How they must wish they were born long ago, in a simpler time, when bikes were made by artisans, not robots, and they were shiny and classy, much like the automobiles of the same era. When the only substances they need ingest came from a decanter, and they could enjoy a quiet smoke along with their tipple. And they certainly long to be able to wear a long trenchcoat and Aviators on the way to the podium, or a crisp single-breasted suit with a smart Trilby, perfect attire for lounging after winning a Classic, or attending a Gentleman’s Club, rather than wrapped in nylon and dipped head to toe in fluoro paint and topped off with something more commonly seen at Yankee Stadium.
Just look at these pillars of style. They never had to fear the beginning of the season, when their DS would toss them a few plastic bags and tell them “this is what we wear this year.” They knew exactly what they were getting; solid colours, no fancy fonts, the main sponsor easily read in bold lettering, and black fucking shorts. There was no apprehension when moving to a new team about what hue of pink or aqua or yellow they would be subjected to. They knew hey were going to Look Fantastic.
Unless, of course, they’d signed for Atala.
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@Bespoke
It seems much of the discussion has been around the merits of the kits themselves, as opposed to a non-pro actually wearing them. However, as the rule's description indicates, wearing pro team kit is questionable but not a contravention of the rule.
Here are some guidelines I have gleaned from other Velominati, if one does go down this route: the kit should be from a defunked team (at least 10 years), it should only be worn while riding a bicycle of the same era (no Frankenstein mashup of parts, and please for the love of Merckx no fixie conversions) and the kit should be Awesome (as with a good suit, you should be wearing the kit and not have the kit wearing you).
As to what constitutes Awesome, clearly that is the debate at hand - even among The Keepers.
@Nate
It's Museeuw. No rules apply. He makes the rules. We follow them.
@Bianchi Denti
In the hairnet days, the shades were applied first, then the harinet - as a last resort just before crossing the finish line. Outside Belgium, it was usually discarded prior to the finale, which made having the shades inside the straps a very practical thing. Racing in Belgium was enough of an afterthought that the shades-over-the-straps Rule didn't really become part of the culture until hardshells became more prominent and permanent.
Looking back at the Heroes of the Past, I'd say that any given rider's ability to adapt to Looking Fantastic in a helmet is directly proportional to their generation. Fignon looked a fucking tit in a helmet, but always looked fantastic prior to wearing one. Jan Ullrich bridged both, but then you have the modern rider and they are generally able to figure the game out.
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@Ccos
Spot on about the functional downside of black kit. Last year, we had all black too which looked Fantastic off the bike, and received approving comments on a regular basis. But they got lost in a sea of black at every race. This year we added a field of light blue to the lower section on front and back. Much easier to spot. Old and new on Labor Day (and yes my teammate up front with the EPMS was soundly chastised before the ride):
@frank
Indeed; although AH's exploits in the 7-Eleven kit were awesome as well. So one POV is that it's OK to wear a kit from a team defunct >10 years. How about wearing the kit when you meet the guy who actually wore it (AH in brown sweater, me in my AH tribute jersey with a bike his brother built for me with their name on the DT and AH's picture on the ST)? Does it make it better when the former pro has signed your jersey when you got to hang with him the summer before kids you about some guy having scribbled on your jersey?
Oh, besides the 7-Eleven I'm fond of La Vie Claire, Molteni ala Merckx, Brooklyn ala De Vlaeminck, Flandria ala Maertens, early iteration of QS-whomever ala Tommeke (blue w/white, white w/blue), PDM ala Dutch dopers (and Kelly, and LeMan).... Something about classic jerseys.
I find myself of two minds on Mapei -- sometimes I like it a lot, other times meh. Current stuff I like Lotto-Belisol. Not much else speaks to me....
@Optimiste Great response. Thanks!
@JohnB
Yeah that turned me off too. Those stripes mean something.
From Peleton Magazine. Photograph by KÃ¥re Dehlie Thorstad.
I think this kit is quite nice, assuming one is the British champion of course. I'm not fond of the translucent jerseys, but I understand that Spain can be rather warm this time of year so I'm willing to let it slide in this instance.
@JCM
Peter Kennaugh is indeed the current British champion. From memory he was recently awarded an MBE by @Gianni for excellence in field of fabulous shoes and socks.
Assuming he's on the way to the Vuelta team presentations or a stage sign on, those sun glasses are fucking awesome as well.
If I was to stray from the path and forego rule 16 or rule 17, that kit would be the one.
@Optimiste
I've got a Cervelo Test Team kit from the days before I found the one true path. In terms of quality, fit and comfort it's probably one of the best I've got but for all of the reasons above it will only ever get ridden on the rollers in the garage.
It's also the light grey/white summer version and I've no idea how transparent the rear panels might be but after spending a few minutes behind a chap on a group ride in France last week who's bibs showed every 'rse hair, I couldn't dream of inflicting that on anyone. (I recalled @franks advice on how to cope with riding behind bikes with fenders and promptly returned myself to the front of the group and upped the pace to attempt to erase the mental image through hypoxic suffering and lactic acid).