Mountain roads in the Mount Rainier Valley

When you’re digging deeper into Rock and Roll, you’re on a freight train headed straight for the blues.
– Jack White

The analog for this in Cycling is that as we dig deeper into cycling, we’re headed for The Mountains. Suffering is the altar of our sport, and Rule VV emphasizes the experience: the pain never lessens; the only indication we have that we are getting better is that the pain simply doesn’t last as long. Like some kind of voluntary Stockholm Syndrome, we find ourselves captivated by mountains, fantasising about riding roads that represent nothing but hours of misery.

I sat in a small dual-prop plane this morning, staring at the imposing and breathtaking view of the series of volcanoes that line the coast from Seattle to Portland. So beautiful, yet incomprehensibly destructive, I’ve never seen them in a row like this, a panorama only possible on a clear day aboard a small, low-flying plane. (I’ve got a thing for volcanoes.)

But this twisted mind of mine could hardly allow me the beauty of what I was seeing; in the valleys directly below the plane were wispy ribbons that cut across the hillsides in a complicated web; ribbons I knew to be mountain roads. Snow-covered dome followed snow-covered dome along my journey, scarcely noticed as I made a silent vow to worship these roads in the only way I know how: to submit to suffering upon them.

Which begs the question, why do we subject ourselves to this? We claim to love our sport, but the word “suffering” doesn’t convey nor imply pleasure. I’m not a religious man, so I’m making a lot of assumptions about the details, but when we say that Jesus suffered upon the Cross, I am fairly certain that we aren’t to take from that the idea that he found it to be in some way exhilarating, that he had a desktop wallpaper of his Cross #1 and a screensaver which rotated through all his Crosses – the ones for good weather and for bad, in different types of wood – along with up-close shots of the beautiful joinery work.

The difference is that on rare occasion, the suffering doesn’t feel like suffering. It feels like freedom, like control over ourselves in a way we can’t find off the bike. Yesterday morning, I stole out for a ride before work. Almost absent-mindedly, I chose the route that snakes its way north, climbing and descending along the Puget Sound coast. Summer mornings in the Pacific Northwest can be almost mystical, with the Marine Layer causing the lower-lying lands to be shrouded in fog while the higher areas are experiencing a spectacular clear morning with views of mountains on three sides and water on the fourth. This was such a day.

Ten minutes into the ride, I was rolling effortlessly along Shilshole Marina, ensconced in a blanket of fog. The masts from the countless sailboats formed hypnotic silhouettes as they gently swayed in the waves, tied to their piers. At the end of the marina, I swung right under the railroad tracks, and rolled onto the first climb of the day, the climb to Blue Ridge from Golden Gardens.

I settled into my rhythm and hit the first switchback moving faster than usual; I swung wide and cut into the turn aggressively so I wouldn’t sweep into oncoming traffic on the exit. I reveled for a moment in the fleeting pleasure that comes when I have to coast through a turn on a climb, then slipped the chain onto the little ring as the gradient kicked up and as the climb started its more determined journey to the top of the ridge.

This is where I always take my seat in the Hurt Locker; the middle section is not terribly steep, but the gradient fluctuates and the pavement is bad in places. As such, it doesn’t suit my ‘strengths’ as a (bad) climber, and here I ask the agent for an aisle seat in the hopes that the pain might be less suffocating there, but instead I find my normal seat in the back row, next to the overweight nose-breather.

I pushed through the steep section in a state of simple, one-dimensional suffering. This is the state consisting of the customary leg-burning, lung-searing pain that I feel every time a gradient kicks up. Where the suffering takes on some complexity is when the gradient eases and I am rendered powerless against the urge to drop the chain into a cog with a tooth or two less. But then something unexpected happened; rather than the usual onset of square pedaling, I found that while the pain levels stayed the same, the speed increased. That can’t be right, so I tried again, another tooth less. The same story, the speed increases. I don’t like to look down, but I forgave myself a quick glance to make sure something wasn’t amuck, like that my chain was missing or some such thing. Sure enough, there was a problem: I was so far down my block that I was about to Schleckacnical.

I did the only thing that seemed reasonable under the circumstances: I moved Sur la Plaque. Again, the speed increased. I swung onto the last stretch of the climb, where the gradient increases again. Out of the saddle, and I was over it before I even realized where I was.

As I reached the top, I broke through the clouds and was bathed in sunlight. The change in light broke the spell, and the magic was gone at once. As I began the descent, I realized that what I experienced was a visit from La Volupte; that was as good as I would feel the rest of the ride, if not the whole season.

She won’t visit again soon, but one short visit from La Volupte is enough to remind me that those fleeting moments are worth countless hours-long sessions under the iron crush of the Man with the Hammer.

There is a place where my soul rests, and that place is in the Mountains. To climb well is to walk for a moment where angels fly.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Dr C

    By the way, how long does it take everyone to loosen up? - I can't get my guns firing until I've done at least 10 miles and a 1000ft climb - is there some way to bypass this, as it is hateful suffering, albeit transient - after that, whatever comes next is fine, throw it at me, but Merckx do I suffer until then, but not in a pleasant way..... any advice welcome (apart from Rule #5 suggestions)

    After todays climb I felt the same way, I really struggle on that first big climb. The ride out to the gap felt slow, and then the climb was slow as usual (I'm not at "climbing" weight, as my name would imply) but then the ride back feels quite easy.

