been a life-long obsession. I enjoy any kind of riding. I enjoy technical, single-track mountain biking, I enjoy riding on dirt roads or wide trails. I enjoy commuting by bike, and I enjoy riding my bike to the local markets. I love riding an old clunker bike around a city like Amsterdam. But my heart has always belonged to road cycling.
When I was a kid, my dream was to start a frame-building business. In my free time, I sketched bicycles – anything from standard road bikes to exotic time trial machines. I even designed logos for my imagined company, humbly named Strack Cycles. When not designing frames, the next priority was to dream up the names and kits for the teams Strack Cycles would invariably sponsor.
When time allowed during the Summer months, I would go for multiple training rides per day, some on the road, and some off. Officially a Nordic ski racer, I realized that I had become a cyclist when the shortening of the days as Fall approached was met with dread that the cycling season was coming to a close rather than excitement for the imminent ski season.
Long hours on the road bike were filled with fantasies of being in day-long solo breakaways at the Tour de France; motivation to climb aboard my bike in the rain was eased by imagining I was racing in a Belgian Spring classic.
Such are the motivations of this particular Velominatus.
Then came Velominati. We've carried on long conversations. We've established our own vernacular. Most of us are probably on some psychiatric “People of Interest” list. And, we have our own kit. In addition to bearing the Velominati colors and logos, the kit bears various details that only those of us in the know will appreciate: the “Obey the Rules” emblem appears in various places, and the right leg of the bibs bear three Rules, referred to only by number and oriented such that they are legible for the wearer. We modestly believe it to be the most awesomest kit on the planet, ever.
A non-nondescript box greeted me upon my arrival home from work yesterday. The box bore a simple, handwritten note: “Velominati – You Must Obey”, signalling the arrival of the first order of the Velominati Kit (which leads me to believe the folks at Castelli subscribe to Rules Holism). My hands were shaking as I opened the box and gazed in at the oblique realization of a lifelong dream.
With that, I present the Velominati kit, made by Castelli and designed by KRX-10. We'll be placing more orders throughout the year, so just drop us a line if you'd like to put the whole Rule #17 issue to bed and fly the Velominati colors.
UPDATE: I have updated the set of photos in the post to more accurately reflect the colors of the actual kit. The kit is black, and in no way brownish or purple, as some of the photos appear to be.
[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Velominati Kit Arrival/”/]
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@Marko
One word: commitment.
@Rob
About an inch diameter
Today is the DAY!
Frank and all, It is here The New Kit, Stunning! The best of all is that it makes me look thin!!! This will mean that I will be peaking in a month.
For all those out there whose old kit has too many holes (hopefully from race crashes) or who no longer ride for a team (hopefully not because of drugs) this is THE Kit you will want.
That is one beautifully designed and rendered kit. Is there an application form to determine whether prospective orders are worthy of this? The big task will be persuading the missus...
@SteampunkGo with Geof's technique - timing is everything.
P.S. I don't fing (how slow am I??) believe it, I just got the "frozen potatoes" ho, ho. so focused on the Kit that I missed the box.
New term in the lexicon for now you will be "climbing like an eagle" to completely confuse the competition?
@Rob
Don't feel bad. I didn't see the frozen potatoes box until this morning either and I'm usually the master of picking out obscure details in pics.
and by the by, I whole heartedly support your velominati card idea for the exact same reasons you mention.
That never works in our house; she's way too smart for that. This is going to be tricky.
I have been wondering the same type of thing - what do I do when someone says "Why do you have "Obey The Rules"" on your bumper? Are you a cop?" I have reached the tentative conclusion that the only appropriate Velominati riposte is to quote a rule at them. For example, some people might deserve a simple recitation of Rule 5. Others (such as those who look bigger and/or more heavily armed than me) might best be directed towards something a bit less confrontational - perhaps Rule 4. Those who have obviously recently injested a heavy dose of recreational pharmaceuticals can be directed to one of the other rules, chosen at random, on which they can trip for the next hour or so. Etc. This seems to me to be consistent with the Velominati ethos - at least, for those of us who are Rule Holists. The Cognoscenti will, presumably, restrict themselves to repeating Rule 5 - the greater size and/or weaponry of their interlocutor merely underscoring how seriously they take it. But I am still new to all of this, and possibly those with more experience will have a more informed view.
@all
So, are we thinking we should be doing business cards for Velominati? I similar idea occurred to me, so also drop a pile off at bike shops etc. But while riding? Are you going to hand out sweaty cards? I like the idea. Maybe just carry them in a ziploc baggie?
I am bracing myself for what David and Jarvis will have to say on this.