    Maybe on the next ride to the local gap I'll time my accent up and then repeat, see if the time improves. My guess is it will.

  • @frank

    Great words!

    Once I was an athlete (as the saying goes) and I sadly miss those few days as an active when there simply was no stop. When you could do your ordinary hill climb intervals in gears that you on an ordinary day just couldn't manage and you arrived at the top laughing, turned around and did it once more just for the hell of it. In a good season I probably had 2-3 such days spread over the year, never at a race though.

    I miss that feeling of completely harmony with myself and my bike and like a junkie longing for the feeling of that virgin fix I seem to forever strive to gat back into that swat spot.

    Man and machine, the way it should be!

    Cheers,
    Patrick

  • 3 weeks ago I was invited on a 200km ride with 3,000m vertical. This summer has been the end of a 3 year quest for a fitness and ideal climbing weight that I have not seen in 10 years. I had hit the weight goal a month ago in time for a 160km, 2,500m ride. So I knew that I was ready.

    The day had been predicted to be overcast and intermittent rain. It turned out to be 90F degrees and humid with sun for 60% of the ride. At 16km we climbed 300m in 2.5km and then did hard rolling and climbing until 125km. After a short food and water stop Mount Greylock was tackled.

    I had driven up the easy side of Greylock years ago but we did the hard side and I have to admit it was more than I expected... 10km and 1,000m. I am going out on a limb here but it was for 4-6km harder than Mount Washington. Ok it's almost 3km shorter and the top 1/3 is almost flat in places - but the bottom 1/2 is a very tough climb.

    At the 2/3's point of the climb I had to stop and cool down. But a little excuse could have been my gear... I ride old school just out of cheapness and cussedness - 42X24 is my twiddle gear and so far it has played a key role in gaining fitness. Also the old Bertoni (don't ask) is no feather weight and with 2 full water bottles...

    Coming so close to a Ventoux experience was a first for me and after 20 minutes I limped to the top where I found a buddy stretched out on the grass totally pale, gaunt, incoherent and disorientated and another guy also shaky.

    1/2 hour latter we are good to go and the last 50km's were fairly flat. The irony was that the last 35km's we covered at 38kph and (not bragging - no really, but this was the cool part) on the grass guy and I did most of the pulls with 2 others. The four doing the work at the end were the four slowest on the climb (and oldest).

    The nine of us finished the ride and agreed with the heat and elevation it had been EPIC! So Ned Overend, aged 56, just won Mt. Washington with a very respectable time, this gives me hope that next year with some more hill repeats under my belt, better weather and a 39x27 I will be there with the young bucks...

  • @Rob

    http://www.northeastcycling.com/Mtn_Climbs.html

    This site has profiles of a bunch of climbs including Greylock (which is 40 miles from where I grew up in NY.) Also there's an article on there about age and how fast you climb, and also an article comparing other climb times as prep for Mount Washington.

    Great site overall.

  • @King Clydesdale
    Awesome K.C. - Thank you, the home page with "Dougs" personal story is great! 230lbs down to 165lbs and overall winner of the BUMPS northeast hillclimb championship series title - whoooa. Puts my little jaunt into perspective...

    P.S. I was bummed to see that Greylock from the north's average grade was only 5.9% but if you go be prepared for at least 15% for some of the tough bottom sections. I believe the fastest time up it is 36 minutes, low 50's for Mt. Washington and then 2:30's for Franks little bump...

  • Great stuff Frank! There is something amazing about the way the human body reacts and adapts to physical stress... To put yourself into physical duress and feel your body react (sometimes magically and sometimes with a bonk) is really living. It's what keeps me coming back for more!

  • @Marcus
    Well, we know he's got plenty of candles....

    Late to the thread, but a fantastic discussion. Climbing has long been my favorite discipline, even though I'm the wrong body type (taller, short legs, long torso) and lack the high tolerance for pain necessary to be truly proficient at it. I still dig it and am lucky to live around any number of routes that offer long/short/steep/gradual or any combination of the four, in sequence. And while I love the long, meditative suffering of road climbing, I have lately become entranced by a very different beast: climbing on the mountain bike.

    Long climbs on the road at their best are transcendent. You find the gear and cadence best suited for the gradient, settle in and suffer, adjusting only when The Man With the Hammer pays a visit, the slope eases or it's time to go Sur Le Plaque. On the mountain bike, what might be a long meditation on The V becomes a cage fight. I constantly have to be watching the terrain, monitoring stroke and effort, recovering where possible for the big efforts that are going to be required, moving forward and back to maximize traction, handling, manual-ing, etc. No time to think, no time to talk, no time to even enjoy the scenery beyond a quick peek. But the payoff is SO worth it. Rule 55 applies double for mountain bikes. This weekend I had the pleasure to do both a 80 km club ride on the road Saturday and a 35k mtb ride (17.5km, 1300m climb out and back) on Sunday. And loved 'em both.

    As I say above, I am topographically blessed, not to mention the fact that I live on a hill. So any ride I take on the road bike ends with a 1km, 150m grunt. And I'm OK with that. But if I leave my house and go up, I'm on the mtb. And I have an embarrassment of riches to choose from. I'll leave you with my summer obsession; a little 5k / 500m climb I've been doing repeats on after work.

    PS Rule 29 violation...

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